You know when they tell you that
Life will figure itself out?
That you mustn't worry because you are still young?
That you have your whole life ahead to figure out your path?
I remember hearing this years and years ago
I am quite young
But a small glimmer of hope
Has finally shined my way
Maybe I do know a part of my future
Maybe I do know what will happen to me
And it is the best thing I could have ever asked for
So maybe know
I vaguely understand what they meant

I am in my feelings a lot
But I wish I could see you while I am
Then maybe I wouldn't feel as bad
Isn't it crazy?
We could hug and talk for hours every day
And ever since you left
And I came back
It takes so much will power to even say hi to you
Do you notice me as much as I notice you?
Isn't it crazy?
That I came into your house
That we saw each other multiple times
By dumb luck
And it still felt unnatural
Isn't it crazy?
That even when I thought we could have come back together
I was still wrong
And that the only time you finally said hi to me
It felt so... strange
Isn't it crazy?
That I will come over again
And it will be so hard to be around you
Even though you were the one person that saved me
So long ago
When I had no one else around

Mental health is a trend
Monetized by every media
It is no surprise
That people are so open
And I see it
The repetition of the words
Mental health
Mental health
Mental health
Each one a dollar
Because “raising awareness”
Isn’t the same as being vulnerable
Because saying that you are exhausted
Isn’t the same when millions of people call you brave and beautiful
It doesn’t seem like it could be the same
I honestly wouldn't know
But it seems like it
When you have a million people there
Saying you are
Beautiful
Strong
Brave
Amazing
An inspiration
It must make a small difference
Even if slightly
I’d do anything to feel supported
From thousands of people
To feel like there are people that love me unconditionally
You do not walk a lonely path
If every time you say the words
You gain
If anything
You walk a green path
Because vulnerability is a trend
And it is sweetened and morphed
Into sweet, green rectangles

I have been writing for months
Things that I have been wanting to share
Mostly feelings
But isn't that why we all do this?

I wish there was so much more than just this
And when she told me that it was stupid
I replied saying
If he hated me
Wouldn't he have left before I could see him?
Would he have looked back after we left the same place?
Wouldn't he have tried to avoid me?
Would he have said hello?
She said people change
I know they do
But who is she to tell me
That there is not even a small speck of friendship left?
I do not care if he doesn't like me as much as I like him
But as long as I can call him a friend
Then I am content

As Fish swam
It met a strange piece of plastic
Afloat above the surface
That seemed to curve slightly beneath the water
Fish swam to it
Despite the fear
And the piece of plastic didn’t move
So Fish became intrigued
And it swam to its center
Poking at it with its flat eyes
Days went on
And Fish rested with the plastic
Feeling at peace with it
And so it became Plastic
And Fish stayed friendly with Plastic
No matter how much bigger or different it was
Fish spoke to Plastic nonetheless
It felt dependent on it
It felt comfortable and happy
Something that Fish had not felt from its cold lake surrounding it
Until
One fatal day
Plastic dashed
Almost parting the water of the lake
Too fast for Fish to swim after it
And as it went to catch its friend
Fish started to feel things it had felt before
And it felt betrayed
Alone
As if it had wasted time
On a simple piece of plastic
So it swam until it couldn’t anymore for Plastic
And soon stopped and tried to forget about Plastic
Fish finally went back home
Lonesome days went by
Fish went on with its life
Struggling to feel content with what it was doing
On its own
Until one fatal day
Fish left its home
And saw a piece of plastic
The same piece of plastic it remembered
But it was a little different
With more scratches and some seaweed attached to it
So now Fish swam towards Plastic excitedly
And swam to the surface when it reached Plastic
And looked above the water
And saw that Plastic had long sails
Ropes attached
And it looked so slick and modern
It was massive too
Fish swam back down
It saw so much more of Plastic
So much more than Fish had never imagined
Which set them apart even more
Which made them so much more different
So Fish never went close to Plastic again
It still felt betrayal
Even more afraid now
And remembered the days that followed Plastic's sudden leave
Like a sharp knife to its tiny, beating heart
Because Plastic grew up and different
And Plastic reminded Fish of many things
Like misunderstanding
Like disappointment
And it didn’t want to feel like that ever again
So it never went close to Plastic again
It never left again
But it felt... distant
And it was painful to wonder what Plastic and Fish could have done together
And so Fish tried once more
And Plastic seemed pleased
For it did not move
And so Fish tried once more
And this time it felt something
A strange tension between the two
But then
That night
In confusion of whether the feeling was good or not
Fish remembered how much it hurt
To be left by Plastic
To be alone again
So suddenly
And it felt afraid that Plastic might not be as happy to be around Fish as Fish was to be around Plastic
And now Fish waits for Plastic to see through the litter in the lake
And finally dash for Fish

I have always found poetry stupid
I thought that poetry was only for the classics
And the only good ones needed a deep
Impossible to understand
Meaning
But I do not wish for those
People should read poetry because it makes them feel less alone
People should read poetry because they want to feel something
Not because they feel like analyzing every word
Not because they want to sit there
Confused and straining
Against scribbles on a screen or paper
If I felt alone
I wouldn't want to struggle
I'd want to read words that I know the meaning of
So maybe poetry
Isn't as hard as people think

It seems like I ***** feelings
Like I barely think about meanings
Like I put absolutely no effort into these
And even though even to me it seems like so
I feel that it is better like this
I felt bottled up
I wanted to share everything
Without being afraid of being made fun of
I understand
I understand that these are cheesy
Sad and cringe-worthy
Maybe I am too young to understand
But for now
I will keep writing
Because if that keeps me away from the monsters
Then I will keep doing just that

This is where I question myself
If I ever really needed you in my life
Or if it was all in my head
If maybe you truly never saw anything in me
Even though you still know my name
After all these years
You still know my name
And so this is where I question you
If you ever really cared
Or if the distance drove us apart
If maybe you never wanted to let me go
Even though you still know my name
After all these years
You still know my name