Hm .

Sadness something you think I don’t go through cause I don’t display it
Day to day I fake it
I should be in a movie I play happiness like a gem
I never present my emotions to them
Whole time I’m drowning and you’d never know
Keep my feelings down on the low
No one knows of the pain the runs deep
Or how at night how my thoughts creep
my mind goes crazy and I can’t sleep
When I’m out late at night driving and it hits me
Going 100  the speed limit is 60
Blast music to cancel out my pain
Trying to clear the clouds and the rain
I’ve isolated myself to the point to where I can’t repent
Wonder why my heart has these big dents
Maybe cause to not a soul on earth can I vent
One person to be my safe place God has not sent
I’ve tried to confide in myself only to make me feel so alone
When I’m tryna keep my heart from turning to stone
Drowning in the ocean
of my own emotions
When I just need to be saved
But my pride comes in a wave
It hurts to let someone in
I feel so vulnerable in the end
something that I want but my pride won’t let me possess
Cause it sees it as a threat
My head tells me no
But my heart truly knows
I’m in need to share my love
On my heart I push and shove
I have so much affection bottled up inside till my heart hurts
And endless tears fall from my face down on my shirt
Feelings booming till my hearts feels as if it may bust out my chest
Is it bad to have this much love trapped up or am I blessed
Not ready for a relationship but ready for a love a trust an understanding
Ready to be appreciated and feel outstanding
Someone to keep it funky w/ at the end of the day
Showing real feelings and not the fake love I’ve been portrayed
At this point now my thoughts are scattered
Ig it’s cool noone knows so it doesn’t matter

You have to let it go
If you do not let it go your soul will not grow
Your mind will not flourish or expand
And you’ll always end up with the empty hand
Never forget but always forgive
The pureness in your soul will outlive
this is for you
It’s time to get out walk away from the blue
You do not need anyone to make you whole
Growth does not always start off as a stroll
Self love will be the best love
No love will compare no matter how hard you push or shove
Be the greatest you can be
Challenges may come but you will not flee
Live to reach your dreams
Push no matter how far it seems
Live and love your life like it’s the last day living it
I know the pain is excruciating but you have to fight quite a bit
This is me telling you that you can not quit
This is far from the end
This pain is simply where you begin

Here I go again
A feeling I said I’d end
But it has started over and here I begin
Same concept different feeling different person
Here goes the cycle but each time it worsens
I’ve stumbled across someone so unique
Someone with an outstanding physique
Looking at you on a screen and not even in physical form
There was something she adorn
Yes she’s still shy
But the thought of you takes her high
Still no response for it
You just give her a boost in confidence
No clue what makes you so special in her eyes
Feeling as if your the real and not in disguise
Cause after all the **** ups you may be the prize
Need me a you day part two
But the feeling is so different yes this is true
I desperately want to get to know you
Maybe cause you’re so different from anyone that I knew
I can feel it but to find it out I don’t know what to say or do

Take the risk or lose the chance
Going for what I want I’m not too advanced
Day to day I try to boost my confidence
But I just find myself floating in and out of consciousness
As One minute I want to be alone
And The next I want to express all the love that Hasn’t been shown
But Imma *******
You don’t have to tell me it’s embedded deep down in my soul
Ill tell you I’m here
The next day I’ll disappear
I am a broken individual yes I know
But love heals all wounds if you didn’t know
I have so much love for myself
But if I could just share it with someone else
Someone who won’t smother me when I’m low
Someone who actually understands me and doesn’t put on a show
Cause then I’ll turn into a ****
And now you yelling I ain ****
When I told you from the start
I will tear your heart apart
You moved this way to fast
Now you see it didn’t last
Had to leave you in my past
My love life is trash
Now don’t text or call my phone
Imma end up leaving you alone
These are just some feelings off the dome
To tell you I’m not made a stone

Strip down till I’m naked
strip down to my core
I can’t take it anymore
being alone
no emotional support no back bone
Strip me down till I find myself
Till I see the wealth
Till I see myself as Important
And to someone’s love I can be absorbent
Can I soak up all your love
Would you fit me like a glove
My love why couldn’t you come out from hiding
This lonely coaster I’m tired of riding
My love still dormant
Find me and of my love I can be your informant
I have loads of love to give
I keep it deep down which is no way to live
I walk around saying could it be you
No way it could be true
Every person that wants me is no good
Or do I only feel that way cause I don’t open up when I should
I’ll never find nobody just right for me
No one is different same faces are all I see
If I see someone different it’ll be difficult for me to get
When it comes to flirting or simply talking I just don’t have the wits
When I meet you I’ll say Sorry in advance I’m really shy
Don’t ask me why
Oh love I don’t know who you are
But I’ll know it’s you cause you’ll shine like a star
Ill look at you and I see a different mind
God to conversate with you I want to intertwine
I wanna know you
Know what you like to do
Peek inside to see how you feel
Listening to you speak asking if this is real
Ready for you to slide in my life
Cause I’m getting to old for lonely nights
I want a love that sets my heart on fire
Waiting for you to be my only desire
and for you to take me higher

Dreams they grow more wild every night
Other things may be blurry but your face is so clear so bright
You smile still so huge so sweet
Especially when our eyes meet
But that's only in my dreams
They say that dreams are supposed to be signs but in reality what does it mean
I have dreams where you're crazy wild in love with me
But that will never be
I'd be a liar if I claimed I haven't missed you after all this time
But we've been apart too long to rewind
I know this may sound stupid but I still have hope
But these dreams of you do make me mope
I can't even tell anyone how much I miss you and it's sad
The time and emotions that I put into you sometimes makes me mad
I've never been more open with a person like I was with you
When you said right person wrong time I believed it was true
When you kissed my forehead and promised me you'd leave her for me
I believed in everything we could be
But the funny thing is that promise never came true
Even though I put my entire heart into you
I won't tell a single lie I fell in love you had me shook
It was my heart you took
But when it got harder to vent
I started writing you poems and you understood what my words really meant
I remember when you said you couldn't go on and hurt me like this
I may have been hurt but to see you put me In total bliss
I wrote you a poem that I listed every emotion and feeling for you to see
I thought when you read it you would truly see me
But slowly in time I wanted you more and more
And you just couldn't open the door
I remember when you said I knew what I signed up for when we started this thing
But I didn't imagine it to be just a winter fling
I didn't talk to you for weeks my heart  cracked
Hurting so bad To my ex I ran right back
Cried to her about how much I wanted you and how hurt I was
When she asked why you ain't want me all I could s ay was because....

she know imma just leave
While she steady begging please
And she just wanna be good to me
But I can't just let it be
She just wanna listen to my problems
She just find out how to solvem
She's all up in her feels
While I'm steady tryna heal
She tryna figure what's my deal
I ain't got no heart that's on the real
She told me that I need to chill
I ain't wanna hurt her but now I gotta go in for the ****
Don't understand how she got all these feelings
While I'm breaking down from healing
Tired of doing the girls I know I don't want so wrong
Waiting for the right female to come along
I just wanna love
Wanna be high off of you like a drug
Want that love that's with all of my heart
Real **** that won't tear apart
Wanna be with someone where i can be me
I can be completely open and honest be free
I wanna fall in love with a real one
Just f/w one person and be done
I want to show all my affection
Be with someone who takes me in the right direction
Loving you lowkey
cause I don't want nobody to see
You all me