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Lendon Partain Mar 2013
Gardening.
4.
Years old.
Gardening.
24.
Years old.
20.
Year Annuity.
Lendon Partain Mar 2013
Oh dove,
How your nerves tug.
As you pick and *****.

Dove how you symbolize love.
How your neck is ringed, split.

Dove like two halves, are separate.
Head. Heart. Mind.

Dove. They are not as you wish.
The two forever entangle sinew.
Intertwine.
Lendon Partain Mar 2013
Wanted to get drunk today.
WANTED TO WRITE TEN POEMS.
None of this happened, but the postman brought letters.
I opened them.

Skin felt absent on the occipital lobe.
Where amber, silica, sconce, crackle, glass exploded.
Lifted pillow 'bove my head.
Gravity took its power. Hold, sand shard dust and vase piece,
in my bed.

Wanted to sit in the park.
WANTED TO MAKE TEN ******* POEMS.
Needed a six foot tall model by my side,
in the windy park in the sunlight.

Children needed to dance around.
Wanted to see them puke up happiness.

On swingsets/marygorounds.

Wanted to be their fathers.
WANTED TO BEAT UP THEIR FATHERS POEMS.
Wanted to the cops to catch me.
Slaughter pigs, drink their blood.

Wanted lost in wanting.
WANTED TO BE BETWEEN HER LONG SOOTHING POEMS.
Wanted to clutch pretty.
Needed something like love...

or like drunk.

Needed to buy a forty today.
NEEDED TO COUGH UP WORD THROAT.
80 will do. If you have the proof
This didn’t happen. Instead,

I
Sat
Inside
And
Choked
On
My
Own
Enunciated
Emaciated
Words.

The poems never come out right anyways.
Lendon Partain Mar 2013
Some of the
Most important
Words I've read
Have been on very
Small
Sheets
Of paper

The greatest
Joys
I've felt
From
Tiny
Humans

The vast Brings most pain
Atom bombs
Titanic sinkings
Power plants meltdown
War
Armies
Large stupid men
Killing






Of No Consequence.
Lendon Partain Mar 2013
My world changed.
Now. I. am.
Dis- inherit.

More like the unwanted
guest,
in
a party for yourself.

That un wanted
is always
you.

Banners can say your name.
One thousand times.
Screaming.

Out of skyscrapers, bungee jumping
from space shuttles.

Saltating, from your inner
lung meat.
Banners, with names, can only spittle lies.

Now unwanted I wanna leave,
get out,
only 3 more miserly months
of a kingdom of intellectual
gods and tzars.
screaming my party name,
but I.
I.
gone.


I am sitting
While I'm grieving
and admitting in my seat
clenching to be let out
breaking cracking/gnashing teeth
left alone. all wanted
left to brain rot
but forced to sponge
learning what i want in
learning my ashcans full
i am done
I will. remain. despondent.
I wont apply my neurons
motor-sensory illusion
for math demagogues
what the ****
crust me over
cut my brain-case
destroy all brain
function and matter
grey dissolve to black
and white every *******
shade inside
cephalic
meat bowel

Lifeboats float back up to the top, after
re-inflated, I breathe air once again. My
retinas detect the light coming from
packets of waves emitting from the shore.
I float back up from the cold sea to the rock.
Alive.
This is about my last three months in college. Some of the absolute dumbest people I ever met finished college with me :/ Whats that say about me....

Saltating- Synonym Jumping
Lendon Partain Mar 2013
Color blind in a paint storm.
The beauty of the world
is a mystery hue.
False
Breaths of
Honesty.
I only see in greys and blues.

Press your eyes against
the spectrum.
It will only help to confuse your mind.
Try as hard,
as you will son.
Never again will the sun light your sky.

Walking up to a
street light.
They've all got problems of their own.
No
one
watches.
As i cross those white lines.
Now my souls on Charon's boat.

The world's all a stage, that I cannot see.
I hear things I Smell things and I even bleed.
Problems become me, my skin's now rusting.
A robot, a lost ship, a chains broken link.

We all got a couple chips in our shoulders,
some people carry smaller weights, some carry boulders.
But either way, we are all the same, our names are not different.
Yet we change and what for.
It's so mundane.

Because dancing ain't dancing till you lose your feet,
and colors aren't fading till you can't see straight.
We all take for granted the world and it's credits,
the picture ends, the sun sets, and none of it mattered.

A painting ain't painted till a bucks in it's place,
a song ain't a song till it's radio played.
The fact of the matter is life is a train,
that we all must get on but most of us don't take.

I'm lucid now white as ghost.
All for what now.
A disaster has happened.
I can see sundowns.
Forever I'm fading.
Somethings gone wrong.
These fields now of colors are all,
mine,
to touch.
This is a story of a blind man becoming blind, bitter, then dead.
Lendon Partain Mar 2013
I'm going to build regret like the east Berlin wall.

I'm gonna keep each side apart like the solstice does to fall.

I ******* hate wanting to be like you.

I hate that no one's like me
but they lie and say they wanna be too,
Or they say they admire me.
And stab me in my meat.

I want the moon to hold promise
Cause the sun dries me out

I wish it to bleach my skin till i cant walk out in sunlight.


I have destroyed everything I’ve worked for.
My hearts built for America.
It's not for art. Its for apathy.
When i have a chance to make it different i destroy everything.
I am the killer of families.
I hurt myself emotionally to death.
And the world would be better off without me.
I've ****** everything.
every way you acted towards me ****** it as well.

Sorry:
I'm sorry i let you down.
Sorry I’m a *****.
Sorry that i cant take it.
I'm just a ****.

And i control everything that happens to me.
I can only act and that should be all that matters.

I want the world to end sometimes.
Cause i just make it worse everyday.
I don’t know if I’ve ever felt as bad as I do now.
I think that you sounded like the most destroyed person I’ve affected.
And none of that was my intention.
I don't have a mean bone in my body.
But i have a selfish one.
And one that apparently doesn’t think.
Bones that split promises into compound fractures.


I'm just so sorry.
You're better than this.
I don't know why I’m not better than what i did.
I am the bad guy.
I am the guy who will finish last,
make everyone hate him,
Then **** himself.

I cant take it back
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