and i will wish for you every night and every day

since you left
i’ve started
listening to more of the bands you like
watching the shows you always talked about
romanticising everyday a little bit more
writing about you loads more in my journal
started looking for you in everyone
(we know i looked for you in everyone from the very start)
started smoking your ****** tobacco
i even started drinking coffee
i’d do anything to feel like i was close to you

it takes everything in me
not to show up at your door
with tears in my eyes
begging you to come back
but then you get mean
and i have to tell myself
i don’t care about you
that i hate you
that i can’t forgive you
but we both know
that you were forgiven the second it happened
and that all i want is to be with you