I miss you every day
You were my first
And you were right for me
You gave me so much love
And I miss it every **** day
My situation was bad
And I tried so hard
And then I broke
I got hurt so I pushed you
as far away as possible
Because I didn't want to hurt you more
And I didn't want to get hurt
And I was dealing with so much loss
I didn't realize how much you meant to me
But you grounded me
You helped me so much and saved my life
You were one of the only ones who cared
But by the time I realized it it was to late
But god you are the one person
who makes me so happy
I do want to talk
Even if that's all we can do right now
You are my human

they say be original
to be you
to not change or stray from the light within
but god that is **** hard
like I want to be a great person
one that I like
but what dose "be me" even mean
I get that we are all born original
and we don't want to die being a copy
but what if I want to copy the great people out there
be kind
be smart
how would I learn if I didn't copy little things every day
from the hair styles to the single smile  
I want to be like a collage
some one who builds myself
take something out of everything
maybe we need to stop trying to be original and impress
start trying to look at others and
admire the great things that already exist

I've kept every letter
Every poem
Your special I want you to know
No matter what you go through
you are so strong
Strong and amazing
I made a mistake
pushing you away
You saved my life
In the most litteral of of terms
I've been blade to skin
was taking my final thoughts
I imagined me hurting you by leaving
And I stopped
And cried
About how sad I would be if you left
My moon and stars would fade
Because I loved every spec of your being
And I wanted to be yours
And I ****** it up
You did nothing wrong
my sick brain got so turned around
I pushed you away I
just want for you to be
Fulfilled by your own life
And not self injure
And not die
I want you here
Even if here is with someone else

I miss them and there beautiful self
I miss the notes
I miss the hugs
I miss the light kisses
I miss the conversation
I miss us
I just don't know if you miss me