It's like being in a circus,
People come to see me smile.
The girl that doesn't want to,
Yet she smiles all the time.
They gasp if they see the smile fading,
Like it does from time to time.
When they are not looking,
The mouth doesn't tell any lies,
Because it is too busy,
Catching teardrops from her eyes.

A heart in a chest,
Desperate to get out.
Planning an escape, mapping a route.
It doesn't realise it is blessed,
It is safe hidden in a cage.
One two three, one two three,
Beat by beat, closer to being free.
In a battle with time and old age.
The taste of victory must be sweet.
It keeps fighting, keeps hitting,
The heart is stubborn, never quitting.
Just one more day, one more heartbeat.

The smile that is always big,
Even when you're feeling sick.
The excitement in your eyes.
The way you can always see through my lies.
Your cute yet a bit dorky hair,
It suits you perfectly I swear.
You make my eyes open, now I finally see,
You make me happier than I thought I could be.

When I cry you hold me tight,
And try to make it all alright.
You smell unexplainable sweet,
You're the only thing I desperately need.
I love you more than a heart can take,
My love is so big it can never be fake.
My one, my only, my love.

I beg of you, please ruin me.
Take me high for I want to fall.
Crush me like the rain on the sidewalk.
Turn out the light that nourishes my very being.
For I would rather loose in this wicked cupids game.
For I cannot live in a fair world
Where love is planned and earned.
I urge you to breathe for the tears.
See the beauty in a scar.
Notice the hearts that beat black
Dull; the world that is filled with red.

I never thought that you would cheat,
Now I dread seeing you walk the street,
After our final meet,
I will surely stumble on my feet,
My tears will seem so bittersweet,
Yet will your hand rise as an awkward greet?
While you secretly steal my dejected heartbeat,
You are going to be my defeat,
Along with my conceit,
You are the crack in my hearts concrete,
The hurt you caused is on repeat,
The memory I wish I could delete,
The shadow of a person who once made me complete.

My dreams will die, my heart will bleed,
A little love is all I need.
My heart is sore
I need all that love and more.
A love so big, it is yet to be found,
Only that love will my heart unbound.
Maybe under all this pain and all these tears,
Lies a person who is feisty and fierce.

This was never me,
This was never who I wanted to be.

I'm sitting here waiting for you,
Sitting here is all I can do.
I'm sitting here wishing for you to come home,
I'm sitting here every night all alone.
I'm sitting here thinking of you every hour,
Trying to remember your favourite flower.

I guess it still hasn't reached my head,
That you are gone, that you're actually dead.
Nevermore am I gonna see your face,
Or listen to your hearts beating pace.

I'll wait forever.

Thoughts running through,
My body and mind split in two,
My mind never still always in motion.
My head is a mess like a storm on the ocean.
I feel like a fish caught in a net,
I need all the help I can get.
My body is still, almost dead,
Just laying here hopeless in my bed.
My body and my mind are torn,
All life in my eyes are gone.

It isn't humane,
To leave me locked up by this chain.
These links of memories that just won't fade,
Death by blade, I would trade.
I'm locked up with the key hanging loosely around my neck,
I am only described by the word train-wreck.
The key is heavy pulling my head down,
No air in my lungs, am I going to drown?
I'm dying in my own sea of despair,
I have no air nor thoughts to spare.

I give and i give and i give,
I give it all away.
My soul, my life, my heart.
You take and you take and you take,
You take it all away,
Piece by piece you remove it all.
But i forgive and i forgive and i forgive,
I forgive you for giving nothing in return,
Who needs a soul, a life, a heart?
I die and i die and i die,
I die from the inside and out, slowly fading away.
My hope ran through my fingers like sand,
Now my last precious piece is gone.
I did not run out of time,
I ran out of love to give.

One decision and I'm slipping away,
No more crying, no more tears,
Just the hole of nothing absorbing me in.
I go out the way I went in hopeless and lost,
Alone and empty, crying.
I was never meant to be more than a lesson,
I was meant to do, to be what I am.
I stopped being human the day I lost the meaning of me.
I'm dead no longer just gone.
Don't cry, never cry,
I was nothing more than a broken heart never to be fixed.

I am not lonely, I am just alone,
I am excited to be on my own.
I am tough and I will get by,
Even if it is just me, myself and I.
I have all I need, I need no more,
No more broken hearts left to restore.
Is it to remain unclear?
What it is that I fear.
Is it to trust or to rejoice?
Or is it losing my choice, my own voice?

I could disappear and never come back,
Without a soul would even keep track.
The thought is not to bare,
Nobody would actually care.
Maybe once a year,
The people I have dear,
They would need a saviour,
Or just a favour.
They would ask themselves 'where did she go',
The girl that couldn't say no.

I'm looking at the world through blurry eyes,
Everybody is selfish trying to hit the big prize.
Why don't they enjoy the moment in which we live?
Everyday we get minutes to give.
Minutes to care,
And minutes to share,
All the joys that we receive.
These are the moments that should make us believe.
Believe in kindness,
And believe in love,
To believe that not all comes from above.

There is a stranger in my mirror,
So unknown, yet so familiar.
Behind the face is sadness and sorrow,
But the face only shows a happiness you cannot borrow.
At home she silently cry,
She wants no pity, that's the reason why.
She covers up the puffy eyes and red cheeks,
Nowhere in hell will she look weak.
The dust finally cleared,
Her friends are gone, her family disappeared.
She is always the for others,
But helping her no one bothers.

This is it, say the word you've rehearsed,
It is time to stop living in reverse.
Defy his gaze,
And say that magic phrase.
Do it now and do it fast!
Do it finally at last.
Scream with all your might,
Gather every bit that want to fight.
Last chance, let it slip.
Feel the blood go drip from your lip.
Time nearly stops moving oh so slow,
Time to wake up, time to say "no"

My lonesome heart
I try to paint my heart red,
I use the blood that it has bled.
Before it was filled with dread,
But now it is simply dead.
Sewn together with some thread.
Because it was torn and spread,
By the things you said.
With lies you had filled my head,
You had me so mislead.

The feeling of your lips gently placed upon mine,
The face that makes me in you confine.
The shiver only your touch can give,
It is moments like these I want to relive.
The sparkle in your eye when you say you'll love me 'till the end,
You own my heart, it's no longer for rent.

Thoughts running through,
My body and mind split in two,
My mind never still always in motion.
My head is a mess like a storm on the ocean.
I feel like a fish caught in a net,
I need all the help I can get.
My body is still, almost dead,
Just laying here hopeless in my bed.
My body and my mind are torn,
All life in my eyes are gone.

Always trying to say and do,
Whatever i feel is right for you.
Putting myself in second place,
Who am i, am i being erased?
I am desperate to please,
Afraid you might leave.

Your happiness comes at a cost,
Losing myself,
Slowly getting lost.
But it's so easy to deny,
When it's time to say good-bye,
At last i take my things and pack,
Hoping to find my way back.

When I slit my wrist,
I think of when we kissed.
When I cover up my scars,
I think of the future that was ours.
When I cry myself to sleep,
I think of the memories we keep.
But now that we are done,
I'm afraid you were my the one.
It still hurts far too much,
That I have felt your last touch.
Just put your hand in mine,
And I swear I'll be fine.

The smile that is always big,
Even when you're feeling sick.
The excitement in your eyes.
The way you can always see through my lies.
Your cute yet a bit dorky hair,
It suits you perfectly I swear.
You make my eyes open, now I finally see,
You make me happier than I thought I could be.

When I cry you hold me tight,
And try to make it all alright.
You smell unexplainable sweet,
You're the only thing I desperately need.
I love you more than a heart can take,
My love is so big it can never be fake.