A bite of the nail
Three heartbeats
A stare then a glare
Four more
An empty parking lot
And flashlights
Blazing
Across the dust
A flicker of the lash
Doom doom doom
Again and again
Something swifts
Something drifts
Clockwise
In an unperceived motion
Something throughout the molecules
And particules
Underneath the thin air
Slightly above the tire prints
A feeling in the gut
In the brain
In the heart
Aghast by the ghostly ghouls
Shivers
Travelling
Through every pore
Unsnarling
Little towers on the back
On the neck
Molten faces
Figures
Mannequins
Melting
Molasses
Everywhere
A sick kind of sweetness
Strangling
Suffocating
With a smile
As wide
As the door
Opened
On the second floor
The one
That was never shut
That one
People claimed was open
Specially
Ocaisonally
But was only just broken

Laying on the ground somewhere
Though I don't really suppose it's the where I am intended to be
Is it, or not?
Music, music, music
And I feel so tiny
Teeny-weeny
The finest flake of sugar
I do not feel my fingertips
Nor the top of my toes
I'm frozen, on a hot summer day
I'm not melting
I do not think I'm here anymore,
Peculiarity fills the cavities
Of my unconsciousness
I am
In a stranger's body, in a stranger's room
On a stranger's fuzzy floor
I hear voices, whispers above the paces
Melodies
I recognize these sounds, their presence
Yet I feel unexistent at that specific time
In this determined place
Drifting, twirling
Hazy hazy day
For a moment,
Just a moment
A glimpse
Then, as small as I am
Ants round up around my crystallized edges
And bring me back
Where my eyes
Fall and fall into a void
Where my ears see popping vivid colors
Blinding
Where something dries itself just under my nose
Where my fingers are in motion again
And the tip of my toe draws circles of vapor on the hose

If eyes could evacuate part of the sadness
Through tears
I would like to fill mine in a cup
And drink a sip every night before going to sleep
A time where my lids are hung up to the ceiling
And my ears deafened by the silence
The stars won't shine
And pools of salty water would soak the pillow
Or the bed
Or wherever my head would have landed
Turning, stopping, turning, knocking
Aspiring, hopelessly to come to an end
Assuming the best spot keeps the brain firmly closed
Thinking of that spot
I am still thinking
Depriving
And diving back into the loop
Scarlet roots pulsating  
Microscopic heart in each zone
Patches of darkness on every side
Gradually dipped into the abyss
Of auto-destruction
Drank enough
I knock on the crystal-clear glass
Droplets fall on the middle of my forehead
To the edges, temples
And melt with the dried, former crisped layer
The cup is desolated
I lay it on my face
Deranging the eyelashes
Spasms of fluttering
And I burst, into laughter
Giggling lava
The recipient quivers, trembles
And falls onto the solid surface
Where slightly before shattering
It stood, there, a micro-second, caressing the ground
It seemed the steadiness of it, did not like the gentle stroke
Or maybe the fine glass just harmed itself willingly
And I watched the splinters and fragments
Bouncing and covering
Breathing their last breath
Losing their transparent color
And I cried again
Willingly
Not only because I somehow helped the cup to brake
The floor starred
Little faces,
Grinning
Decomposing
All were mine

Oh. Why.
Simply, solely why
Why why why why why
Why why why why why
A brain filled with big, bushy questions
All summarized by why
Why this, why that
Why me
Why me
Why me
I am aware, fully, completely aware, it is not just precisely me, specifically
Yet all my concerns, are me, mine
Oh yes, selfishness
Arrogance, little piece of high-nosed nonsense
You talked and talked
About what you believed in
What you thought of
Ideals, theories
Ha-ha-ha, they laughed
As if they were somehow understanding
Receiving the message
Bip-bip
Brain in a mush of stupidness
Of ignorance
But you're worse
You are so sensible to little useless, easily-perceived reflexes
Realizing that their blank eyeballs were staring at you
Billiard *****
Motionless, waiting solemnly for their turn to shine and roll
On their gossips
And you joined their stupid cascade
Of mascarade
Because you cannot, not listen
And hide information, in the pockets of your ear
Because you were made to shut that ******* mouth of yours
Because all you said was a mess
Of words
All you were ever destined to be was chaos
You were always meant to be disastrous
And you shook the wrong things
The wrong people
The ones with enormous plastic globes just underneath their foreheads
Boundless mouths, that stretched words till the capability of visibility
And cosmic nostrils that sniffed your brains out, till all you were left was a black hole drifting into their credibility

Am I two?
Am I one?
At both of my hands, I stare
With both of my eyes
I walk with both of my feet
I think with more than a brain
Burst!
Brain
Melt!
Crack my head open
Leave me here and go there
Evaporate into the atmosphere
Burn me to the ground
Let me turn to ashes
Let me be part of the wind
I could merge in between billion different
particules
If I concentrated hard enough
You, me, Jelly matter, would concentrate too
I would freeze, I would forget, I would turn crazier than my crazy sanity
It's a spiral, a never ending circle,
It goes on and on
There is no gravity
In what I've become
No steadiness
No platform
Nothing to hold on to
Everything is abstract
I'm floating in a world of black bubbles
Or maybe the bubbles are transparent
My dark, scary world
Soft, foam, everything dissipates to the touch, to a glare
A single deep breath intake, inhale the whole world, bare
Too much of me in me
Less of me outside of me
Raw vocal cord, sore gut
A belly button, turning, dancing
Crafting it's way through shapeless bones
To where?
Where from?
Where to?

Would you understand a feeling you never felt?
There are different types of sadness
Multiple reasons to shed a tear
Uncountable causes to flush into sobs
And still you want to know, you would like to understand
But even if you did, you would not
You are not in my head
And thus you find it easy for me to run away from a monster
The monster is a tick
It plunges it's way through your brains, parasite
Eating your nerves from the inside out
Till you don't feel anything anymore
A slap on the face is a poke on the shoulder
Sweet words taste like sand paper, just like another thousand curses
Sand paper, cardboard
You could crush my head between two rocks
Bath in the midst of my red blood
And still I would laugh at you
Not a genuine laugh
A static laugh, lifeless
My blood would giggle
My smashed eyes would stutter
My teeth would dance in a circle
And my scorched lungs
Would squeak and squeak
Till both of your ears go numb.  

The monster still hides beneath a pile of broken bones
Lift one here, another there
The world stops spinning
As you narrow your eyes against the glare