Come to me in the dead of night when the neighbors are sleeping when my mind stops thinking. Come to me when the ***** has been long, and strong. Come to me when I won't remember the feeling of you stealing my heart

You
Are
Splinters
Sharp points
Bothersome
Pluck you out
But you dig in deeper
Always leave a piece behind
To fester and inflame
That's what I get for walking barefoot
My hands wanting to touch everything
Feel the grain
Feel the contours
Of you
Cuts
And scratches
And bruises
And splinters
That's what I get for wanting you.....

I do not belong here
A feeling I've had so long it is as natural as breathing
I wander through the day to day
As a ghost in purgatory
Not within not without
I try to blend in
But I am always as a tourist is my own city
As if it were a foreign land and I do not speak the language
Yet I can make my way
Know the side route and short cut
But I still struggle to feel connected to the city which has been my home my whole life
LA doesn't reject you, it just never cared

Perhaps you took it with you when you went away maybe it slipped into your bags your pockets your hands or maybe I forgot it, lost in your distractions, maybe I just left it lying there, unknowingly, maybe it just never was... But I felt that maybe, there was that something, there was ... that, and it didn't go away when you left. It lingers now, burning holes in my heart, my soul, my mind, my inspiration.....

It's creeping in that sinking feeling, where I feel you gone, where I know you were never here, when I know it was all a dream, and I should have never let you in. And to contact you, to spin the thread, keep knitting this web of delusion and deceit. Not enough not enough never enough you will never be enough I will never ever have you

*******
For your enigmatic, complicated and distant ways
******* for making me question myself
******* for making me forget what I'm worth
******* for making me cry
******* for leaving without saying goodbye
Then coming back without a reason
You had your chance
You could have had me
We could have been something
If even only temporary
You left without trying
Without a word of goodbye
And now your expect me to come running
Without any reason why
*******

I know you're there
Although I can't see your face
You’re the one that cares the one that stays
You won't leave
Emotionally, mentally, physically
If only to close my eyes
Without the fear you'll be gone when I awaken