He loved his new girlfriend's collard greens and yams. His other girlfriend had only fed him spam. His other girlfriend had always put his spam in a bowl. With only one little dinner roll. His other girlfriend had always treated him like a dog. His new girlfriend brought him sunshine instead of a fog.
Jody was one cool cat. Sporting his white applejack hat. Sprouting street corner philosophy. Singing show tunes on one knee. Putting his jar out for tips. While drinking wine in little sips.
He saw her from the top of a hill As he stood among the daffodils. He hair looked so sleek. As she washed it in the creek. She was a lovely country girl. And he wanted to be a part of her world.
Wood popping in the fireplace. Eating homegrown food at dinner and saying grace. Baking bread on the old wood stove. Picking peaches from the grove. Taking baths in the old washtub. Heading to the creek for a scub. Working hard from dawn to dusk. Going to church on Sunday was a must.
They were in a bad neighborhood. When they got attacked by some thugs. Even though she was his heart. He let her put up a good front. While he got a running start. He left her to take the heat like a sap. He was just a cowardly piece of crap.
He knelt before her and started to bawl. She said, if you want me back. You will have to beg and crawl. He did as he was told. For him her love was worth more than gold.
Baron was hiking in the mountains so full of cheer. When a grizzly bear approached him, he offered the bear a beer. The grizzly bear became ******* because he was offered a Budweiser. If he had been offered a Heineken, he would have been much nicer. And then there wouldn't have been a grizzly bear attack crisis.
They were in a glass caged zoo. When an earthquake shattered the glass through and through. They were having such fun. Before the animals put them on the run. I know that this may sound crude. But the animals found them to be tasty food.
In a crystal ball, she sees it all. Wonderful things big and small, The colors of fall, Blue skies and waterfalls, Happy children at play, People living the godly way.
He had a lot of charm. But he was like a dark storm. There was more than one stage. The way that he could go into a rage. The ladies had better run. Taking his physical abuse will not be fun.
She counts sheep. And then falls into a deep sleep. He wakes her up for a midnight talk. He just wants to share his thoughts. She says, I have to get up early for work hon. Take your **** back to sleep. I will talk to you in the mon.
Delmont was just like a bear. There wasn't a place that he didn't have hair. All over his body he was a super hair grower. To remove all of the hair it would take a lawnmower. A lot of his dates were turned off. Shedding hair sometimes made them cough.
John Travolta boogying in Saturday Night Fever. Donna Summer was one of the greatest Disco Divas. KC had one of the best bands in the land. The Bee Gees was a group with many fans.
Muscle cars, double knit outfits, and big hair. Kids grooving without a care. American Bandstand and Soul Train were on the move. And looking good was the rule.
On an autumn day pretty as you please. Lucy the basset hound could be found chasing falling leaves. Wagging her tail high in the air. Frolicking around without a care.
A dog's life must be good. All Lucy has to worry about is chasing leaves. And crapping in the woods.
The bed is cold where she use to lay. There is silence where everything use to be so happy and gay. The moon always shone brighter when she looked his way. Everything was sweeter day by day. Now that she has gone away. He feels like it is doomsday.
He had I love you wrote in the sky. Just to show her that his love for her would never die. He got down on bended knee and asked her to marry him. But she told him that she had a thing for her best girl Kim.
He felt that she had led him on. There was now darkness where light had shone. She said, I'm sorry that I gave you the blues. But Kim and I are old down low news.
She wanders through the night alone. Wondering why she ever left home. But things had gone so wrong. Daily life made her want to moan. She thought that it was better to just drift. And not worry about the what-ifs.
Charity was a girl with a lot of wrestling skill. When her boyfriend ****** her off. She went in for the ****. She drop kicked him because of his foolish cheating ways. She didn't believe in taking his crap on any day.
The relationship had lost its charm. Now she felt like she was in a windstorm. She had become one sad chick. He had begun to make her sick. She felt like she needed emergency relief. From a boyfriend who was a **** the life out of a person thief.
Evelyn was all that and a bag of chips. She worked really hard for her tips. She would hustle until weak in the knees. To make sure that all her customers were pleased. Evelyn was a waitress with a heart of gold. When God made Evelyn, God broke the mold.
She thought that without him. She would cease to exist. She lived for his touch. And the taste of his kiss. And to be forever in his arms. This was her only wish.
I love you more than the morning loves the sun. I love you more than ponies like to run. I love you more than mountains love streams. I love you more than the moon loves moonbeams.
I love you more than the clouds love rain. I love you more than tracks love trains. I love you more than the desert loves sand. I love you more than God loves man.
Sweet as a candy cane. A tongue tickle from sweetheart in the rain. Tongue tips touching and flicking. Sweet taste of raindrops lip licking. Eye love dancing face to face. This is how sweet love tastes.
He was in such shock. When a tomcat ****** on his UPS box. He had waited for the package for a long time. But the **** was a bad sign. He sprayed the box with febreze. And then proceeded to open his box. Filled with Parmesan cheese.
He was drinking coffee out of a cup. When his garbage disposal started acting up. He stuck his hand down into the garbage disposal to find out what had gone wrong. The garbage disposal started mysteriously working again on its own. He lost four fingers and a thumb that day. He screamed, hollored, and cried in the ambulance on the highway.
A great beauty has passed from this life. Of good times and sometimes toil and strife. Some will say that she went to a better place. Look at the blue sky or white clouds, you will still see her face.
Movements like a gazelle in flight. Hair that shone like gold on a moolit night. Eyes that could touch your soul. And essence like that of a red rose.
Farrah, you fought hard to stay here on earth with us. But when God calls you, go you must. Whenever we feel a summer breeze or April rain. It will seem like you are near. And in our hearts, your memory will always remain dear.
The wind blows free across the sea. A little girl laughs gaily on her father's knee. A bird sings happily in a tree. Love blows free for my love and me.
Deer run free in the fields. Eagles fly free at will. Leaves dance freely in the wind. I will love you freely until life's end.
She was leaning against the rail of a cruise ship. Looking at the beautiful ocean. When out of the water leapt a great white shark. And bit off part of her arm. She had to be rushed to the hospital by helicopter. She was offered a free cruise when she got well.
Homer was a farm boy who loved peanut butter and jelly. And licking whipped cream and Froot Loops off of his girlfriend's belly. One of his favorite places to **** her. Was in a very large chicken coop.
Among all the feathers and chicken ****. Afterwards, they would wash themselves off with Dail Soap and a garden hose. Until they both came out smelling like a lavender rose.
He knew that something just was not quite right. As he tried to hold her in the night. She was so cold to him when he touched her. That he got frostbite. He just had to get out of bed. And drink a Coke to clear his head.
He ****** his wife off and went to bed. And on his soft pillow he laid his head. His wife sneaked into the kitchen after he had gone to sleep. And got back into bed without making a peep. She slammed him on the head with a frying pan. And into the hospital ICU he did land.
Xavier was a hardworking garbage man. He was a superman at lifting those heavy garbage cans. He was well known on his route far and wide. Because in his job, he always took pride. He learned early in life and this I will tell. That whatever job you do, do it well.
He wanted a Florida getaway. But his bills took all of his pay. So he bought a picture of some palm trees. And a CD with sounds of the wind and sea. Got out a few beers. Gave a toast and said cheers.
A ****** took his true love's money. And then made her his honey. He wondered where he went wrong. That she would listen to the ******'s love song. She was just tired of his boring ****. And just wanted to get out of a dull rut.
The wind is blowing softly. The golden sky is calling. Lovers come lay underneath me. And wonders the eyes will see. Nature treasures are everywhere. Happiness fills the air.
She had used a lot of ****. And now she was greeted by the ghost of death. She wanted to run away. But the ghost was not having it this day. She begged the ghost for another chance to do better. But the ghost said, start writing your goodbye letters.
A star has been plucked from the sky. The sky is now dimmer. It happened on June 25th. A day we will always remember.
Never agaain to see Michael's smile light up the skies. Never again to see him moonwalk across the stage as his fans cries. Never again to hear him sing Billie Jean. To the roaring sound of his fans' scraems.
A brother of the sun has been taken away. But in our hearts his music will always stay. Michael Jackson will now dance among the clouds. And in the heavens, you will still hear him singing loud and proud.
Grandpa Jack loved black-eyed peas. He could really slurp down macaroni and cheese. He could eat a whole apple pie. And gnaw on barbecue spare ribs while drinking a large beer mug dry. He loved green apples fresh off the trees. You could smell his green apple farts on the breeze.
Gretchen loved to smoke Cuban cigars. And she liked to hang out at the local bar. She was very good at shooting pool. And all the guys thought that she was really cool. Gretchen was tough as any man. But she ended up married and the sweetest mom in the land.