She thanked the Lord for another song to sing.
For another book to read.
For another flower from seed.
For the warm sunlight.
For another peaceful night.
For another person to love.
For all the stars above.

Willow sat quietly in the night.
The wind whispered her name.
And told her that there was no shame.
Because she was not to blame.
For leaving him because of his cheating ways.
She just had to move forward and look for better days.

He had a lot of charm.
But he was like a dark storm.
There was more than one stage.
The way that he could go into a rage.
The ladies had better run.
Taking his physical abuse will not be fun.

He had just gotten back from the grocery store.
When he dropped a 2 liter Coca Cola bottle on his big toe.
The pain almost made him want to choke.
He was lucky that it wasn't broke.
His girlfriend told him to stop crying like a wimp.
Or she would put him to bed and take his temp.

A ****** took his true love's money.
And then made her his honey.
He wondered where he went wrong.
That she would listen to the ******'s love song.
She was just tired of his boring ****.
And just wanted to get out of a dull rut.

They had rented a home for 30 years.
When the owner decided to kick them out.
And they didn't know what it was all about.
But there was a lesson to be learned.

Sometimes when you rent, you get burned.
If you rent, you don't own.
If you want to be a homeowner.
Take out a loan.

Puddles was a tomcat who wouldn't go outside.
When they opened the door.
He loved to **** on the floor.
He wouldn't use a litter box.

He would crap on the floor just as regular.
As the second hand go around a clock.
His owners tried very hard to train him.
But ******* and crapping on the floor, he did on whims.

It would be nice to live in a land.
Where everyone stayed well.
And donuts never went stale.
A land where everyone thought smart.
And played by the heart.
Where everyone cared for their fellow man and woman.
And strived for peace and a cool drink from a lemonade stand.

He found a wallet full of money.
He was feeling sweeter than honey.
He became bewildered when his conscience said, take the money and run.
Go on a spending spree and have some fun.
He said, conscience you are so full of crap.
You usually tell me to do the right thing.
But you need to shut your thieving trap.

Playing beach volleyball on the sand.
Gloria looked so hot with her California tan.
Being eyeballed by all the guys.
Looking sweeter than apple pie.
Wearing her skimpy bikini.
Prettiest of all the scenery.

He was the vampire king.
And he loved to do his blood thing.
It was no lark.
That he was the ruler of the dark.

He called everything in his kingdom mine.
And he got rid of any other vampires that got out of line.
The prettiest females he wanted to bite.
And cause them such fright.

No one could say that he was nice.
A ****** neck was his spice.
The pretty females best beware.
When he gave them the vampire bloodlust stare.

Her voice is like a song.
That's written on the pages of my heart.
Soft and low.
With a sweet melodic flow.

Each word spoken.
Like a beautiful note.
Straight out of a songbook.
For my heart she wrote.

Voice so sweet.
What a treat.
My heart melts whenever we meet.

60 red roses for 60 beautiful years that they spent together.
60 red roses for making it through all kinds of weather.
60 red roses for 60 years of wonderful love.
60 red roses for 60 years of more happiness than the heavens above.
60 red roses for a loving wife.
60 red roses for a sweetheart for life.

5 more miles to LA.
He had come a long way.
Coming to this beautiful and sunny place.
Is where he always planned to stay.
He was going to make California his home.
He would be very successful.
Because he was smart and strong.

Baron was hiking in the mountains so full of cheer.
When a grizzly bear approached him, he offered the bear a beer.
The grizzly bear became ******* because he was offered a Budweiser.
If he had been offered a Heineken, he would have been much nicer.
And then there wouldn't have been a grizzly bear attack crisis.

It was a great day for a summer stroll.
Just sweetheart, me, and my favorite cane fishing pole.
Looking for a day of fun.
Down at the local fishing pond.

The sun was was warm and the fish were biting great that day.
Enjoying the pond waves ripple and the way the bobber did sway.
Sweetheart was looking very **** in a seductive way.
But all I had on my mind was fish fillet.

Homer was a farm boy who loved peanut butter and jelly.
And licking whipped cream and Froot Loops off of his girlfriend's belly.
One of his favorite places to **** her.
Was in a very large chicken coop.

Among all the feathers and chicken ****.
Afterwards, they would wash themselves off with Dail Soap and a garden hose.
Until they both came out smelling like a lavender rose.

Candice was the Walmart Queen.
This was her favorite scene.
In her Daisy Duke jeans with **** crack showing.
She pranced through the aisles.
Getting stares from the ladies and from the guys she got smiles.

He knew that he had an obligation.
To see that her life was full of satisfaction.
He knew that he needed to treat her well.
And never let their relationship grow stale.
He knew that he had to show her great love.
And bring her more happiness than the stars above.

Camille never let age get in her way.
She could stay on the dance floor from March until May.
You could never tell that she was 70 years old.
She still wore capri pants with blouses of colors bright and bold.
Camille was still very pleasing to the eyes.
She could still attract guys' attention for more than just being wise.

They looked up into the night sky and saw a sign.
One that blew their minds.
They saw two shooting stars.
Racing through the sky so fast.
They knew that their love would always last.
As the shooting stars flew past.

The bed is cold where she use to lay.
There is silence where everything use to be so happy and gay.
The moon always shone brighter when she looked his way.
Everything was sweeter day by day.
Now that she has gone away.
He feels like it is doomsday.

He was the world's stingiest cheat.
He went to funerals just for the eats.
It didn't matter whether he knew the deceased person or not.
He only went for a plate of food that was hot.
No one would ever consider him a good chap.
He was just a stingy piece of crap.

Everything was great it seems.
Because he was living on potato chip dreams.
Sunday night football with glasses of beer.
Brought a whole lot of cheer.
Chasing honies on Saturday night at the local bar.
He was a potato chip eating star.

Night comes to the meadow.
Two lovers entwined in the shadows.
A soft rain begins.
Bringing tingles to the skin.

The air is fresh.
Lovers fest.
A night bird sings.
Bells in the heart ring.

A lover's fling.
Sweet love is the cream.

He remembered when he had it all.
When his head wasn't so bald.
He remembered how she use to run her hands through his hair.
But now there is nothing there.
It feels kind of weird.
Now she has to run her hands through his beard.

A beautiful day is a beautiful day anywhere in the world.
A cool breeze is a cool breeze anywhere in the world.
A bird singing is a bird singing anywhere in the world.
All of these things can be appreciated anywhere in the world.

Our love was whispered on the wind tonight.
Everything was right when we held each other.
So very tight.

Our love was reflected by the moon.
Our song of love.
We could hear the wind croon.

The wind whispered.
Trust your heart.
Go with your felings.
This sweet love you'll always be needing.

We were so close I could feel her heart beating.
See the love and passion in her eyes.
One so lovely in the evening.
And lovelier at sunrise.

Every night before I sleep.
I get down on my knees and pray.
Thanking God for sending your love my way.

Every morning when I open my eyes.
And look at the beautiful sky.
I thank God for another day with you.
A love who makes all my days so fresh and new.

With every breath.
I thank God for a love that's true.
And true love darling is you.

Be very alert when walking in very tall grass.
To what you might see and find.
Because a large slithering venomous creature.
Might sneak up and strike you on the behind.

He was taking a nap in his truck bed in a beautiful wooded area.
When he was awakened by something licking his face.
He thought that it was his dog Bo.
But it was a hungry coyote.
Getting ready to take a bite out of him.
His German Shepherd Bo had cowardly run away.

A tomcat tried to impress a female cat with some dead mice.
He told her that they were good to eat and she said, they might have lice.
If you want to impress me, I will tell you how.
Go to the store and get me some Purina Cat Chow.
Hurry your **** on down to the store and I mean right now.

He remembered how she use to call him hon.
When they had their rendezvous at the swimming pond.
Skinny dipping and dripping wet.
******* was in the plans, this you could bet.
Two lovers enjoying life free as birds.
Floating on the breezes were their love words.

Sweet Jean was smart and keen.
But it would take a bulldozer to remove her from the slot machines.
When her paper money began to fry like lard.
Then the casino slots started eating her debit card.

One Saturday morning, Garrett was in a feisty mood.
And to his barber, he became very rude.
I'm partially bald and my haircut should be half priced he said.
The barber told him, I don't charge by the amount of hair.
I charge by the head.

A sweetheart is one of God's greatest creations.
Who brings to the heart.
A sweet sensation.

She makes everyday worth living.
Her love is always there for the giving.
A love that makes sorrow take flight.
That lights up the heart.
Like fireflies light up the night.

He was low flame but Twila was raging fire.
She would **** him so hard that the passion made him cry.
Twila loved to ride him on top.
She was the ******* cream of the crop.
After love making, he would have a silly grin
While she was just getting her second wind.

She was leaning against the rail of a cruise ship.
Looking at the beautiful ocean.
When out of the water leapt a great white shark.
And bit off part of her arm.
She had to be rushed to the hospital by helicopter.
She was offered a free cruise when she got well.

He was the one who was serious.
And she was witty and curious.
But she touched his spirit like no other.
And their relationship was smooth as coconut butter.
When he was with her, his soul flew high.
And their love touched the sky.

My friend Ken lives in a world of sin.
Slicked back hair, pencil thin mustache, and a goatee on his chin.
Drives a big candy red caddy and lives in a shanty.
Spends his days trying to get into all the ladies' *******.

He doesn't know the meaning of work.
You might call him the town's biggest ****.
Close your windows and lock your doors.
Before he tries to make your lady his and not yours.

Darling, the Jamaican night was sizzling.
And so were you in your one piece bathing suit.
Looking delicious like pineapple fruit.

The brilliant stars dotted the sky.
Beads of pearls dripped down your face.
Sweet coconut milk on your lips I could taste.

A lady of high fashion.
A white sand beach.
A night filled with passion.
You and I climbing love's highest peak.

He made a mistake and called his girlfriend a heartless witch.
It was no mistake when she threw him into a ditch.
She said, you and I are through.
And then kicked him in the head with her stiletto shoe.
It was too bad that his head landed in dog poo.
And she ruined her nice stiletto shoe.

His heart got such a thrill when he saw this lovely cutie.
She was such a mysterious beauty.
She had straight dark black hair and almond eyes.
And a beautiful brown body that looked so hot under the blue skies.
She had a pretty face that could make a person fall instantly in love.
And sing happily forever like a white dove.

Some guys were very jealous and envious too.
When Ross talked about Julie's **** tattoo.
Ross said that it was the prettiest tattoo that he had ever seen.
And that her **** tattoo was a **** lover's dream.
Some of the guys were so ******* and their minds in a gutter pit.
Because Ross was the only guy who had ever seen it.

She was in such a rut.
She just wanted to go off to an island and live in a hut.
Spending time eating bananas and coconuts.
Palm trees and moonlit nights under a beautiful sky.
Just looking at the stars and enjoying time passing by.

Two skunks met in the grass.
He told her that she was a good looking lass.
And that she smell so sweet.
She told him that his aroma was so neat.
A gray fox came by and said with a wink.
I am sorry to say that you both stink.

Your love is like diamonds.
That sparkle in the night.
Your love is like the stars.
That shine so bright.

Youe love is like the wind.
That feels so cool.
Your love is like icecream.
That tastes so smooth.

Your love is like the sky,
That is so blue.
Your love is like a bright sunny day.
That makes the world seem new.

It is such a special sight to see.
When dreams become a reality.
He was all that she ever dreamed of.
Her brightest star in the heavens above.
He was the only one for her in this life.
She knew that she was destined to be his wife.

He walks out of the bathroom.
Wrapped in a bath towel.
His girlfriend is a hungry tigress on the prowl.
She pulls the towel away from his body.
She thinks that he is a hottie.
She leads him to the bedroom.
They will both soon feel sweet passion bloom.

If he had been wise.
He would have kissed the tears from her eyes.
Told her how she was so sweet.
Let her know how it hurt him to see her weep.
He would have made her happiness the most important thing in the world.
And showed her how much he loved her being his special girl.