All the guys fell at her feet.
Because she looked so sweet.
Walking in the rain under her yellow umbrella.
Smiling at all the fellas.
To be under that yellow umbrella was their wish.
So that they could cover such a sweet dish.

It was on a Saturday morning.
That my mother passed away.
God called her home.
He called her home to stay.

With every sunrise, I see her face.
In my heart, no one can take her place.

Christmas is coming.
It is so very near.
Bringing thoughts of my mother.
Whom I miss so dear.

So I'm sending a card to Heaven.
It floats upon my prayer.
One day in Heaven dear mother.
We will all have Christmas there.

He took all her control.
She wanted to roast him over some hot coals.
He always wanted things his way.
Which made her have a miserable day.
There was no give or compromise in him.
So she beat his **** with a rolling pin on a whim.

Remember darling,
Walking hand in hand.
Through the gates of Graceland.
Remember when we sat in Elvis' pink jeep.
Your hug felt so sweet.

Remember how sad you felt.
When you saw Elvis' grave.
You seemed to feel his spirit.
A heartfelt moment to keep and save.

There was magic and Blue Hawaii.
All that day for us.
Elvis Presley Blvd and Graceland.
Ultimate bliss for his greatest fans.

Birds sing.
Sweethearts dream.
The heart knows that it's spring.

Love buds.
Root Beer suds.
Children play.
Moms pray.

Thank God for life.
And another spring day.

Some people must have thought that they were going insane.
Because Perry and his girlfriend were walking arm in arm in a heavy rain.
Perry's umbrella said to them why haven't you opened me up yet.
Then you two lovebirds wouldn't have to be all wet.
Perry knew that his umbrella was speaking out of place.
Because he just loved seeing the raindrops caress his girlfriend's face.

Some guys use to talk a lot of trash.
Because Madelyn had a tiny mustache.
She was a lady with a lot of pride.
Her tiny mustache never caused her to break her stride.
Madelyn's mustache never stopped her from getting a guy.
Because mustache or not, she was still so fly.

Randy and Sharon were on a nature hike.
And they decided to **** in a cave.
A bear disturbed them.
And only one of them could be saved.
Randy loved Sharon with all his heart.
He felt so sad to leave her.
As he went for the cave entrance at a running start.

Sweetheart and I feeling wild and free.
Frolicking on the beach in Waikiki.
The surf is high and the breezes are nice.
My lips touched sweetheart's lips twice.
Watching the beautiful sun go down.
Passion thirsting for another round.

Jody was one cool cat.
Sporting his white applejack hat.
Sprouting street corner philosophy.
Singing show tunes on one knee.
Putting his jar out for tips.
While drinking wine in little sips.

Willie the husky friendly as could be.
Loved to *** on the neighbor's favorite tree.
Willie was good a dog as they come.
But this one bad habit his owner couldn't break him from.

She had blonde hair and blue eyes.
And she wore a yellow dress.
Looking ripe for hot passion.
To savor in sliced banana fashion.
Her boyfriend peeling off the dress.
For a sweet love fest.

Loveliness adorns her.
Love of God transforms her.
Happiness surrounds her.
Sweet love warms her.

Strawberries appeal to her.
Our love is real to her.
Flowers smell sweet to her.
My soul lives for her.

I love you more than the morning loves the sun.
I love you more than ponies like to run.
I love you more than mountains love streams.
I love you more than the moon loves moonbeams.

I love you more than the clouds love rain.
I love you more than tracks love trains.
I love you more than the desert loves sand.
I love you more than God loves man.

He was a male policeman dressed as a pretty female ******.
He was working an undercover sting to catch some stupid johns.
A young guy fell for his trap.
And approached him and grabbed his ****.
The young man then asked to buy ****** favors from him.
The cop then handcuffed him and told him.
You stupid ******* I am a male cop and you are going to jail.
He thought as he was being taken to jail.
That it had seemed strange for a woman to have such hard **** cheeks.

Moonlit night,
Feelings right,
Bubbling water,
Jet streams.

Bodies mesh,
Warm flesh,
Stars shining above.
Jacuzzi love.

She found it so appealing.
Whe she got that sweet feeling.
After seeing him kneeling with a diamond ring in his hand.
Wanting her to be his wife.
And his soulmate for the rest of her life.
He felt so fine when she said yes.
He knew that he had gotten the best.

She blew a kiss to the moon.
The night was ending too soon.
He held her so very tight.
They felt sorry to see the moon leaving with the coming of daylight.
She blew a kiss to the sun.
They felt so happy together this beautiful morn.

Darling, remember the day.
You felt so sad and blue.
All you wanted in the world.
Was for me to just hold you.

I spent all of that day.
Loving you and kissing your tears away.
So whenever you're feeling sad and blue.
No matter what time of day.

I'll be there for you darling.
To kiss your tears away.

He was at the local bar.
When he faked needing CPR.
He acted like he was unconscious and couldn't breathe.
So that a pretty nurse patron could bring him back to life.

While she was on her kneees.
But he got a big surprise.
When he tasted bad breath Chad's lips.
As he opened his eyes.

Nurse Rhonda was a nymphomaniac.
She put smiles on the faces of the old guys in the nursing home.
When she was giving them their baths, she would take advantage.
Some people would call this senior abuse.
But the old guys called it pure pleasure.
But one day Nurse Rhonda was caught by her supervisor doing wrong.
And she was fired and many of the old guys cried.

You make the winter seem like spring.
You make troubled seas calm.
You are the peace within my soul.
You are my warmth when the sky grows cold.

Your heart is my pillow in the night.
Your arms enfold me until early light.
Your breathing is music to my ears.
Thank you darling for oceans of love all these years.

Sweet love by the pond.
Crickets chirping a sweet song.
Fireflies lighting up the night.
Our love taking flight.

Our spirits floating on angel wings.
A sweet love song our hearts sing.
The stars fill the night with joy.
Above the heavens our love soars.

On an autumn day pretty as you please.
Lucy the basset hound could be found chasing falling leaves.
Wagging her tail high in the air.
Frolicking around without a care.

A dog's life must be good.
All Lucy has to worry about is chasing leaves.
And crapping in the woods.

Treat her right.
She will be so nice.
Treat her wrong.
She will be cold as ice.

Treat her like a queen.
She will be your lifelong dream.
Treat her bad.
You will end up lonely and sad.

It's twilight.
The sun escorts the moon to the night.
The sun sleeps, the wind howls.
My sweetheart smiles.

Autumn chill,
Sweetheart's warm feel,
Sultry looks,
Heart be still.

He missed his girlfriend so dear.
So he had a beer.
Her leaving caused him to lose cheer.
So he had a beer.
She might never return.
This caused him great fear.
So he had a beer.

They were in a glass caged zoo.
When an earthquake shattered the glass through and through.
They were having such fun.
Before the animals put them on the run.
I know that this may sound crude.
But the animals found them to be tasty food.

Marybeth was a southern chick.
She loved fried okra and grits.
She was the town's biggest flirt.
She had slits running down the sides of her skirt.
Showing those fine legs, she was a tease.
Making all the guys weak in the knees.

He was in such shock.
When a tomcat ****** on his UPS box.
He had waited for the package for a long time.
But the **** was a bad sign.
He sprayed the box with febreze.
And then proceeded to open his box.
Filled with Parmesan cheese.

The day was nice and sunny.
They were a poor family without a lot of money.
And little Lorrie felt so nice and warm.
When she picked some wildflowers for mom.
Mom had the happiest time.
When she received those wildflowers from her little Valentine.

The weatherman said that there would be snow.
But when he looked out the window.
There was no snow, no snow for Christmas.
The weather turned out to be 60 degrees.
Who would have believed.
That Santa had to wear sunglasses and short sleeves.

Cherry Coke tastes sweet.
Mountain Dew is so neat.
But darling, you're my favorite flavor.
The one I always savor.

Sweet as a strawberry soda.
Fresh as lemonade.
Smooth like Mello Yello.
Makes me glad I'm your fellow.

Drinking nice and slow.
Satisfies my thirst.
Every part is sweet to the taste.
Not one drop goes to waste.

This love runs on emotion.
This love is fueled by devotion.
This love floats on feelings.
Higher than a cathedral ceiling.

This love soars on the breeze of monogamy.
Two  hearts in perfect harmony.
This love is you.
This love is me.
Together, forever through eternity.

Willard loved his pet turkey.
He fed him good all year-round.
And his pet turkey put on the pounds.
Around the farmyard, Willard's turkey was boss.
And at Thanksgiving Day dinner,
He tasted so good with stuffing and cranberry sauce.

There's a girl who walks the scenic trail.
The one with the long ponytail.
The way it blows in the breeze.
Can bring a fellow to his knees.

She's pure as sunshine.
Mellow as aged wine.
Mystical as a Hawaiian sunrise.
A beauty bouquet for the eyes.

I never feel alone when you are near.
Life is sunshine and roses because you are here.
I never feel sad and blue when I'm with you.
Because I found a love so beautiful and true.

I walk through life without a care.
I know that your love will always be there.
In this life I know no fear.
Because your love and God give me strength my dear.

My love and I strolled outside.
In the flower garden.
Beautiful and scenic.

It was cloudy in the sky above.
It began to shower raindrops of love.
You and I darling became drenched.
Wet with droplets from above.

Love raindrops look good on your face.
From your lips they gave a sweet taste.
In your hair they smelled so sweet.
Soft rain and you darling.
Heaven's special treat.

Coach Bear loved to swear.
If players didn't hit hard enough.
He gave them a hard stare.
He was one tough football coach.
But he was always fair.

He worked his players very hard.
But come game time, this was their winner's card.
Coach Bear always brought out the best.
Made his players stronger for life's test.

A great beauty has passed from this life.
Of good times and sometimes toil and strife.
Some will say that she went to a better place.
Look at the blue sky or white clouds, you will still see her face.

Movements like a gazelle in flight.
Hair that shone like gold on a moolit night.
Eyes that could touch your soul.
And essence like that of a red rose.

Farrah, you fought hard to stay here on earth with us.
But when God calls you, go you must.
Whenever we feel a summer breeze or April rain.
It will seem like you are near.
And in our hearts, your memory will always remain dear.

He was sitting on a bank fishing.
When a copperhead snake slithered up and said hello.
He said, what's up bro.
You want to bite me I know.
The copperhead snake said, no I just wanted to stop awhile and rap.
He said, you know you want to bite me.
You lying piece of crap.

She walks through life without a care.
The girl with the strawberry hair.
She glides on top of the world.
The girl with the strawberry curls.

She's every boy's dream.
Sweet as cherries and ice cream.
Pretty as flowers in spring.
She makes all the guys' hearts sing.

I remember the time we said goodbye.
A single tear fell from your eye.
My love was going away.
On a distant trip today.

Her nearness she knew I would surely miss.
Upon my head she placed a kiss.
Even though she left today.
Her heart never did go away.

Upon a TWA jet she flew.
Up in the sky so blue.
A love so true.
I could still feel her kiss as the wind blew.

Everyone thought that it was some type of crazy stunt.
When Grant took Ethan on a deer hunt.
Ethan couldn't hit the right side of a barn with a gun.
And when a big buck charged him.
Ethan started to run.

Grant ended up shooting Ethan in the ear.
Ethan lived but Grant wished that he was dead.
So that he could have called the shooting a hunting accident.
And got back at Ethan for secretly taking his wife to bed.

My love sails on blue waters.
Blue waters of your heart.
My love dances on the wind.
The wind of your soul.

My love is a true reflection.
Reflection of your eyes.
My love will live forever.
In your body and soul.

Church has always been her favorite place.
When she prays, tears of pearls stream down her face.
She has always known that love and God is the key.
To a good life that's trouble free.

She has always loved God and Sunday School.
Spent her life living by the Golden Rule.
I thank her from the bottom of my heart.
For putting God and me at the top of her chart.

Our love is written in the stars.
Illuminating the universe from Mercury to Mars.
Our love is floating in the sky.
Dancing above the clouds so high.

Our love is sung by the wind.
Echoed by the thunder.
Caressed by the rain.
A thing of beauty and wonder.

Our love is touched by the sun.
Blessed by God.
Etched in the heart.
Destined to last forever from the start.

Love can sometimes be fresh.
Love can sometimes be new.
Love can sometimes make you happy.
And sometimes make you blue.

Love is the light that radiates from your eyes.
Love is your image floating in the skies.

Love is true.
And darling, the only love for me is you.

Anita was a Walmart cashier with a good attitude.
She was always happy and never rude.
She could ring up items fast as a jet.
And place all of the items in a shopping cart.
Before a customer could write a check.
Anita was very good at her work.
Anyone who didn't appreciate her was a ****.

The moon just peeked from behind the trees.
At you and I darling on our carpet of leaves.
Your love is sweet like ripe fruit.
As our passion takes root.

The wind blew just right tonight.
The stars shone from heaven above.
Lovely as a dove.
October love.