She had blonde hair and blue eyes.
And she wore a yellow dress.
Looking ripe for hot passion.
To savor in sliced banana fashion.
Her boyfriend peeling off the dress.
For a sweet love fest.

My friend Ken lives in a world of sin.
Slicked back hair, pencil thin mustache, and a goatee on his chin.
Drives a big candy red caddy and lives in a shanty.
Spends his days trying to get into all the ladies' *******.

He doesn't know the meaning of work.
You might call him the town's biggest ****.
Close your windows and lock your doors.
Before he tries to make your lady his and not yours.

My love and I strolled outside.
In the flower garden.
Beautiful and scenic.

It was cloudy in the sky above.
It began to shower raindrops of love.
You and I darling became drenched.
Wet with droplets from above.

Love raindrops look good on your face.
From your lips they gave a sweet taste.
In your hair they smelled so sweet.
Soft rain and you darling.
Heaven's special treat.

He was sitting on a bank fishing.
When a copperhead snake slithered up and said hello.
He said, what's up bro.
You want to bite me I know.
The copperhead snake said, no I just wanted to stop awhile and rap.
He said, you know you want to bite me.
You lying piece of crap.

He was a male policeman dressed as a pretty female ******.
He was working an undercover sting to catch some stupid johns.
A young guy fell for his trap.
And approached him and grabbed his ****.
The young man then asked to buy ****** favors from him.
The cop then handcuffed him and told him.
You stupid ******* I am a male cop and you are going to jail.
He thought as he was being taken to jail.
That it had seemed strange for a woman to have such hard **** cheeks.

You make the winter seem like spring.
You make troubled seas calm.
You are the peace within my soul.
You are my warmth when the sky grows cold.

Your heart is my pillow in the night.
Your arms enfold me until early light.
Your breathing is music to my ears.
Thank you darling for oceans of love all these years.

The moon just peeked from behind the trees.
At you and I darling on our carpet of leaves.
Your love is sweet like ripe fruit.
As our passion takes root.

The wind blew just right tonight.
The stars shone from heaven above.
Lovely as a dove.
October love.

Treat her right.
She will be so nice.
Treat her wrong.
She will be cold as ice.

Treat her like a queen.
She will be your lifelong dream.
Treat her bad.
You will end up lonely and sad.

Willard loved his pet turkey.
He fed him good all year-round.
And his pet turkey put on the pounds.
Around the farmyard, Willard's turkey was boss.
And at Thanksgiving Day dinner,
He tasted so good with stuffing and cranberry sauce.

If he had been wise.
He would have kissed the tears from her eyes.
Told her how she was so sweet.
Let her know how it hurt him to see her weep.
He would have made her happiness the most important thing in the world.
And showed her how much he loved her being his special girl.

He remembered how she use to call him hon.
When they had their rendezvous at the swimming pond.
Skinny dipping and dripping wet.
******* was in the plans, this you could bet.
Two lovers enjoying life free as birds.
Floating on the breezes were their love words.

One Saturday morning, Garrett was in a feisty mood.
And to his barber, he became very rude.
I'm partially bald and my haircut should be half priced he said.
The barber told him, I don't charge by the amount of hair.
I charge by the head.

It is such a special sight to see.
When dreams become a reality.
He was all that she ever dreamed of.
Her brightest star in the heavens above.
He was the only one for her in this life.
She knew that she was destined to be his wife.

She blew a kiss to the moon.
The night was ending too soon.
He held her so very tight.
They felt sorry to see the moon leaving with the coming of daylight.
She blew a kiss to the sun.
They felt so happy together this beautiful morn.

I love you more than the morning loves the sun.
I love you more than ponies like to run.
I love you more than mountains love streams.
I love you more than the moon loves moonbeams.

I love you more than the clouds love rain.
I love you more than tracks love trains.
I love you more than the desert loves sand.
I love you more than God loves man.

My love sails on blue waters.
Blue waters of your heart.
My love dances on the wind.
The wind of your soul.

My love is a true reflection.
Reflection of your eyes.
My love will live forever.
In your body and soul.

This love runs on emotion.
This love is fueled by devotion.
This love floats on feelings.
Higher than a cathedral ceiling.

This love soars on the breeze of monogamy.
Two  hearts in perfect harmony.
This love is you.
This love is me.
Together, forever through eternity.

Darling, remember the day.
You felt so sad and blue.
All you wanted in the world.
Was for me to just hold you.

I spent all of that day.
Loving you and kissing your tears away.
So whenever you're feeling sad and blue.
No matter what time of day.

I'll be there for you darling.
To kiss your tears away.

Everyone thought that it was some type of crazy stunt.
When Grant took Ethan on a deer hunt.
Ethan couldn't hit the right side of a barn with a gun.
And when a big buck charged him.
Ethan started to run.

Grant ended up shooting Ethan in the ear.
Ethan lived but Grant wished that he was dead.
So that he could have called the shooting a hunting accident.
And got back at Ethan for secretly taking his wife to bed.

They have come so far.
But she still feels uneasy about her breast scar.
He kisses her scar.
And let her know that she will always be his shining star.
And that he loves her flawed ******.
Theirs is love purity.

Cherry Coke tastes sweet.
Mountain Dew is so neat.
But darling, you're my favorite flavor.
The one I always savor.

Sweet as a strawberry soda.
Fresh as lemonade.
Smooth like Mello Yello.
Makes me glad I'm your fellow.

Drinking nice and slow.
Satisfies my thirst.
Every part is sweet to the taste.
Not one drop goes to waste.

He missed his girlfriend so dear.
So he had a beer.
Her leaving caused him to lose cheer.
So he had a beer.
She might never return.
This caused him great fear.
So he had a beer.

Darling, the path of our love has been very smooth.
Because in my heart you lit a fuse.
My soul never sings the blues.

A flame of love that always burns.
A wheel of passion that always turns.
A bird of romance that always flies.
A garden of happiness that never dies.

Two skunks met in the grass.
He told her that she was a good looking lass.
And that she smell so sweet.
She told him that his aroma was so neat.
A gray fox came by and said with a wink.
I am sorry to say that you both stink.

Marybeth was a southern chick.
She loved fried okra and grits.
She was the town's biggest flirt.
She had slits running down the sides of her skirt.
Showing those fine legs, she was a tease.
Making all the guys weak in the knees.

Loveliness adorns her.
Love of God transforms her.
Happiness surrounds her.
Sweet love warms her.

Strawberries appeal to her.
Our love is real to her.
Flowers smell sweet to her.
My soul lives for her.

Your love is like diamonds.
That sparkle in the night.
Your love is like the stars.
That shine so bright.

Youe love is like the wind.
That feels so cool.
Your love is like icecream.
That tastes so smooth.

Your love is like the sky,
That is so blue.
Your love is like a bright sunny day.
That makes the world seem new.

Sweetheart and I feeling wild and free.
Frolicking on the beach in Waikiki.
The surf is high and the breezes are nice.
My lips touched sweetheart's lips twice.
Watching the beautiful sun go down.
Passion thirsting for another round.

Moonlit night,
Feelings right,
Bubbling water,
Jet streams.

Bodies mesh,
Warm flesh,
Stars shining above.
Jacuzzi love.

He was in such shock.
When a tomcat ****** on his UPS box.
He had waited for the package for a long time.
But the **** was a bad sign.
He sprayed the box with febreze.
And then proceeded to open his box.
Filled with Parmesan cheese.

Randy and Sharon were on a nature hike.
And they decided to **** in a cave.
A bear disturbed them.
And only one of them could be saved.
Randy loved Sharon with all his heart.
He felt so sad to leave her.
As he went for the cave entrance at a running start.

He was at the local bar.
When he faked needing CPR.
He acted like he was unconscious and couldn't breathe.
So that a pretty nurse patron could bring him back to life.

While she was on her kneees.
But he got a big surprise.
When he tasted bad breath Chad's lips.
As he opened his eyes.

While walking a Wyoming mountain path.
Sweetheart and I encountered a black bear.
She looked at me her eyes full of scare.
I said to her full of boldness and confidence.
Darling, it's either run or prayer.

She has the face of love.
The beauty of a white dove.
The scent of a red rose.
A sweet spirit that God chose.
A love of charity giving.
A zest for clean and religious living.

Alex's wife called him to come down quick.
To see what was left by Old Saint Nick.
Alex came down to see his wife naked as can be.
Standing underneath the Christmas tree.
All wrapped up a Christmas bow.
Saying ** ** **.

It's twilight.
The sun escorts the moon to the night.
The sun sleeps, the wind howls.
My sweetheart smiles.

Autumn chill,
Sweetheart's warm feel,
Sultry looks,
Heart be still.

Nurse Rhonda was a nymphomaniac.
She put smiles on the faces of the old guys in the nursing home.
When she was giving them their baths, she would take advantage.
Some people would call this senior abuse.
But the old guys called it pure pleasure.
But one day Nurse Rhonda was caught by her supervisor doing wrong.
And she was fired and many of the old guys cried.

She found it so appealing.
Whe she got that sweet feeling.
After seeing him kneeling with a diamond ring in his hand.
Wanting her to be his wife.
And his soulmate for the rest of her life.
He felt so fine when she said yes.
He knew that he had gotten the best.

Coach Bear loved to swear.
If players didn't hit hard enough.
He gave them a hard stare.
He was one tough football coach.
But he was always fair.

He worked his players very hard.
But come game time, this was their winner's card.
Coach Bear always brought out the best.
Made his players stronger for life's test.

I never feel alone when you are near.
Life is sunshine and roses because you are here.
I never feel sad and blue when I'm with you.
Because I found a love so beautiful and true.

I walk through life without a care.
I know that your love will always be there.
In this life I know no fear.
Because your love and God give me strength my dear.

It was on a Saturday morning.
That my mother passed away.
God called her home.
He called her home to stay.

With every sunrise, I see her face.
In my heart, no one can take her place.

Christmas is coming.
It is so very near.
Bringing thoughts of my mother.
Whom I miss so dear.

So I'm sending a card to Heaven.
It floats upon my prayer.
One day in Heaven dear mother.
We will all have Christmas there.

Sweet love by the pond.
Crickets chirping a sweet song.
Fireflies lighting up the night.
Our love taking flight.

Our spirits floating on angel wings.
A sweet love song our hearts sing.
The stars fill the night with joy.
Above the heavens our love soars.

Anita was a Walmart cashier with a good attitude.
She was always happy and never rude.
She could ring up items fast as a jet.
And place all of the items in a shopping cart.
Before a customer could write a check.
Anita was very good at her work.
Anyone who didn't appreciate her was a ****.

She wanted to fly to the moon.
He wanted to fly to Los Angeles and arrive by noon.
She wanted to go to places out of reach.
He wanted to put on sunscreen lotion and go to the beach.
She wanted to party all night in a dress that was red.
He just wanted a quiet night in bed.

He died on a day so sunny and warm.
And was surprised to find.
That heaven was a farm.
It was his heaven in life and also in death.
Farm living was where he found more peace and happiness than wealth.
But it was only just a dream.
He was still alive and surviving on inner city streets so mean.

Louise wanted to be a dancing star.
So that her parents would be proud of her.
She had all the right moves.
She knew how to make her body groove.
Louise attended a local school of dance.

So that she would be ready for her big chance.
But things didn't go the way she planned.
She ended up in a club as a stripper stage named Honey Sweet *****.
Being eyeballed by lustful men.

He walks out of the bathroom.
Wrapped in a bath towel.
His girlfriend is a hungry tigress on the prowl.
She pulls the towel away from his body.
She thinks that he is a hottie.
She leads him to the bedroom.
They will both soon feel sweet passion bloom.

Church has always been her favorite place.
When she prays, tears of pearls stream down her face.
She has always known that love and God is the key.
To a good life that's trouble free.

She has always loved God and Sunday School.
Spent her life living by the Golden Rule.
I thank her from the bottom of my heart.
For putting God and me at the top of her chart.

The day was nice and sunny.
They were a poor family without a lot of money.
And little Lorrie felt so nice and warm.
When she picked some wildflowers for mom.
Mom had the happiest time.
When she received those wildflowers from her little Valentine.

A great beauty has passed from this life.
Of good times and sometimes toil and strife.
Some will say that she went to a better place.
Look at the blue sky or white clouds, you will still see her face.

Movements like a gazelle in flight.
Hair that shone like gold on a moolit night.
Eyes that could touch your soul.
And essence like that of a red rose.

Farrah, you fought hard to stay here on earth with us.
But when God calls you, go you must.
Whenever we feel a summer breeze or April rain.
It will seem like you are near.
And in our hearts, your memory will always remain dear.