Baron was hiking in the mountains so full of cheer.
When a grizzly bear approached him, he offered the bear a beer.
The grizzly bear became ******* because he was offered a Budweiser.
If he had been offered a Heineken, he would have been much nicer.
And then there wouldn't have been a grizzly bear attack crisis.

Xavier was a hardworking garbage man.
He was a superman at lifting those heavy garbage cans.
He was well known on his route far and wide.
Because in his job, he always took pride.
He learned early in life and this I will tell.
That whatever job you do, do it well.

Chili Ben loved to grin
After he had broken wind around his friends.
A *** of chili was his doom.
Like a bomb, his chili wind could clear a room.
Chili Ben could have used more manners.
But for now, place him on the break wind champion banners.

Marybeth was a southern chick.
She loved fried okra and grits.
She was the town's biggest flirt.
She had slits running down the sides of her skirt.
Showing those fine legs, she was a tease.
Making all the guys weak in the knees.

One Saturday morning, Garrett was in a feisty mood.
And to his barber, he became very rude.
I'm partially bald and my haircut should be half priced he said.
The barber told him, I don't charge by the amount of hair.
I charge by the head.

He made a mistake and called his girlfriend a heartless witch.
It was no mistake when she threw him into a ditch.
She said, you and I are through.
And then kicked him in the head with her stiletto shoe.
It was too bad that his head landed in dog poo.
And she ruined her nice stiletto shoe.

She was leaning against the rail of a cruise ship.
Looking at the beautiful ocean.
When out of the water leapt a great white shark.
And bit off part of her arm.
She had to be rushed to the hospital by helicopter.
She was offered a free cruise when she got well.