She was leaning against the rail of a cruise ship.
Looking at the beautiful ocean.
When out of the water leapt a great white shark.
And bit off part of her arm.
She had to be rushed to the hospital by helicopter.
She was offered a free cruise when she got well.

He was taking a nap in his truck bed in a beautiful wooded area.
When he was awakened by something licking his face.
He thought that it was his dog Bo.
But it was a hungry coyote.
Getting ready to take a bite out of him.
His German Shepherd Bo had cowardly run away.

Delmont was just like a bear.
There wasn't a place that he didn't have hair.
All over his body he was a super hair grower.
To remove all of the hair it would take a lawnmower.
A lot of his dates were turned off.
Shedding hair sometimes made them cough.

They looked up into the night sky and saw a sign.
One that blew their minds.
They saw two shooting stars.
Racing through the sky so fast.
They knew that their love would always last.
As the shooting stars flew past.

Puddles was a tomcat who wouldn't go outside.
When they opened the door.
He loved to **** on the floor.
He wouldn't use a litter box.

He would crap on the floor just as regular.
As the second hand go around a clock.
His owners tried very hard to train him.
But ******* and crapping on the floor, he did on whims.

He found a wallet full of money.
He was feeling sweeter than honey.
He became bewildered when his conscience said, take the money and run.
Go on a spending spree and have some fun.
He said, conscience you are so full of crap.
You usually tell me to do the right thing.
But you need to shut your thieving trap.

He loved his new girlfriend's collard greens and yams.
His other girlfriend had only fed him spam.
His other girlfriend had always put his spam in a bowl.
With only one little dinner roll.
His other girlfriend had always treated him like a dog.
His new girlfriend brought him sunshine instead of a fog.