All I know is it’s rare to have this feeling
your love is infinitely appealing
got my mind bent and turned gone... high above my cream colored ceiling
desireble desirable dreams about your stimulating ****** healing
night after night we’ll play under the covers biting moaning talking **** squealing
sorry I didn’t mean to be so blunt forceful sexually revealing

anxiety super high
I wanna call **** that
tired of fighting a brick wall
I fell for that smile on a black man over 6ft tall
u would have thought because he is older
he wouldn’t act so ******* bipolar
I was ready to carry his weight on my shoulder
but every time we talked I felt the conversations
growing colder
I shoulda threw his number in the trash that very day last October

Once Apon a time...
I was so scared to fight back with you to simply make reason of our issues. I was afraid that you would walk away, so my tongue grew quiet and I replaced my voice that once was there with food to fill the void. My spirit became weak as you grew cold.... You left me anyway and still till this day I wake at night with tears in my eye. I still want to know why? The only conclusion I came up with was the weight gain.  I still remember those words you once said... you told me that “I get Pregnant too much” as if I was trying to trap you or that I wanted another child by you after enduring those many walks of shame for months! I’m so mad at myself for allowing you to misplace my heart like you did. I’m still searching for the pieces.

                            

*Post-Partum Blues

So upset and heartbroken again... by someone who is only supposed to be my friend till the end I should have never told u my secrets if u were gonna choose to run away! One argument/ misunderstanding should not effect the way u feel today u didn’t even she’d a tear I did cause I was being truly sincere I put myself out there not just for play I wanted to wait and see if u would reach out for me with some kind of empathy.

I usually capture his mind but tonight I want to ****** his mind body and soul
soul snatching I know like the back of my hand  I want to stare into the glistening pierced part of his eyes moan softly then whisper beat this ***** up...

~ art is never truly finished.... not scared to share anymore let this book open up~ release therapy

I still remember u telling me your fantasy
so every night when I close my eyes it’s the same dream of u and me
in the rain temp ranging from 95 98 Degrees
while making love under some tall *** palm tree for any and every one to see

that’s exactly what u are Mr. Martin My Forever Dream of what was supposed to be

are you ready to fall for a poet?  I mean can u keep up??
I asked...
but looking into his eyes and I seen fear

The most addictive drug is the taste of poison He leaves ....the stains on your lips. the mind...he leaves his poisonous dream dreaming of a next time... his smile a poisonous trap.... that allows u to be feed all of his bull crap..... his lips....gods gift to woman this ******* bachelor is something..... I gotta keep reminding myself that it’s nothing

for the first time in my life chocolate has never tasted so dull I wanted u bad  too
all I kept thinking about was u and me... foolish
I shouldn’t even feel like this but I do
all I want was for him to say I see you
all of this inconsistency is leaving me confused
Im ****** I should have never told u my secret the thought alone is leaving me feeling mentally abused. I was dating other people too
but I lost interest that very day in January when I sent that text to you . 4 to 6 and 8 hr conversations and untamed dreams... I thought of making love to u over a thousand ways....  always ending with me on top.... man swear I almost cried today  for a man who wouldn’t even give me a kiss on lips as soft as this
I hope to hear from him again but if not...

Embarrassed and left put out there
u know Exposed....
eyes filled with sinfully innocenthim why I thought it was u tears....
I wanna scream and cry scream and cry...
I hate putting myself out there
just to be looked over and down at
bare naked secrets exposed
I swore not to tell a soul
ya voice on the phone right now
so blunt  so forceful.... cold

when it Dark at night my reading light shines bright, as i write this little poem that’s been stuck in my head. because when it’s dark at night, I reminisce about you and wonder if you’re up there dancing and trying to sing, that was definitely your thing, I was so busy being mad with you and trying my hardest to move on from the pain in  me that you caused I forgot that we almost had a chance to make this parenting thing work for our daughter. I’m so sorry my love,  Forgive me,  Time will pass but I will never be able to forget you or our love Because truthfully you made your mark in this world when we made her she is you she loves to dance and sing  yes that’s her thing,  her eyes her smile, the way she acts,  she is you my love. I wonder all the time if you are up there watching over us and early today i got a sign I seen a Dove fly over the projects. A Dove Flew over the project! I gained hope because I knew you made it,  you were OK
xoxoxo              


PS never stay mad at the people who you care about too long because one day you’re gonna close your eyes wake up and they will be gone,  and you’re going to wish they were still here

dreaming of you is never enough....
I’m ready to get to it I promise it’s not an act
my bedroom game is really tough
I want u to take in all this goodness
look only... I whisper strongly
but don’t touch...
while I’m riding it biting my lips staring into ya eyes      
watching you desperately trying to keep ya composure.. i lean in towards me you to take more in and steal a kiss from them soft black lips... I play with my ***** while using the tip of my finger to stroke my kitty I’m about to *** I can’t help but yell  it excites me this game of *** competition it lights an fire... fire to this forever flame from this “Fire We Make” “boom” Bob Marley’s voice.... my alarm.... I Iie awake ******* soaking wet ready for that good ole wake and bake