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Laci Joanne Mar 16
how is it that i can give you my all
and it's still not enough
how am i supposed to stay in love with someone
who forgets i exist
how do i tell right from wrong
when my head and my heart constantly argue

a good feeling for a short time
or a hard decision for a promising future
the difference between smiling
and being happy
the constant crying
for the same reasons

i am supposed to do what is best for me
but am expected to not be selfish
i am supposed to be strong
but be open and vulnerable
i am supposed to act like an adult
but i am treated like a kid

what do you want from me?
Laci Joanne Feb 28
how do I remain innocent
without telling you my lies
how do I keep myself from overreacting
when I have made the wrong decision  
before the consequence follows
knowing what to believe
without proof

I cause my own problems
even when I don´t want to
I let those problems come between me and you
I constantly doubt us
believing you may be unfaithful
but maybe, I am the one I should worry about
Laci Joanne Feb 4
how do i find the balance
between knowing when to fight or let go
or how to know if i'm going down the right road
how to find the balance between what i want and what i need
how do i follow my instincts when they mislead me?
my emotions, my thoughts
don't go into measuring cups
there's no recipe for the help i need
do i listen to what everyone is telling me?
should i beg them all to let me be?
i can't find the balance
when i'm so unsure of myself
Laci Joanne Nov 2019
my insecurities stick to me like glitter
not glue, glitter
when you have a sparkly dress and glitter gets on you
when you try to get it off but hours later you still find pieces of it on you

i try to forget how self conscious i am
but when i see a pretty girl
i feel as if all my beauty is lost
that she's better than me
and i remember the glitter on my body
every single piece

how my eyes aren't a pretty blue, they're gray-ish blue and dull
that my shoulders are oddly uneven
my stomach suddenly became three times larger
my lips aren't plump and pretty
i'm not cute when i make a silly face

my whole body is covered with glitter
it sticks and shines on me like a disco ball
my insecurities do not stick like glue
they shine like glitter
Laci Joanne Nov 2019
i went after you because i liked your friend
but he didn't like me
so i decided to go after you instead
i didn't really like you at first
but as time progressed, you started to make me smile
i started to like your touch, the idea of your love
what i didn't know was
i wasn't falling for you
i was falling for what we could be
you told me you lost feelings
yet you stayed, pretending
for what? i have my theories
i'll pretend like it doesn't hurt
and act like i don't care
but deep down i'm hurting somewhere

this is a confession to a boy that will never get to see it
Laci Joanne Oct 2019
I'm not just stuck in between two rocks
Its not that simple
I am surrounded on all side by huge boulders
These boulders aren't quiet
They scream at me
Asking whats wrong
Then saying its my own problem
Expecting me to talk
Then making me feel wrong for the way I feel
I could slide out if i was between two rocks
But these boulders won' t let me go
So instead of saying I'm in between two rocks
I'm surrounded by my problems
Laci Joanne Jun 2019
Our hearts are uneven
What is so difficult for me
Is so easy for you
You can easily stay away
And I can barely go without your words
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