I haven't seen the light in what seems like light years. And these have been heavy ones.
I worry that if I venture out it may disprove my writing.
Cooped up in a cold room I stared blankly in a moon lit mirror.
Where did my sanity go about an hour ago when we were eating dinner ?

I was thinking maybe, just maybe,
That we could have a baby,
Or be forever 21 and die together in 2080.
See I've been thinking about that lately
I guess you could say it's crazy,
But I've got responsibilities,
That bring me to my knees,
And somehow I've got to look out for me.
Living isn't cheap,
especially at my university,
And I'm only 19,
And I'm only getting stronger,
So if I'm not man enough yet, you better watch out now.

I can't feel my soul, but I'm certain it's there.
There are no MRI's or CAT scans of it
There are no people that make it glow like it used to.
But before bed, each night,
I put a pen to paper and it pours from my fingertips.

I don't know how else to explain it.
I'm sure it's there.

I feel flustered
I should see my psychiatrist, but i won't.
After 2 hypothermic years of alcohol and lonesomeness,
The king of indifference and emotional neglect,
Actually cares about someone other than himself.
again.

The vultures are already flying above me,
I'd **** myself now but I'm not finished building my pyramid.

Love is a death sentence,
Neither contentment nor serenity can breathe in its atmosphere,
Yet for some strange reason
I think I can.

She's certain I'm a narcissist now
And maybe she's right
But I don't think she realizes how much I cared for her
The friendships that I severed for her
The sacrifices.
And even though she was right,
That I never loved her,
I always viewed her with incredible respect and dignity.
Emma you were and are a deeply beautiful person.
I'm truly sorry I made you feel so meretricious.

In the seventh grade when we sat in the park
And I told you I don't like lighting things on fire
And you told me that is why you like me
And I kissed you for the first time.
You'll never know just how much
That moment meant to me.

Feel special!
It's false,
But at least you feel something.