Sometimes I find myself alone
Lost in my endless hope to bemoan
Freezing the darkness to my bone
Hoping that oneday I'll turn to stone

Careless smiles and greetings
Useless jobs and meetings
Helpless sorrow and feelings
Hopeless prayers and pleadings

Things I've done you couldn't condone
Reasons in my mind that could never be shown
Guilts of my life that i always atone
Sometimes I find myself alone

I have a broken church near my home
Where I often meet broken gods alone
They stare at me for reasons unknown
Broken hopes engraved in tombstone
Feeling the emptiness in their throne

In the deepest darkness of the fair
In the eternal midst of their despair
Their hopeless eyes shifts to where
People who once showed eternal care
Pointlessly waiting for a perfect prayer

Silence prevails as if I've already known
All that remains, a broken alter of rhinestone
And a broken person who've never flown
I have a broken church near my home
Where I often meet myself  alone

I don't know why I breath out
Is it because this breath is the only warmth I feel in this dreary night
Or is it because I revel in the memories of how cold it was before


I don't know why I breath in
Why feel this cold pain
Why must it make my existence
Why create a cycle that eventually ends

I wish that my eyes could see
all the beautiful things you could be
as the stars align for you to find the key
to open all realities for you to roam free

I wonder in the brilliance of your smile
that I could never reach even by a mile
that even the darkness couldn't defile
that can even make my eternity worthwhile


I wish that my eyes could see.............
I wish that my eyes could see.............
I wish that my eyes could see.............
All the beautiful things you never could be

It's just that when I find you
My blood turns a dark shade of blue
But it's better than the eternity
Of the nothingness of clarity

The only thing In this beautiful ether
I hate more than you, blue wreather
Is my reflection of the deceiver

You Timeless speck of blue
You worthless shade of hue
I wish the future paints me new
Forever nothing like you knew

Should I ask them
As the curtains fall and the lights dim
Why my sadness filled their happiness to the brim
Why my misery made their teeth so sweet
Why this play was forever incomplete


Should I ask them why
As they cheer, as they stand and applaud
Looking at something so flawed
Savoring in my eternal defeat
The picture of nothing but deceit

Should I ask them
As their hands get tired and they slowly sit down
As the darkness engulfs me to drown
As my enemy slowly sits on the throne
Will my story ever be known

sometimes I wonder how eyes could gleam
beneath the hell I tread that I should deem
beneath the pain I feel under one's own regime
sometimes I wonder how eyes could gleam

there might be strings that I could not see
moving muscles of faces that I would guarantee
smiling, frowning, blushing creation of these strings might be
there must be strings that I can't see

the blindness of my eyes corrupting my imagination
the hardness of my soul corrupting my perception
the direness of my time corrupting my obsession
the sourness of my hope corrupting my salvation

Lies that ends with happiness
Truths that ends with sadness
I wish I could find a place
where I could catch my breath

Perhaps this life was not meant for me
I just wish the wispers would let me be
Stories that wakes me in the depth of the night
Pulls the sheets and realises there is not enough to bite

I close my beautiful red and yellow eyes
and imagine a world that god denies
where stars that burst into a million fireflies
when you touch their implacable lies
forever entangled in the darkness of skies

maybe my raft can survive the silver seas
as the water shiver in the snow breeze
as the snowflakes embraces me with ease
beaconing for my restless heart to freeze
forever mercilessly deaf to all my please

For my love waits for me in the ruby shore
smiling as the ruby shards pierce her more
her soulless dark eyes is something I adore
the wind carries her whisper towards my core
forever singing purple melodies like never before

my raft breaks apart  just for me to agonise
I see my tired reflection in the water that lies
forever horrified at what the image implies
I close my beautiful red and yellow eyes
and imagine a world that god denies

Time sits on a summer's day
Stares drifting towards the endless bay
She gently lifts her arm as her feet sway
reaching desperately for anyone to stay
At the edge of the sea where eyes may stray
Death stands searching for his constant prey
ignoring her glance as he hides away
Perhaps when they meet they can finally say
All the things their hearts may weigh

The brightest light upon the earth
Casts the darkest shadow we call the night
The creation of light that beckons the night
Questions and answers god's first act

Whatever life may not be
It may not be the lulling memories of an ardent book you read With the tender crackling whispers of the fireplace
It may never be the Implacable cold snow that morphs into beautiful fireflies at the edge of the dreamers Camelot
Neither get the laudation worth a king’s ransom as My eyes forever close to see your maddening smile
Whatever life may not be.......
It is felt...
Felt by the hot breath of the newborn you hold as you gently pat its wrinkly hair
Felt by the dry breath of the old lost in the rhythm of time
Felt by the incoherent scratches on a bench in a classroom beckoning to remember
Felt by the lonely footprints by the cliff you took
Felt by the misty tears on a letter  crumbled in the trash
Whatever life may not be.... it is felt

Names have the power to become something more
It sits there brewing in minds of the mindless
Creating fractals of crystalline imagination
Making more and more meanings of nothingness
As the meanings suffocate the intent
And the understanding becomes more obscure
it will reach a precipice
of never being able to return to what it once was
Perhaps once it losses its meaning
I can write something new
as my imperfections blend into the meaning
and my heart turn in to letters
Perhaps then it can truly be mine

In the deepest depth of my soul I believe
There is a place that no one could leave
Something even the gods couldn't thieve
A place that I slowly hide in my sleeve


In the depths lays the shadows of few
Of people blinded by the lights of new
In the times of the snow they slowly brew
A song that I could never see through


In the deepest depth of my soul I believe
There is a place that no one could leave
A place where too many stories weave
A strange place that's too beautifully naive