I just climbed on top of that fine guy
It was mostly obscured
And
He rode me first

Despite the whole bunch of sad poetry
Wondering why that boy ghosted me
I’m  relatively happy
Content and living free
And even though I want to say
“Don’t pay any attention to me”
Doing so would be
An oxymoron to the whole point
Of poetry

Abandoned
Deserved or not
Maybe a lifetime of this
Set far apart
Missing almost from the grid
Sort of solitary
Confinement
Sad poetry
Written by me
Karma
It must be
Alone with only me
Writing sad poetry
Bumming you out
Probably
What’s the use?!
Sad poetry

Finally back in my own stable home
Where everything has it’s place
And remains where I left it
I know where the light switches are
Even in the dark
And I can flush the toilet
Anytime
Without waking anyone up
My neighbors are still having their loud
Nightly ***
I’m glad they’re still going at it
When everything changes
It’s the things that stay the sameses
That help me keep my saneness

“I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened?
But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn't. Because they were holding on to something."

FRODO: "What are we holding on to, Sam?"
SAM: "That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for."

How does one go about mourning
The loss of something they never had?
This must be what motivates
The villains to turn bad
When what could maybe be
Has really
Always been

Never will happen

One can let it smolder and burn to ash
Or kick that “ain’t gonna happen”
Out on it’s ***
I’m the type to be
Foolish and brash
Particularly when I run out of gas
I thought it was solar powered
But it’s not renewable
It turns out
However
To be entirely screwable
And now it’s in so tight
The head has disappeared
But the mark that it left
Will be there for years

Dear Tile Selector
On Words With Friends
It's clear you have an issue
Not sure what I ever did to you
But you act like my dog bit you
Did I flirt once with your man
Is he the spinner stopper on
Trivia Crack?
Cuz that spinner seems to like me
But you got it in your Scrabbly mind
That you want to smite me

I'm in love with the man
You could be
If you only had
A woman like me

Your reply to my complaint
Was
"I'm used to insults"
And you assume this will make me
Feel sorry
While you play the poor me
Song, dance, and shlup
As if I'm supposed to feel badly for you
Because you're always ******* up

He's the one I dream about
But won't admit it to myself
Or anyone else
I call out another man's name
When asked who is the best
But my secret
Wish
Is for the one
I never name
I keep him in my heart
And he has the brightest flame

He strips me bare
With his words
And I look full-on
Beautiful
An image of me
I never could see
Until it was so
Master fully  
Presented to me

I wanna work you twice over
Sweaty and dirt
Roll around in the hay
But just as importantly
I wanna do all the things that will lead us that way
This ain’t gonna be
A one night stand
Shoot
You ain’t gonna stand when you’re flat on your back
And who knows how many nights we’ll do that

You’re **** and perfect and beautiful
Unfortunately
It’s plain to see
You’re surrounded by layers of
Admirers
Why would you notice me?

You gonna come back
One day
And I won’t make the same mistakes

How do you resist?
And why am I the only one feeling like this?  
The rumble in my soul
Inner magnet’s pull
Right down to my pit
Battery-less *******
Sitting on my ****
I don’t know what to do
With any of that ****
If you can’t feel it too
What’s a girl to do?
Focus on something new?  
It’s not the kind of thing I can force
But I’ve gotta fill it up somehow
Of course
Off course
For sure
Thorn and bramble
Quicksand, too
This ******* cursed course!  
Maybe it’s not something I can do
Tomorrow, and lots of tomorrows too
No end
Maybe
I suppose it all depends on me
How long does one walk to feel free?

I am a beautiful mess

Self sabotage
When it’s happening
Feels perfectly justified
Something inside
Gets fried
Maybe from too much pain
Pretending to feel sane
And having no right to complain
Brings about exhausted brain
Frustration, and even pain
Longing isn’t a happy place
Stepping and stepping every day
Yet no closer  to winning any race
No rewards
And this leads to self sabotage

Dear sir
I think you have mistaken poetry
For an advertisement
To the club you belong to
In the form of a
Written lecture
Trying to pretend
It is poetry
But this poem is really in vain
Because if you read it
You will say
"I wonder who this 'poem' is talking about."
One of the most beautiful things about Poetry
Ambiguity
I can creatively
Tell someone to "*******"
And who knows how many people will think I'm talking about them?
Or tell someone they're wonderful
And make however many people
Feel wonderful
Others can relate
And find common ground
Dear sir,
I think you have mistaken poetry

Her bio said she was from
Uranus
And that’s all we need to know
To make the easy decision to scroll

It must be something
I can’t even name
Never before feeling
That
Makes me still want you
When you’re wearing that dorky hat

I did not comment
On your **** ***** pose
You shared on social media
To everyone you know
I wondered what I might say
Probably that you flipped your lid
But I thought seeing me say that
Might hurt your grandkids
Now that is something you should do
You should consider your grandkids
Too

You turn me on
With your mind
Beautiful to look at
As you are
Your appearance is
The second sexiest thing
You got
You beautiful, beautiful
Man
Smoking ******* hott
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Your identity
Is wrapped in the chains
Of victimhood
Perhaps you don’t know how to be
Anything else
You call yourself a survivor
With fan fare
And tassels
Dwelling on survival
Is dwelling on what you survived
Free yourself of the shackles
That chain you to your weakness
Pretending you are not tied
Focused on how you got out
Keeps you on the inside

There they go
The lives you hold
You've got all sorts over there
With all the shared selfies
Committing a crime
Or the man with the melting hair
They're all on the grift
Living luxuriously
While looking down on you and me
Yet this is the leaders we
Chose to be
This craziness goes deeper than
Envy or greed
It's more primal than just the need to
Compete
When twisted by puppeteers
It's a blind zombie fleet
Balling their fists
And kicking their feet
Moaning and wailing
Realization of failing
Staring them right in the eye
Looking aghast at a madman
And admitting
"I followed that guy."

My poems are ever evolving
I’ve edited
Along the way
The beauty of these tools
Or maybe a curse, too
The loss of the shadows in the
Light when it was new

I am fully expecting you to
Shine your light through my cracks
Whether it be not by intent
Nor whim
Doesn’t make the light dim

Guys who wear a certain type of sunglasses
Turn me off
It’s a very specific type
But there seems to be no redemption
Because he’ll always be
The guy in THOSE
Sunglasses
It’s not his fault
And it’s not fair
A sunglass style
Makes me beware
But association
Can’t help but compare

Using all of those tired lines
"I am besotted with
Your beautiful eyes"
It echoes in my ear
It's all too clear
You're not being sincere
You're repeating some old line
You think I want to hear

Shame on the moon
For gazing at you
That moon up there has some nerve
It’s  always spying upon you
Loneliness is what it deserves
Shame on the sun
For kissing your skin
Inviting you out of your clothes
But if I had the power to do that
I would, too, I suppose
Shame on the ocean
Engulfing your body
And lapping you with it’s waves
The tide comes in early when you are around
It’s clear to see what it craves
Most of all
Shame on me
For feeling so strongly
Impotently
One day you may know
How deep my feelings go
Until then from afar I will swoon
Look to the heavens
And shame the moon

How dare life go on
So brazenly
Time passing for others
So weightlessly
Smiles and laughter
And pure joy
I see
So many people
Living so weightlessly
I bear this load
My whole family
It’s more of a burden
Than I can carry
And then I remember
That I am me
And there is no load
I cannot carry
Alongside my family

While she lays sleeping
I stay out late at night and play my songs
And sometimes all the nights can be so long
And it's good when I finally make it home, all alone
While she lays dreaming
I try to get undressed without the light
And quietly she says, "How was your night?"
And I come to her and say
"It was all right, " and I hold her tight
And she believes in me
I'll never know just what she sees in me
I told her someday if she was my girl
I could change the world
With my little songs, I was wrong
But she has faith in me
And so I go on trying faithfully
And who knows maybe on some special night
If my song is right
I will find a way
Find a way
While she lays waiting
I stumble to the kitchen for a bite
Then I see my old guitar in the night
Just waiting for me like a secret friend
And there's no end while she lays crying
I fumble with a melody or two
And I'm torn between the things that I should do
And she says to wake her up when I am through
God, her love is true
And she believes in me
I'll never know just what she sees in me
I told her someday if she was my girl
I could change the world
With my little songs, I was wrong
But she has faith in me
And so I go on trying faithfully
And who knows maybe on some special night
If my song is right
I will find a way
While she waits
While she waits
For me

Well, I see  ‘em every night in tight blue jeans
In the pages of a blue boy magazine
Hey, I’ve been thinking of a new sensation
I’m picking up good vibrations
Oop, she bop, she bop
Do I wanna go out with a lion’s roar
Yeah, I wanna go south and get me some more
They say that a stitch in time saves nine
They say I better stop, or I’ll go blind
Oop, she bop, she bop
She bop, he bop we bop
I bop, you bop, they bop
Be bop, be ba, a loo bop
(I hope he will understand)
Hey, hey, they say I better get a chaperone
Because I can’t stop messing with the danger zone
I won’t worry and I won’t fret
Ain’t no law against it yet.

What’s it like
To be a nutt bust muse?
Does the force send over vibes
When I’m busting a nutt
While thinking of you?
Nutts in shells
Will sort of do

Shelves need a dusting
Recover a brush
Into the bathroom it goes
Look at those toothpaste stains
In the basin
I surely need to clean those
Under the kitchen sink
To get me a sponge
Look at all those ***** dishes
I’ve gotta clean at least some
First put the clean ones away
The cabinet is in such disarray
Here’s that stupid electronic adapter
I looked for yesterday
Gotta put it in place right away
But look at this unorganized drawer
What a cluttered way to store
Electronic adapters, or anything more
Organization is what it needs
Here’s that book I was looking for
Back in it’s place, it goes
Oh my
Shelves need a dusting

There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you." Now... I been sayin' that **** for years. And if you ever heard it, that meant your ***. You'd be dead right now. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was a cold-blooded thing to say to a ******* before I popped a cap in his ***. But I saw some **** this mornin' made me think twice. See, now I'm thinking: maybe it means you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here... he's the shepherd protecting my righteous *** in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. And I'd like that. But that **** ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd.

She takes it on the chin
When he brings it in
More and more these days
He blames her
For his old ways
And still
She remains
The victim(s) often take the blame

Sometimes I dwell and berate myself
Over details that should remain on
The shelf
Why did she say that?
What did he mean?
Who are these people?
They are nothing to me!
Yet I work myself over
Replaying the scene
Figuring on what might have been
I think maybe it might be everyone's
Fate
To have the perfect comeback
An hour too late

I have yet to master the talent of
Holding my tongue

If you listen carefully
Silence will speak
Sometimes too stubborn to hear
Or too weak
Volumes in what is not said
The wind
The crickets
Scuffing feet and creaky beds
The conscience replaying
Pets and peeves
The want to stays and want to leaves
Adjusting to your willingness
To accept the more
And the less
If you can hear it
You will know
Silence speaks straight to the soul

I want to entice you
Into complicit
When we fit it
Where it should be
As seen from afar by me

Even more maddening than the hateful
**** talker
Is the one who feigns concern
Call up your family and friends
And then proceed to pretend
They’re just looking out for you
Over some made up thing
They claim you do
Spread the lie all around
To anyone who will hear
They’re so worried you’re going down
Not accepting they’re already there

I don’t know what I’m searching for
With this poetry
It certainly means
Something to me
My ego massaged
Maybe
To be the Creator
Of poetry

Once you loosed the arrow
There was no way to retract
So please don't say you're sorry
For that missile sticking
In my back

One time
You took me horseback riding
With a guide
And rented horses
I focused on how romantic it was
But I couldn't help but notice
How much that horse
You rode
Hated you

Weaken the whole
Both sides
I suppose

He sang her a song
Anonymously
And she was heard to say
“I wish that was for me.”

I don’t really belong to you
Yet I kinda sorta do
Since you’re the standard
To which everyone
Is held up to

The signs were there
Chipping paint
Hard to read
Then they became
Persistant
Hard to ignore
And now they're trumpets
Blaring at your ears
But still so hard to see

Are you aware of what’s not there?

I bang my drum
Quietly
Words on a page
Music you see
🎶🎼🎵