If I was being honest
I get jealous often
Of course
It doesn’t always seem like jealousy
It often comes across as
Frustration
Mostly at society
And how stupid people can be
Even something as simple as making
The top spot on Hello Poetry
There’s a standard I think the poem should
Reach
Arbitration done by me
To determine what’s up to quality
Has more to do with jealousy
Than me being an apt critic
Of poetry

I'm wishing you could be with me
I suppose that makes me a ****
How can you say you care about someone
And hope their marraige doesn't work?

I am the for whom
The bell tolls today
I am a toll worthy lady
More than today
For me
The bell tolls frequently
Bells must have the ability
To toll silently
Obviously
Bells are deaf
Not me

Always I speak into the void
Sometimes it answers
Always a surprise
Sometimes it’s mean
Sometimes it’s nice

There is no such thing as a path that leads to nowhere
Maybe it didn’t get you
Where you wanted to go
But you’re still somewhere else
Than where you started
And along the way
You grow

Step one
From hundreds of miles away
Not even sure if I’ll get there someday

Let me bring you there
A new space in your mind
You’ve maybe been before
Without that shade of hue
Each time you go there
It still seems so new

He is the man who
Makes me feel
At times
On the brink of insanity
Mind flutter
Even morphs
Expands and
Flips chaotic
He is on the swinging trapeze
Perfect rhythm
To catch whenever
He swings back around my way
And signals me to jump

You're the usual compliment guy
Telling women how beautiful they are
And how much better you would treat them than their boyfriend
Who you keep insulting
You are like the ***
Picking through bones at the junkyard
Searching for a part you can use
With no care factor about the
Wreckage you rip it from
But at least you found that usable part
And now you convince yourself that
The car is better off without it
And aren't you so great
You scrapped that girl for junk parts
And blamed it all on her ex mate
Junkyard jockeys, like you
Always come in late

I admire your dedication to your beliefs
I think your beliefs are dated
And ridiculous
But I admire your dedication
Nonetheless
Perhaps you should admire
Me
For not sinning
Even though I don’t believe

“Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream,” she said
“The one that makes me laugh,” she said
And threw her arms around my head
Show me how you do it
And I promise you, I promise that
I’ll run away with you
I’ll run away with you
Spinning on that dizzy edge
Kissed her face and kissed her head
Dreamed of all the different ways
I had to make her glow
“Why are you so far away?” she said
“Why won’t you ever know that I’m in love with you
That I’m in love with you
You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You’re just like a dream
You’re just like a dream
Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone, alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

I want to be a worm
Climbing inside
Attaching to your mind
Well, not true
I want to be the controller of the worms
Hundreds reporting back to me
Implanting what I want the subject to see
But then again, that’s too much
Responsibility
I’ll stay with being just me
I don’t want to control anybody
I want your mind to be free
Then, it means something when you choose me

I asked for his attention
Demanded it, really
So I shouldn’t have got caught up
When he gave it to me
Look at me now
Just some poor fishy
Caught on the sand
Flopping around to get back in the sea
Once again to swim free
But more importantly
Just to breathe
Luckily
I’m a great flopper
Lot of kick
And I got great lung
Capacity
Each kick brings me back to the sea

I don't mind you comin' here
And wastin' all my time
'Cause when you're standin' oh so near
I kinda lose my mind
It's not the perfume that you wear
It's not the ribbons in your hair
And I don't mind you comin' here
And wastin' all my time
I don't mind you hangin' out
And talkin' in your sleep
It doesn't matter where you've been
As long as it was deep
You always knew to wear it well and
You look so fancy I can tell
And I don't mind you hangin' out
And talkin' in your sleep
I guess you're just what I needed
I needed someone to feed
I guess you're just what I needed
I needed someone to bleed
I don't mind you comin' here
And wastin' all my time, time
'Cause when you're standin' oh so near
I kinda lose my mind
It's not the perfume that you wear
It's not the ribbons in your hair
And I don't mind you comin' here
And wastin' all my time
I guess you're just what I needed
I needed someone to feed
I guess you're just what I needed
I needed someone to bleed

I brought it down in flames
Purposely
But there’s only so long
A pilot can circle
Before they become
Kamikaze
Blew it up on a cliff
Spectacularly
But that’s what happens
At the death of a dream

It was a set up
Really
Engineered by me
Unintentionally
But the way it turned out
So perfectly
Must have had something to do
With the Almighty
Smiling down upon me

Maybe it’s not so grim
As it seems to you
But being the one
With bad luck
Is really hard to do
******* body
******* mind
Wondering what you did
To deserve this ****** time.

I don’t need you to thrive
Or maybe I do
Nobody else
But you
Boo
Maybe some day
You will know it, too

Your apology
Sounds like
An alibi
On why
You shouldn’t feel sorry
And that answers a question
I used to wonder
If something could be less than worthless
Apparently, the answer is “yes.”

It is alarming to see
How many unlocked doors
Are cloaked with invisibility

I am the potter spinning yarn
I’m the cop trying to direct traffic with a broken arm
I’m the stone cutter without a blade
The mafia wannabe, who never got made
I am the Rockette without any kick
I am the lab rat who just won’t get sick
I am the movie that goes on way too long
And on and on
On and on
C’mon Boo, just one more song
I am the prowler audacious
Perpetually
Heading in blindly
Yet apparently
You are blind to me
Because you want to be
And I remain
What you refuse to see
Your choice to not be
You know you
Better than me
The kickless Rockette
Flops around the set
Lamely
Because she stubbornly believes
There are no kicks
Where she’s s’posed to be

The stones of you
Settled in the bones of me
Someday I’ll **** them out
And I will be free

And this is for the questions that don't have any answers
The midnight glancers, and the ******* dancers
The can of freaks, cars packed with speakers
The Gs with the forties and the chicks with beepers

The northern lights and the Southern Comfort
And it don't even matter if your veins are punctured
All the crackheads, the critics, the cynics
And all my heroes at the methadone clinics

All you ******* at the I.R.S.
For the crooked cops and the cluttered desks
For the shots of Jack and the caps of ****
Half pints of love and the fifths of stress

All the hookers that are tricking out in Hollywood
And for my hoods of the world misunderstood
I said it's all good and it's all in fun
Now get in the pit and try to love someone!

Bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy
Diggy, said the boogie, said up jump the boogie (Love someone)
Bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy
Diggy, said the boogie, said up jump the boogie (Love someone)
All the gangs gettin' money and the heads they bang - bang
Wild mustangs, the ***** flicks
All my homies in the county in cell block six

The grits when there ain't enough eggs to cook
And to D.B. Cooper and the money he took
You can look for answers but that ain't fun
Now get in the pit and try to love someone!

Bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy
Diggy, said the boogie, said up jump the boogie.

I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style
And so I came to see him, and listen for a while
And there he was, this young boy, stranger to my eyes
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd
I felt he'd found my letters and read each one out loud
I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song

It doesn’t annoy me
When you say the grass is red
Instead of green
See things how ever you please
But why you gotta tell me?
I didn’t ask you
Or anybody
What kinda colors you see

To me this looks like permission
“Run free in your poetry”
And throughout my history
No kinder words have been given
To me

It’s mostly likely
I’m gonna stay stuck
Far, FAR away from you
Some sort of magic been struck
And there seems to be nothing I can do
Can’t get any closer
No will to go away
Waiting
….
Waiting
For maybe one day
You tell me come nearer
Or set me free
To set my sights on another somebody
I can’t tell if it’s kindness
Or
Torture complete
That you don’t pay
Attention to me
Or maybe I’m the jerky one
Forcing my feelings on you
I wish you would give me a clue
But it is a lot to ask of you
Forcing rejection from a kind man
It makes me an ***
And a bully too
But I can’t really give an apology to you
On behaviors I will continue
Or maybe you like me hanging around
And this is the struggle
I hear when there is no sound
I stick to you
Without your permission
And it’s probably gonna get worse
My confusion within
On whether I’m a blessing or a curse

How can it be
You have this invisible hold on me?
Unrealistic insanity
Willingly
By me
It’s not unhealthy
Nor ugly
Or something that needs to be feared
But obviously
It’s kind of weird

I wanna laugh so hard til my belly hurts
I wanna order a sundae complete with the works
I wanna get tan lines on every inch of my skin
I surely wanna dance and sing
I wanna run to the top of the hill
And proclaim “I AM KING”
But since I’m a girl
I can’t do everything

Real and feel
Just have to rhyme
So I can write you a poem
About my real feelings
One more time

He conquered her mind
It was the friendliest invasion
In the history of mankind
Chemical warfare
With the natural drugs
Kindness, patience, and love
Intoxication
Via kisses and hugs

What she could have been thinking
I have no clue
Denying a beautiful man like you
Whatever her reasons
They must have been unavoidable
It would take a force of nature
To get me unglued
From a sensitive
Intelligent
Beautiful
Man like you
I cannot help but feel
That you have been kissing a fool

They say there's no accounting for taste
It's never been so clear
Everywhere I look
There's some ******* there
Not ******* that
Some ******* out
It's not the sweep-up kind
It's some *******
Some human brought in
And we act like we don't mind
In fact, as it stands
I seem to find
******* intoxicating
Sometime today, I'll bet
I'll give *******
An over-rating
And people will say
"That's *******,"
And I'll say
"They're all just hating"
I got *******, so do you
And through it we're all wading

Begging wouldn’t help
But I would
If it would
I have gotten on my knees
Prayerful pleads
With only myself to see
Myself begging on my knees
I am proud of me
Usually
Even when I’m on my knees
And maybe
Especially

Disabuse yourself of the notion
She needs saving
You guys get that stuck in your mind
She is not a damsel in distress
She is a bored badd *****
She’s the one a
Who’s a gonna
Save you
You silly fool

I wanna tickle him in his happy place
Put a big smile on his face
**** him up til he is spent
Make him wonder where his inhibitions went
Bring him to the brink
And all that he can think
Is jumping over the ledge
Trembling there, at the edge
And then I set him free
Into the realm of ecstasy
That is where he’ll be
Whenever he gets under me

It’s like untying a knot
Work this lace loose
The next and the next
So many
It’s going very slowly
One day
We both will be free
If you happen to want
Freedom from me

If you wrote a poem for me
It would be beautiful to see
Even if it was angry
But
I don't think it would be
Though your draw was
Unpredictability
I'm not sure if I know you
But I'm pretty sure you know me

You have the ladies
Falling about themselves
To tell you how great you are
And you patiently thank
And compliment back
Rewarding them
With something they lack
You wear it well
That Lady Spell

Do you know me by now?  
Are you paying attention?
Do you consider any potential
Or is it an empty well
Halfway full
Or somewhere in between
Either side?
Is it a matter of pride
Annoyance
Or somewhere in between
Either side?
Does my pushing pressure
Or motivate?  
Has it always been too late?

The alpha has made me howl
Without touch
Or even presence
Yet there he is
And here I am
Howling
To him
Instead of the moon

You punched above your league
You knew it
She didn’t
She believed in your superiority
Only because she had a hard time
Seeing
Herself
For her true worth
She only saw
What she was made to believe
By a society
That cannot recognize
Leagues

You thought you left her with scars
But she walked away with lessons

No choice
Fleeing
No voice
Or destination
Just heading out
Somewhere
As quietly as possible
Leaving behind
All that was possible
To find a new story
While taking the old one with
Uncertainty is better
Than steady decline
It's best to get off before the drop

Letting go is easy
When it wasn’t real
So why is this hard?
Thin air and thought patterns
Connection invented
Somehow cemented
Me to this yard
Even though it isn’t real
Letting go is hard

My children are my legacy
But they are grown
And don’t need me
So now I write my poetry

I did learn a lesson
In case you were wondering
Not that it will bring you back around
Or change anything
The lesson learned
Is only applicable
To the rare situation
That happens to involve you
I think you mighta paid a price
For me to learn that lesson, too
Someday I may
Get the chance at thanking you

Boredom buster
Writing poetry
Boring as it may be
Considering the mood
Of me
When writing boring poetry
Maybe it’s useless
Boring poetry
But not as useless
As writing nothing
Can be

I'm sayin' all the things that I know you'll like
Makin' good conversation
I gotta handle you just right
You know what I mean
I took you to an intimate restaurant
Then to a suggestive movie
There's nothin' left to talk about
Unless it's horizontally
Let's get physical, physical
I wanna get physical
Let's get into physical
Let me hear your body talk, your body talk
Let me hear your body talk
I've been patient, I've been good
Tried to keep my hands on the table
It's gettin' hard, this holdin' back
You know what I mean
I'm sure you'll understand my point of view
We know each other mentally
You gotta know that you're bringin' out
The animal in me

Letting go
Processed slow
Ain’t nothing else I got to show
You’ve already seen
You know what you know
Acceptance
Processed slow
Letting go