I am the persistent bee
Buzzing around for your honey
Nobody bothers me
Or gives me anything sweet
Beautiful flower I see
Distantly
Honeyless I still be
This is no existence
For a bee

It’s not empty if you can help
Maybe it’s just with positive vibes
And wishes
Helpless
With intention and direction
Is not hopeless

I ain’t got any poems in me today
I been hooting and hollering
So much to say
Received by deaf ears
Although that is unclear
Maybe he’s listening
And pretending not to hear
From my vantage point
I’m standing over a cavern
Screaming out
Incessantly
And even my echo is ignoring me
Tomorrow, probably
I’ll feel less hopelessly
But today
I don’t particularly like being me
Put this out for all to see
And I’m starting to feel them laughing at me
Tomorrow, maybe
I’ll feel differently
I hope so
But that’s only
The pilot light I must burn
When I’m feeling dark
And lonely and fried
Hope is sometimes
The only thing upon which I can rely

Sooner than expected
Trepidatious
Blessing
Me messing
With myself
My gift horse
Tongues are always checked

It’s not a necessity
You and me
But it feels like
It really should be
Someday
Maybe
Hopefully

What do I say
When I’ve probably said it all?
I gave you a detailed outline
Of the entire rise
And now, the fall
And the risk of being redundant
Ringing and ringing
While you avoid the call
Yet
Here I stay
Ready and willing
To repeat it all
Do you like to listen
Or ignore me completely?
Do you pay attention
Oh so discreetly?
Or do you wish I’d leave and hush up
Do I knock incessantly
On a door you never want to open
Do you want me to leave
And abandon the hoping
Is it an embarrassment to you
This desperate girl
Or am I shaming myself?
I could pretend
To disavow
The things I said I felt
But that wouldn’t be real
And I got so much more to feel
And probably no new way to say it
In any event
Until you tell me to go
I’ll be here to display it

If I ever find where I’m going
I hope it’s a nice place

And the banjo has come out of it’s case
Spectacular finger picking awaits
Orchestrated with the fates
Tales be told about it someday
This music is gonna stay

Those who have been conned
Will never admit
That’s how it be
And will really believe
The fool is me
And who knows
Maybe that is
The way it be

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of livin' like a blind man
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
And this is how you remind me

This is how you remind me of what I really am
This is how you remind me of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waitin' on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breakin'
And I've been wrong, I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream, "Are we havin' fun yet?

It's not like you didn't know that
I said, "I love you," and I swear I still do
And it must have been so bad
'Cause livin' with me must have **** near killed you

And this is how you remind me of what I really am
This is how you remind me of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waitin' on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breakin'
And I've been wrong, I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream, "Are we havin' fun yet?"

Lots of bruises
Cuts and scrapes
Pound of flesh
Life will take
Healing anyway
Just to spit in trouble’s face

Rarity is a dime
A dozen
The human condition
Priceless and cheap
Each unique
Yet somehow
Predictable

There is no way out
There is only a way through
We’re all on the path
I do not feel bad for you
You’ve got more than most
Talent and gumption
And the bravery to express it,
Too
Get on with the pity party
Again
And then get over it, too
**** goes all awry on your path
When you start feeling too bad for you

He is not
Unaware
I am not
Impatient
I hoped for immediacy
But didn’t rely on silly dreams
For it to turn out to be
Working at it
Demonstrating myself worthy
If he would have seen
And felt the need
Too quickly
It wouldn’t have been right
It should take the effort
Of many nights
To make something so right
He is not unaware of me
But he’s unaware of who I really be
He’d be a fool to believe what he sees
Quickly
Through invisible words
And deeds
I am not impatient

I have no follow through
When it comes to denying myself of you
And vice versa, too
The desire to share
Myself
To you
More compulsion
If I’m being true
Not sure what a girl can do
Once she’s become an addict of you
In my veins and bloodstream
My waking thoughts and sleeping dreams
I am exactly as I seem
Hopelessly bound
Pitifully desperate broken wing moth
Open wound
Bleeding on your porch
Who needs a mess like that?  
Nobody but you
If you do
What you got
Inside of you?

He’s out of my league
By a hundred and twenty degrees
And all that really means
Is I can say my heart’s truth
Consequence free
I’m a perpetual youth
Holding a “Tiger Beat” magazine
Constant centerfold is he
Photographs speaking to me
Silently

I stood there
Looking at him
Adoringly
For faaaaaaar toooooo looooong
And then caught a big attitude
With him
Because he didn’t tell me to leave

You beautiful wuss
Imperfect and faulted you be
Pretending to ignore me
All publicly
But you and I both know
You come to see
Invisibly
Your superpower
In this realm
Andre the Mighty!
Is invisibility
Which happens to be
A handicap for me

No apologies
You never owed a thing to me
And everything I gave was free
I should be thanking you
For treating me respectfully
You could have made a circus show
With me the number one clown
You gave me a reason to grow
And did not let me down
Thank you
Thank you
Sir
You’ve been a noble man
And I know it ain’t going anywhere
But I dream because I can

I write him far-away poems
Jerking off in lamplight
Public *******
Reflecting back on my face
Screen attachment to a maybe
Baby

If I Were King Of The Forest not queen, not duke, not prince
My regal robes of the forest would be satin, not cotton, not chintz
I'd command each thing, be it fish or fowl, with a woof and a woof, and a royal
growl
As I'd click my heel all the trees would kneel and the mountains bow and the
bulls kowtow
And the sparrows would take wing, if I were king

I want to believe
You want to know me
Too old for foolish dreams
Too young to leave gracefully
I realize you can see
How bent and broken I be
If I were you
I probably
Would ignore me, too

We like to blame
Parents
The system
It’s all the same
It would be a pretty safe bet
There’s a break you didn’t get
You don’t dwell
But I can tell
You feel it in your very shell
Woulda, coulda, shoulda been
The chance that went to other men
Some wasted it
Some made it great
You’ll never know
What you woulda made
Of a better fate

There are things about you that are so beautiful
Like when you let your sensitive side show
Sometimes reluctantly
It always was a thrill to see
You used to routinely give me
The best compliments of my life
Completely accidentally
You just said what you happened to
Feel
And it was real
Nothing was contrived
For a while
And then everything was
You are my
"If only" guy

Simple and ignorant
Are nothing alike
Simple is genius in disguise
Ignorant is
Dummy on display

Between what you don’t know
And what I can’t see
We’re the least informed duo
In history
We are **** ******* cool, though
Admittedly

Be doubtful of assumptions made about
People
You don’t particularly like
Your view is skewed.
And you are probably blind to it

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly
I don’t know why she swallowed the fly
Perhaps she’ll die
She stayed far away from spiders, though
When something don’t taste right
Old ladies tend to know

I have nothing left to show you
My soul came through
I know you knew
You watched it grew
You saw it skew
Slip in the mud
Go for a loop
Some days I gave you a beaut  
There was a lot of ugly, too
I know you knew
I did all I could do
I know you knew

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
And emeralds from mountains ****** toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
And tell me that we belong together
And dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
And I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
And you're my survival, you're my livin' proof
My love is alive and not dead
And tell me that we belong together
And dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
And I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
And I dropped out, I burned up
I fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in and turned on
Remembered the thing that you, you said
And I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

I will stay in the back of your mind
I will stay there for years
Perhaps your whole life
And though it’s not the place
I’d choose to be
Any spot is fine for me
It’s your mind
So in it, you are the boss of where I will be

He’s ***** deep
In all of this
Losing sleep
Looking at me
That is what I want to see

He thought he forgot
How she thought
But it was more true
That he never knew

Your imaginary arms
Wrap around me
I feel you there
Always
What you would say
What you would think
I adjust accordingly
And try to live up
As I imagine you'd want me to be

My imagination dances
Around you
With you
Too
The rhythm
Of the both of us
Such an uplifting tune
You lead
I’ll follow
Through an imaginary ballroom
Where at this particular moment
You’re the pretend groom

I want to be his medicine
I want to heal his soul
I want to bring him peace
Like he has never known
I want to bring him chaos, too
I want to bring it all
Give him pain and comfort
With my wild call
He sits on perches
Preening, playing,
Perfect to view
He wants for nothing
So what’s a hen to do?
He does not sing or caw or call
He thinks he’s already said it all
And frankly he could stay silent
And still be worth the time
Quiet bird
He may be free
When his cage is only imaginary

The new mint chocolate chip tile
On words with friends
Only $9.99
Of real money
For that imaginary thing

I avoided you
Quietly
But you perceived
And became confused
And you felt insulted, too
You blamed me
For keeping my distance
And felt I was being unfair
You seemed to think I owed
You attention
Simply because I didn’t care
And the next thing I knew
You started to abuse
Calling names
Making up stories
Imagining I had hurt you
And the more I refused
To acknowledge your ruse
The angrier you got
In the imaginary war you fought
Between your ego
And the slight of being ignored
Such is the combatants
In many imaginary wars

It doesn’t exist
Anymore
It never really did
I built it up
Too much in my mind

He was just being kind

At least I’ve grown and matured
And this time I picked a great guy to catch feelings for

You are the pop up ad that has a
Teeny weeny
Wanna be unseeny
Microscopic X
Right next to the
HUGE
Buy now
Button
And now you’re tryna charge me
Extra
For opting out

Reading your poems
Made me figure you for
A boy of about sixteen
Imagine my surprise to
Find you’re a man who’s
Sixty three
At first I **** my teeth and think
“This dope is immature”
But being a romantic dreamer
Has a sweet and hopeful allure
So do ya thang
Wrinkled *******
And bring your knowledge to it
You can probably do it way better
Than those young boys do it

I enjoyed so much about you
But it wasn't enough for you
You needed to be seen as perfect
To judge my heart be true
You can't be perfect
And unwilling to take criticism
Perfect people
Know how to listen.

He cannot forgive himself for being imperfect
Doesn’t give himself any credit for being **** near close

I am the invisible girl
Wishing to be seen
But left alone
Impossible
Dreams

What’s it gonna take
To move on past you?
Surely there’s something a girl can do
You’ve probably still got the heart of
Every woman you’ve been through
Better, and smarter, and hotter than me
Sweating over you un-deliberately
I do so invisibly
Words through the air
Plague of overshare
Too much, or too little
Too far the gulf
Bridge unbuildable
And this **** part of my heart
Seems so unkillable
And all I can do
Is work on my skillable
Hoping you’ll feel big
Some errant syllable
And give me a nod
Or a smile
And that would keep this girl happy
For a long while
Reality tells me in no uncertainty
That you are not at all
Interested in me
But fantasy
Compels me to ignore
The truth I don’t want to see
I wonder how long
I will believe
In impossible possibilities

I do not take it personally
That you view me
So inconsequentially
Silly and frilly and spilly my guts
While you sit in gilded ruts
But who am I to judge or complain?
You and I, we ain’t the same
Despite my misguided illusion
And ignorant confusion
It ain’t you for me
And it ain’t me for you
And if I say it enough
I might believe it, too

Yep.  
We're all gonna die one day
It's not as profound as it seems

It is a quirk
Of art
That it is most appreciated
After the artist
Is dead
Quirks are usually cute
This one is just
Inevitable
Which probably means
It can't be a quirk
But it's not inevitable
Either
Maybe I'm the quirky one

It’s not like me to connect with some man
Over the internet
I wish I could
Fall into it from afar
Get the tingles and jingles
Long term
No matter where they are
But I’m not a long term tingler
Without real time
Association
I fall into heavy like
So often
But heavy like soon fades
Into “I sort of remember that guy”
Maybe the problem is me
And my unwillingness to really try
But my flakiness has been put to good use
I’m the poet with
Infinite muse

The girl I’m meant to be
Will be thanking me
For writing all this poetry