Outside
Alone
And the sounds
Sometimes just the wind
Peaceful
Even with birds
Fighting in background
Tom cats wailing
Tortured haunts of the quiet
Somehow
It’s still peaceful
Outside
Alone

Using words
One
Or two
At a time
Per line
Has it’s place
I suppose
But none of it flows
It’s choppy
Erratic
Pitter and Pattic
Walking up spiral steps
To reach a low attic
Sometimes it’s yep
Most times it’s a nope
But when it’s a yep
It can be really dope
Easy to read
Is not usually
The goal of poetry

Pipe-smoking
Ill mannered
And lazy
Poets get a bad rep
Many don't smoke
And many work hard
But most are just crazy
As heck

The difference is I send my daughter
Current funny or fun pictures
From my phone
Throughout the day
Not considering the mess in the
Background
Has ruined her whole day
I didn’t get hit in the face
With the mess the kids had made
I got to really be gone

Maybe I didn’t try hard enough
But we both know that’s not true
I suppose I could have tried longer
If I was stronger
But I am a spineless shrew
I can blame it on my invisibility
But I know you could hear me speak
I’ve got no excuse
And you’ve got plenty
But frankly, sir
It would have been easy
For you to just tell me to leave
It wasn’t your responsibility
We both know that to be true
But when you’re pretending
To be unaware
There’s no such thing as
True and fair

Mistakes on the front page
At first it annoyed me
Then it made me proud
To belong to a community
That celebrates imperfection
Fluid birth
And fluid beauty
Feels like the way it’s supposed to be

I wonder if he would notice my absence
Whether by something
Inexplicable missing
Or
Would he recognize
What’s missing was me
Would he come looking
Or would he feel free?
I don’t have the will to test my theory
But I believe he would feel
The absence of me

I heard you crying loud
All the way across town
And it’s me out on the prowl
As you sit around feeling sorry for yourself
Well, don’t get lonely now, and dry your whining eyes
I’m just roaming for the moment
Sleazin’ my backyard
So don’t get so uptight
You been thinking about ditching me
No time to search the world around
Cuz you know where I’ll be found
When I come around
Well, I heard it all before
So don’t knock down my door
I’m a loser and a user, so I don’t need no accuser
To try and **** me down, because I know you’re right
So go do what you like
Make sure you do it wise
You may find out
That your self doubt
Means nothing was ever there
You can’t go forcing something if it’s just not right
No time to search the world around
Cuz you know where I’ll be found
When I come around

My guy is a diamond
Precious and rare
So sparkly and beautiful, too

My guy is platinum
Hard as metal
Adorning my body
Almost a jewel

My guy is silver
He could be better
But still worth wearing outside

My guy is steel
Strong and true
And he is almost stainless
Too

My guy is a rusty old bike
On which I used to race
But our riding days are over
He’s rotting away without a trace

I want to bring you peace
But that may be unlikely
I’m not the quiet type
I’m chaotic and flippy
All over the place
Yet steady and fun
A little too trippy
But a fun break from reality
Never hurt anyone
When I know the way
Back to sanity
Maybe you could
Go to crazy with me
And there we might find
The peace we seek

Your identity
Is wrapped in the chains
Of victimhood
Perhaps you don’t know how to be
Anything else
You call yourself a survivor
With fan fare
And tassels
Dwelling on survival
Is dwelling on what you survived
Free yourself of the shackles
That chain you to your weakness
Pretending you are not tied
Focused on how you got out
Keeps you on the inside

On a warm summer's evening
On a train bound for nowhere
I met up with a gambler
We were both too tired to sleep
So we took turns a-starin'
Out the window at the darkness
The boredom overtook us
And he began to speak

He said, "Son, I've made a life
Out of readin' people's faces
And knowin' what the cards were
By the way they held their eyes.
So if you don't mind my sayin'
I can see you're out of aces
For a taste of your whiskey
I'll give you some advice."

So I handed him my bottle
And he drank down my last swallow
Then he bummed a cigarette
And asked me for a light
And the night got deathly quiet
And his face lost all expression
Said, "If you're gonna play the game, boy,
You gotta learn to play it right.

You got to know when to hold 'em,
Know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away,
And know when to run.
You never count your money
When you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin'
When the dealing's done.

Every gambler knows
That the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away
And knowin' what to keep.
'Cause every hand's a winner,
And every hand's a loser,
And the best that you can hope for
Is to die in your sleep."

And when he finished speakin'
He turned back toward the window
Crushed out his cigarette
And faded off to sleep
And somewhere in the darkness
The gambler he broke even
And in his final words
I found an ace that I could keep

I will stay in the back of your mind
I will stay there for years
Perhaps your whole life
And though it’s not the place
I’d choose to be
Any spot is fine for me
It’s your mind
So in it, you are the boss of where I will be

I thought
By writing poetry
I'd be using words like iridescent
Or inevitability
But I'm just a blue collar girl
So I use glow
Or surely
To portray the same words
Less glamorously

I can understand why our ancestors
Didn’t use their feet like hands
But that’s one thing I wish we had kept
On our journey from monkey to man

I am the freak
Who pretends to be normal
But then again, so are you
There ain’t no “normal” humans
Just things we don’t tell other people we do

Absence is a non-violent
Rejection that is
Extremely painful
Torture endured
Often by people who never say “ouch”
Admission that one’s absence is painful
Feels like breaking off a piece of
My inner self
And saying “hold this, please.”
Too much pressure to put on anybody
To let them know how much they effect me
So I anxiously await their return
Silently
Pretending I’m ok
With them going away

Bringing it to ya
Boo
Something you never before knew
Me
The one and only
Never been seen
In the entirety of history
Until
Me
A golden rarity
Piece that fits so perfectly
Maybe
You will never know
Unless you try to see

I had a stroke
And almost lost hope
Barely escaped death's
Gnarly claws
But jeesch!
What's a fifty year old lady got to do
To get her
Menopause?

Cheering and cheering
Til your lungs get sore
And you’re not even sure
Who you’re rooting for
Anymore

Shall I write you poetry?
What is it you need to see
That would make you want to know me?

I see you
Following after that boy
You've attached your soul to him
He treats you like a hag
While you treat him like a king
He puts you down
And ***** your spirit
We all tell you of this
But you refuse to hear it
And it's the you that we
Knew
Before he made you do
All the things so not you
That we sorely miss

With you
You carry the
Mighty Pen
Live a thousand lives
Within the Mighty Pen
Obscurity to mainstream
Back around again
Magic in perpetuity
Within the Mighty Pen

He’s such an amazing guy
Who’s only fault is that
He looks like Harvey Weinstein
Oh my

My grandkids are playing with an
Adjustable bendy track
On which to run their cars
And this has quickly escalated into the
Race track wars
Of course
It is true
All the pieces look exactly the same
But
There is a particularly special piece
The little one thinks she has claimed
And now, out of the fifty other racetrack
Pieces
That could do the job
Her older brother
NEEDS that one
Particular piece
Apparently
For no other reason than
To **** with me

It was a waste
Adding in simply to agree
When anybody
Who disagreed
Would believably be
Claiming insanity
But I put two cents in
Seems too petty small
I wonder if the millions of two cents
Even add up
At all

Getting old
Upcoming change
What smoking does to my health
That my grandson took a ****
When his mom will be home in two minutes

C’mon Baby
Bring me there
You know where
On the journey from
Your mind
To mine
And maybe back again
Created with a pen
And then it takes me back
A thousand times again
Begging for attention
Never enough
There will ever be
You are like a drug to me

You didn’t steal my heart
But you made it work real hard
Beating intensely
Swelling up so immensely
And all of those flutters and skips
Who woulda thought
A heart could do flips?  
Beautiful, smart, artistic man
You’ve never been part of the plan
Suddenly there you are
Or are you here?
Who knows?
But I’d go anywhere
My heart don’t want to hear
That I’d be willing to walk right there
I know I can think it all I want
And my heart will never know
It’s caused me lots of pain
That my heart never listens to my brain

He walked into the room without knowing he was the only one who had a chair

One day I am going to know what he smells like

It’s not a necessity
You and me
But it feels like
It really should be
Someday
Maybe
Hopefully

It wasn’t ever gonna be
So I destroyed it purposely
That way I could make myself believe
The rejection came from me
Minds play games
Desperately
I wonder how long it will be
Until I stop writing him poetry

Hey girls, gather round
Listen to what I'm puttin' down
Hey, baby, I'm your handy man
I'm not the kind that uses pencil or rule
I'm handy with the love and I'm no fool
I fix broken hearts, I know I truly can
If your broken heart, she needs repair
Then I'm the man to see, I whisper sweet things
You tell all your friends, they'll come running to me
Here is the main thing I want to say
I'm busy twenty four hours a day
I fix broken hearts, I know that I truly can
Come, come, come, come, come, come, come
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Come, come, come, come, come, come, come, oh now
They'll come runnin' to me
Here is the main thing I want to say
I'm busy twenty four hours a day
I fix broken hearts, baby I'm your handy man
Come, come, come, come, come, come, come
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I wanna tickle him in his happy place
Put a big smile on his face
**** him up til he is spent
Make him wonder where his inhibitions went
Bring him to the brink
And all that he can think
Is jumping over the ledge
Trembling there, at the edge
And then I set him free
Into the realm of ecstasy
That is where he’ll be
Whenever he gets under me

I want to believe
You want to know me
Too old for foolish dreams
Too young to leave gracefully
I realize you can see
How bent and broken I be
If I were you
I probably
Would ignore me, too

Your apology came with a guilt trip
That's not an apology
Or even an excuse
You would have done better to say nothing
Than something with so little use

The weary soul on music
Is not so tired

Mister
Ain’t you gonna change those clothes?
It’s a sorta cute outfit
I suppose
But pretty soon
That whole ensemble
Is gonna get up and walk on its own

You care too much
It drains your spirit
It's hardening your touch
And aging your soul
I know the polar bears can't eat
But starving yourself won't help
Before you can save the world
You must take care of yourself

This is me
Again
Offering the rare and exotic
Five million in a lifetime
Opportunity
To talk to me
By tomorrow
It’ll be five million and three

I’d like to say I remember you fondly
All you past boyfriends of mine
Some of you, I still think about
But
Most of you, I’ve forgotten by now
It’s not that you mean nothing to me
I’m sure I learned something from you
And if you learned anything from me
You’ll have forgotten me too

Action speaks louder than words
But inaction
SCRRREEEEAAAAMMMMSSSSS
Silently

Is he even paying attention to me?
He’s paying some attention to me!
He’s paying a lot of attention to me
I am so happy
He’s paying a lot of attention to me
He’s paying some attention to me!
Is he even paying attention to me?

And the banjo has come out of it’s case
Spectacular finger picking awaits
Orchestrated with the fates
Tales be told about it someday
This music is gonna stay

You’re always trying too hard
Laughing the loudest
Celebrating the most vigorously
And wailing at sad times
Almost inappropriately
You must feel something true
Under all that bravado
It’s a backwards way
Of not letting the real you show
Often the biggest feelings we see
Are just a smoke screen
For no feelings at all

Maybe it will never be
Between you and me
I can’t let go of the fantasy
Until you set me free
I realize it’s not fair
To put the burden on you
A girl shows up from nowhere
And won’t let go until you do
You ignore, and it will continue
And I come back and play a fool
I been hoping and praying
For someone to make me forget about you
And that’s where we’re at now
But not really
There is no “we”
It’s only me
Talking to myself
In front of everybody
Wondering if you even see
I don’t know what would be
More disappointing for me
If you have no idea I’m here
Or if you actively
Ignore me

No direction
Cooperative weather
Nature’s broom
Coming through
Out with the old
In with the new
Windy days
Can be used by you
To send negativity away on the wind
Through intention
And believing that’s what
Mother Nature can do

I wish I was the type of romantic
Who felt confident in making
Forever promises
I suppose the right one
Doesn’t exist for me
I’m luckier than most
In lots of other ways
A one and only
Might be too much to hope for
Though so many people seem to find it
Or think they’ve found it
In reality
Very few actually do
But even still
They tried
It’s probably me who is the fool

You blame him for it all
Claim he ruined you
But you were already
Bent and broken
Before that guy came through
And since you been around
He got banged up
Too