I don't expect an apology
In fact
You probably think you're
Owed one from me
You like to twist reality
And I think you might be
Maybe crazy

It's just how it goes down
Sometimes
Two people with all the ingredients
For a perfect romance
But the meats and the vegetables
Just will not dance
And we wind up with
Gross on our plate
Being with you
Is like mixing parmesan cheese
With Boston baked beans
At first it's like
"Hmmm, it might be good."
Til the beans and the cheese
Meet in your mouth
And you no longer play with
Your food

It was like in the cartoons
When gravity doesn't work
If you think you're standing on Something solid
And then I looked down
And realized I wasn't on ground
And you had no wings to be found
Not sure how we got up here
But it's painfully clear
We're about to fall down

I am a troll
This I know
Digging for buried gems
Sometimes it takes finessing
Sometimes it's confrontation
But there's usually a gem in there
Upon some contemplation
I bug some people
Really much
Lots of troll-hating
But digging for some hidden gems
Should not be a sin

You want to be his savior
And thus you want him to
Fail
So you can swoosh in
With wind in your sail
And prove to him, with you he is blessed
But if it really were
There would be no need for the test
And you could win him at his best

I do my **** talkin'
In prose
Even though nobody knows
Who the intended target may be
Master ninja **** talker poet
That is me

You are so smart
But so dramatic
You could really be a thoughful person
If you thought about other people
I see it in you
The desire to care
But you just can't seem to find it
In there

You're the usual compliment guy
Telling women how beautiful they are
And how much better you would treat them than their boyfriend
Who you keep insulting
You are like the ***
Picking through bones at the junkyard
Searching for a part you can use
With no care factor about the
Wreckage you rip it from
But at least you found that usable part
And now you convince yourself that
The car is better off without it
And aren't you so great
You scrapped that girl for junk parts
And blamed it all on her ex mate
Junkyard jockeys, like you
Always come in late

Internetly
There's nothing I cannot be
I can pretend I am rich
Or young, or anyone
But me
But that doesn't work
With poetry
It strips me bare
For all to see

It's hard to find a boring meme
You seem to have a knack
I don't wanna be the one
To have to tell you
Your meme judger
Is just
Out of whack
I suppose it would be fine
In a lineup of one or two
But you share them en masses
And in bulk
And now I've got to wade on through
There's the one about the sick kid
Complete with image of his twisted leg
And a "inspirational" note
About how his father walked ten miles to beg
Now dad has a bike
Give the meme a like
Dad now rides his bike
To beg
Instead of taking a long hike
Combined with hundreds
Of such things
All across your feed
I'd say you've done the impossible
And found lots of boring memes

The rebellion at the chicken farm
Started with Harley Hen
When she noticed any bird that left
Never returned again
Plus
The **** covering the floor
Air all choked with funk
Out there
Harley imagined
There must be no gunk
Farmer Dave came through
And before he closed the door
The chickens were all upon him
Ready to settle the score
Pecking, clawing, cackling such
Farmer Dave has lost his touch
Covering his eyes and head
Farmer Dave
Posed no threat
Chickens out into fresh air
Running round from here to there
Every direction
All over town
Farmer Dave's chickens
Bullying everyone around
Then the humans
Formed their battle plan
Rounding up chickens
And frying pans
All those uppity chickens
Will surely boil
They'll become stew for sure
But every chicken just
Disappeared
Seen again never more
Of course, this started rumors
Of the spooky
Scary town
In which the local chickens
Ran the humans down

I beleive you
Occasionally
That your world is so dreary
I can tell
Your day was bad
But really
What's the difference
Every day is a disaster for you
All at your insistence
You woke up ready to have a crisis
You want to be talked about
You think if your life ain't a mess
You've got no social clout
Nobody's interested in the happy
When you've got no cleavage
But you've traded attention
Of suggestive poses
With suicidal posing
Does the attention
From crying about how you want to die
Make you feel alive?

You have a power over me
The power to annoy
You just hit an
Uncomfortable chord
And as strange as it may seem
That whiny twang
Is still necessary
To remind the ego in me
That I am faulted, and so petty

I think
Maybe
You're the man of my dreams
After a long night of drinking
You are the perfect guy
When I'm not capable
Of thinking

I only know you
Invisibly
Your face is something
I've yet to see
I know your heart
What's in your soul
I must admit
It's beautiful
It makes me wonder
What I'll see
If you turn out to be
Really ugly

Do some trees
I wonder
Get overcome
And choked out
By the leaves
They shed
In windless
Forests?

You talk like you're the expert
On almost everything
Once you make your statement
You act like it came from King
And all of us should bow down
To the wisdom that you bring
But a genuis is smart enough to know
They don't really know
Anything

You missed an exciting year
Grampa
You did get to see
The first black president
So much you got to see
When you had an entire childhood
Without even knowing about tv
Yet, you saw the world
Through war and peaceful means
Inventions of things
That once seemed like fantasies
You saw smartphones
In almost every pocket
When you once celebrated
The rotary, and then
The touch tone
Such technology that must have seemed!
Maybe when you were a kid
You dreamed of flying cars
But the miraculous inventions
You witnessed
Have them beat by far
We don't have robot maids
And we haven't yet cured baldness
And as far as politics
The nation is a mess
I think you'd be *******
About that
I suppose, if there was ever a time to
Exit Earth
Stage left
You got a good cue
But that don't stop me
From sorely missing you

You fell for an illusion
The man he wanted to be
At the moment
You see
Because he was temporarily lonely
And even though he didn't feel
All the things he said was real
The illusion was so true
For you
You're hopelessly committed
To someone you never knew

Never underestimate the power of
Stupid people
In large groups

Mostly I don't like you
Because of your hypocrisy
You have rules for you
And then, for everybody
You only respect physical strength
And flashy new money
You have no sense of fairness
No sense of decency
I wish I could avoid you
All and entirely
But you are there
And I pretend
Not to see

Dark times
Lately
Swimming in the murky waters
Of irony
A pimple long ready to burst
A ***** ***** mess
And the guilty party
Still insists they are the best
It seems to be the war
Of the self-entitled brats
Who think they deserve
To prosper
Cuz they got their old money
Search around there somewhere
And there's some form of slavery
And they walk around
Proud as can be

You have engulfed yourselves
In the flames of your lost cause
To see it through
You will ignore laws
Show your own
Hypocrisies
Whine and cry
And moan about imaginary
Disparities
You have become more
Irritating
Than an infestation
Of fleas

You have invaded my life
Your presence is in every song I hear
I seem to feel you everywhere
A commercial on tv
Reminds me of you and me
You're in the exciting
And in the mundane
You're in me
Like wet in rain
And I'm not sure
I'll ever be the same

Here now
Hopefully
Comes a celebration of
The ordinary
The man who doesn't
Entertain or incite
The righteously unright
The overly uptight
Armed and angry
It's a disease
The blinding need
To think self righteously
While blaming the needy
For your extra unmet "needs"
But now you live vicariously
Through those you envy for their greed
Out of shape and out of steam
And this is who
You
Choose to envy
We need to look up to
The ordinary

There they go
The lives you hold
You've got all sorts over there
With all the shared selfies
Committing a crime
Or the man with the melting hair
They're all on the grift
Living luxuriously
While looking down on you and me
Yet this is the leaders we
Chose to be
This craziness goes deeper than
Envy or greed
It's more primal than just the need to
Compete
When twisted by puppeteers
It's a blind zombie fleet
Balling their fists
And kicking their feet
Moaning and wailing
Realization of failing
Staring them right in the eye
Looking aghast at a madman
And admitting
"I followed that guy."

Can someone please find a poetic way of saying, "our president is exactly like Ted Baxter from The Mary Tyler Moore Show?"

I wish I could be impressed
And maybe I should be
You obviously tried way too hard
And I can tell you did it for me
But how can I possibly ignore
That you tried too hard
So inadequately?

Road rage
While on foot
Everywhere
Crust and soot
Clogging pores and pipes
Wailing yips of
The woefully over-hyped
Many who walked in the dark
Manage now to see
And understand the destruction
Of their complacency
I suppose, one day
We shall see
What becomes of those
Who made this come to be

Can you feel it
When you're on my mind
Is there a ringing in your ear?
Persistent probably,
Sometimes
Or maybe it's always there

When your profile pic is of your dog
I can't figure if you're the most
Unfortunate soul
Or the luckiest

It's the talent
Of making people bored
With an overload of uninspired
Drivel
The talent is in believing
It's not bored and
Uninspired
Kind of how I am ignoring how
Bored and uninspired this
Drivel is
It's going no where
Really
But it's started
So it must go somewhere
Right?
Another useless poem
Heading off
Taillights in the night

Sometimes I forget
The difference between
The slip in a fortune cookie
And poetry

It wasn't a poem that came out
Random words that sounded
Sort of philosophical
Without knowing their meaning
Like existential
Which sounds intelligential
If you're not guessing
At the definition
But the work was liked
And loved and egos rubbed
And we've created a
Monstersaurus
Just once, I'd like to see her write
Without employing her
Thesaurus

He didn't break you
You were already broken
He just played with you
Indelicately
It will be him
To whom the blame switches
For all your failures and faults
In order to avoid blaming yourself
Your mind does somersaults

Now you're just spitting out
Hollow air
Useless words
Nothing there
You were genius
Before people started noticing
How good you were
And suddenly
You're putting out nonsense
And ****** content
Unfinished,
And not meant
To make it past the drafts
But you were brilliant once
And you can rest on your past

He's the one I dream about
But won't admit it to myself
Or anyone else
I call out another man's name
When asked who is the best
But my secret
Wish
Is for the one
I never name
I keep him in my heart
And he has the brightest flame

Here we are
Bored with eachother
Frankly, I couldn't care less
About your day
And how it was a mess
I know you couldn't care less
About mine
Either
Because you never ask
You want to know things
Like where your boots are
Or what time is supper
But not where I learned
How to cook it
We got a tree full with fruits of
Conversations
Yet neither cares to shook it
Overripe fruit
Rotting on the limb
We sit here now
Our light has dimmed
No need for tears
Or blames or angryness
But frankly, however it goes down
It has to go down
Because I can't care any less

Maybe I might
Have a crush on you
Except I don't pay attention
To half of the things you do

One time
You took me horseback riding
With a guide
And rented horses
I focused on how romantic it was
But I couldn't help but notice
How much that horse
You rode
Hated you

They say there's no accounting for taste
It's never been so clear
Everywhere I look
There's some ******* there
Not ******* that
Some ******* out
It's not the sweep-up kind
It's some *******
Some human brought in
And we act like we don't mind
In fact, as it stands
I seem to find
******* intoxicating
Sometime today, I'll bet
I'll give *******
An over-rating
And people will say
"That's *******,"
And I'll say
"They're all just hating"
I got *******, so do you
And through it we're all wading

Poetry is my ego
Talking through me
It's my words
In my world
And I am the deity
In the world
Of my poetry

Fake friends are worse than enemies
They love you so much in the
Fairweather breeze
Frigid winds always come
Eventually
And that's when
You figure out
Who's the fake friend

The motivator
Has a thankless task
Nobody wants a kick in the ***
Rolling eyes
Loud sighs
Lots of whines and whys
Poor motivator
Can't make it no more
Now jumping off
Fifth story floor

My ten year old grandson
The scientist
Doesn't eat like me or you
Since he has informed me
He infuses salt into his food
I told him I thinkle
We all just sprinkle

Listen mister, misses
Finishing each thing you do
With
"LIKE A BOSS"
Says nothing about you
Except that you're a braggidy poo
Let someone else
Do that for you

Steppin out
I suppose
But the boundaries
Belong where they are
And even though they're indistinct
I know you see them there
You want to skirt them
Push the curve
It's really a beautiful goal
But just remember
The world is not kind to
A beautiful soul

Your soul is old
But your problems are young
It's a dichotomy
The part of the journey
With the fork in the road
That hits right between
The young and the old
You stare down the problem
Quizzicaly
And the best you can do is say
"Ahhh!  **** me!"

You want to know
If you hurt my soul
If I sit and pine for you
Not sure why you're asking
Or why you care
Cuz I know you don't pine for me too
At least not in a normal way
Where you miss and long and wish to stay
You are such an attention queen
You want me to write you poetry
It seems to be
That you only like immortal me

I am the poet
Which makes me the queen
The Queen
Of this land I create
With my brain
With my words
This is my world
And nothing is left up to fate
And dontcha know it
Why not?
I'll make the sky green
Duly banish all creepy ****
And invite
The tastefully obscene
My world is full of things like that
Of which there is no clear line
But all worlds are like that
Too
And that's why this world's mine