Sometimes there is only the long way
It’s a magic road that sets me back,
The second I take a shortcut
And the road is already impossibly long
It is worth going
If you are there
And if you are not
There have been sunny days
And enthralling breezes
It was worth going
Either way

The perfect poem exists
But not
It’s the one that jumps into your mind
When you don’t have the time
To commit it to permanency
And as much as you try to
Grasp at the vapors
It will forever remain a mystery
But isn’t that what perfect things are supposed to be?

I wonder if he would notice my absence
Whether by something
Inexplicable missing
Or
Would he recognize
What’s missing was me
Would he come looking
Or would he feel free?
I don’t have the will to test my theory
But I believe he would feel
The absence of me

What you see
Is only me
Standing here, singularly
Invisible to the naked eye
My ancestral team
Riding hard and riding high
The dirt you do may get past me
But I promise you, Boo
They will see

It was over
Their relationship hit the skids
Long before they got out of it
He was the one who finally vocalized
Tensely, concerned for her pride
He took the blame
And pretended to be in lots of pain
Crying and saying how sorry he was
But they have to admit they’re not in love
And so
On it goes
A couple of days
And then she shows
On his job sites
Front yard middle of the nights
Friends’ houses
Friends’ mommas’ houses
Bar he occasionally goes
If he was somewhere
She was likely to show
And he pretended she wasn’t there
While she sat in some corner chair
Seemingly extremely interested in the menu
Or a poor patron , to serve as her tool
Who just wanted an excuse to move his stool
And after a few months of this
He finally called and said “cut the ****”
But all she heard was the phone ring
And his voice on the other end
And now she’s telling everybody
“Can you believe he is still calling me!?”
And now he’s back at square one
Because she won’t accept he’s really done

I am an insignificant
Frail and faulted human being
So when it comes to questioning
The powers that be
It is extremely presumptuous of me
But I can’t help but wonder
When it comes to armpit and ***** hair
“**** it, Mother Nature;
Was that really necessary?”

Don’t choose me
If you have to choose
I’m going to be
With one
Who cannot help
But be
With me

I look at the door
Hopefully
Every time
A shadow appears

Awaiting your entrance
Breathlessly
Your appearance is
A sunrise to me
A more beautiful sight
I never did see

I’ve been well loved by many
But I’ve been well hated too
With the right smarmy attitude
The haters can bring the best out of you
Thank you to all those *******
Wishing sadness, talking ****
Without the motivation
To prove you wrong
I surely couldn’t have accomplished
Half of it

I am woefully unprepared for his charm
His undeniable masculinity
Surely got the better of me
When combined with his
Humility
And his ability
To be so in touch with his femininity
So naturally and comfortably
Such a rare and precious being
Who somehow doesn’t see
That he is out of my league
He insists we are equally
Lucky
To my face
And then tells his friends
He is luckier than me
Whichever one is luckier
Seems to be the main thing
Upon which we cannot agree

What she could have been thinking
I have no clue
Denying a beautiful man like you
Whatever her reasons
They must have been unavoidable
It would take a force of nature
To get me unglued
From a sensitive
Intelligent
Beautiful
Man like you
I cannot help but feel
That you have been kissing a fool

No direction
Cooperative weather
Nature’s broom
Coming through
Out with the old
In with the new
Windy days
Can be used by you
To send negativity away on the wind
Through intention
And believing that’s what
Mother Nature can do

Windy days
Mother Nature blowing the dust away
If you learn to let go
Of unwanted parts in your soul
You can blow it away on the wind
It is a “witchy” thing to do
And maybe it is magic,
But wind is magic, too
It is possible to blow away
Dusty parts of yourself
Psyche
Being
That need to go
If you know
There is such a thing
As Magic wind

He is not
Unaware
I am not
Impatient
I hoped for immediacy
But didn’t rely on silly dreams
For it to turn out to be
Working at it
Demonstrating myself worthy
If he would have seen
And felt the need
Too quickly
It wouldn’t have been right
It should take the effort
Of many nights
To make something so right
He is not unaware of me
But he’s unaware of who I really be
He’d be a fool to believe what he sees
Quickly
Through invisible words
And deeds
I am not impatient

You’re not not there
You got there long ago
But now your eyes have focused
Upon the horizon
There it is
Between you
And resistant distance
Not not achievable
You’re not trying to grow wings
But to grow your soul
Into undeniable
To even yourself
Evolve
Enhance
From “there.”
There is no rule
That one person cannot
Accomplish
Two impossible things
There is always
Not here

Can you feel what you haven’t discovered?
Do you hear the call of this unknown lover?  
Pulling your consciousness to me
With sheer will
And the intense strength of my desire
Can you perceive the warmth of this
Invisible fire?
Can you feel my wishes taking you higher?
I’m burning for your cool
Let me be your fool
I’ll never give up on you
And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do
I wonder if you feel that, too

Anyone can find someone
When just anyone will do
But for some of us
There’s just one of us
Who can complete the one
To two
And for me
That one of us
Is you

I avoided you
Quietly
But you perceived
And became confused
And you felt insulted, too
You blamed me
For keeping my distance
And felt I was being unfair
You seemed to think I owed
You attention
Simply because I didn’t care
And the next thing I knew
You started to abuse
Calling names
Making up stories
Imagining I had hurt you
And the more I refused
To acknowledge your ruse
The angrier you got
In the imaginary war you fought
Between your ego
And the slight of being ignored
Such is the combatants
In many imaginary wars

I read your poetry
And pretend to myself
You’re writing for me
In my imagination
You and I could be
Something incredible
Though unlikely
But isn’t that the way
Of all of the best love stories?
They come out of the blue
An unbelievable fantasy
That somehow comes true
That could be
You and me
And as I write this
I wonder if you’ll see
And pretend it’s for you
Which of course, it will be
And you’ll be sitting there
Thinking how it’s unlikely
But isn’t that how
Most truths start out to be?
The possibility
Of you and me
Unlikely fantasy

I been through some ****
Soul crushing, unbelievable
“How the hell did you get through it?”
Type ****
But I did get through
Past and over
You won’t see or hear me
Use it as a sob story
Or a crutch
Or a “this is why I **** up so much”
I **** up plenty
Surely do
But each **** up is something new
Not because of damage to
My ego or psyche over what I’ve been through
All that made me stronger
Evolved courageous
Unstoppable baddass is me
No crying about what should have been
Or didn’t happen
Or how much better it used to be
It’s possible to go through lots of ****
And still wind up happy

I wear my desperation for him
On my sleeve
On my legs
On my chest
And all over me
I put up no illusions
Of how I hope it to be
Plenty of delusions
And nutty dreams
I carry with me
And show them to him
Honestly
I am the “crazy”  lady
He knows he can believe
Lusting for him
And writing him poetry

We can rely on each other
Take from me
What you lack
I give it so willingly
And you give to me
What you have in abundance
Back
And then forward we be
Or sideways sometimes
Whichever way
On a brand new day
Leaning, then leading
Leaving, then greeting
Ignoring, then heeding
Giving, then pleading
Numbness, then feeling
From floor to the ceiling
All through every corner
And cranny and nook
Illuminate, and take a look
Spiders scatter
Cobwebs cleaned
We can rely on each other
Take this from me

I am an American poet
As of now
So very few know it
But when I am dead
My poems will be read
In halls of American schools
And when I am assigned
The kids won’t even mind
They will think my poems are so cool
And if this doesn’t happen
I’ll never know
So I’m a future famous poet
Because I believe it will be so

I wonder about the smell of your skin
If I could, I would breathe it in
Whether ***** and sweaty
Or fresh and clean
I bet the scent would be supreme
I wonder about the curve of your hand
And how it would feel in mine
In my imagination
The fit would be sublime
I wonder about the aura of your presence
What color I would feel
I imagine it as a sparkly rainbow
Exotic and surreal
I wonder about how you sleep
On your stomach, side, or back
I wonder if I’ll ever know
Or if it’s this knowledge I will always lack

Welcome to the water bottle parade
It is the new big thing
You, too,
Can be cool
Depending upon from what you drink
Does it have a straw
Or a cool liquid draw
And what happens if you drop it?
How ‘bout the handle
Is it the one finger hold
Or must you carry it in your palm?
And does it include a cool charm?
Is the color properly
Pleasing and bright
With the extra option to glow at night?
Is it Wi-Fi attached
And perfectly matched
To the rest of your dishes at home?
Does it have GPS
That you can somehow connect
To find it with your phone?  
Who cares how much water it holds
Or how long it will keep it cold?
Does it look cool
With all the brand new
Features for others to wish for?  
Water bottles are of little use
If all they can do is hold water and juice

Back in the day
When the biggest drama I saw on tv
Was  Bobby Brady scared to climb a tree
And of course
It ended splendidly
When he lost his parakeet
And found it up there
Somewhere high
And Bobby Brady was no longer
Height shy
And saved his beloved parakeet
And got over his fear of climbing trees
Oh to be back in the seventies
When that was the biggest drama
I saw on tv
Although, as much as Bobby seemed to love it
We never again saw that parakeet

Shelves need a dusting
Recover a brush
Into the bathroom it goes
Look at those toothpaste stains
In the basin
I surely need to clean those
Under the kitchen sink
To get me a sponge
Look at all those ***** dishes
I’ve gotta clean at least some
First put the clean ones away
The cabinet is in such disarray
Here’s that stupid electronic adapter
I looked for yesterday
Gotta put it in place right away
But look at this unorganized drawer
What a cluttered way to store
Electronic adapters, or anything more
Organization is what it needs
Here’s that book I was looking for
Back in it’s place, it goes
Oh my
Shelves need a dusting

Trolls have notoriously poor eyesight
And their memories
Also seem lacking
So many of them
Forget what they just said
And repeat it
Repeat it
Again and again
(And again and again)
On until who knows when
Stupidity back to backing
They feed upon moldy outrage
It’s like blue cheese without any
Dairy
They love to use tag words
They didn’t create
Like calling a gay person
“Fairy”
And though it’s been heard
Umpteen times before
They LOL at themselves
Like they just created
A new blockbuster score
And the more people they anger
The more “famous” they feel
I suppose, though, fame isn’t
Really real
But the fakest fame
Is less than lame
But to those who crave it
It’s somehow the same
In their deluded, hungry eyes
They think there’s a
Troll “Nobel prize”
And they seek it out
Their dream is to be
A winner of something
Imaginary
By annoying almost everybody

If Jesus were alive today
He would not be concerned
With the average, happy, gay
He wouldn’t over stress
On how short is her dress
Jesus would hardly care
Over who has *** with who
Or what someone wears
Jesus would be out
Feeding the poor
Helping those who have little
Get some more
Jesus would welcome
All races and creeds
And talk about equality
He’d respect women
And be quite appalled
At those who in his name
Denigrate all
He’d pick up anyone who falls
No matter who that someone is
Because when Jesus was alive
That’s what he did

The only thing worse than being ignored
Is negative recognition
When people who don’t like you
Go overboard
In hating , **** talking, and dissing
Most of the times
It’s in whispers
And everyone loves to listen
Negativity seems to be
More popular than things that are sweet
I suppose loving the drama and rotting  meat
Is part of being a human being

Some people get upset
When you say
“ENOUGH!  
I’ll no longer endure your abuse!”
You have completely offended them
When you refuse to submit to their
Selfish use
Guilt trips and gossip
And so many complaints
Pretending everything is
Something it ain’t
It takes strength to refuse
And energy to walk away
But if you take the first step
The trek turns to stroll
And it gets more pleasant
Every day

Even more maddening than the hateful
**** talker
Is the one who feigns concern
Call up your family and friends
And then proceed to pretend
They’re just looking out for you
Over some made up thing
They claim you do
Spread the lie all around
To anyone who will hear
They’re so worried you’re going down
Not accepting they’re already there

He said
“I need a break from you”
And you simply could not hear it
Called and knocked upon his door
Everywhere he was
You were right near it
And you complained to all of us
With genuine confusion
“Why is he pulling away from me”
You lived in a delusion
Told yourself he was mistaken
And he surely needed you
And as hard as he tried to pull away
There was nothing he could do
You refused to let go
He became exasperated
Cut himself off, completely
Pretended you never even dated
Today, you still drive past his house
And often you will beep
Forcing your presence known
He’s begging to be left alone
You scare off anyone new
Thinking if he has no choice
He will have to pick you
And now he hates you passionately
Ironically
Since passion was what you were trying to seek

I can understand why our ancestors
Didn’t use their feet like hands
But that’s one thing I wish we had kept
On our journey from monkey to man

I am simply just there
Always, on most days
“Here she comes, again.”
If anyone even happens to notice when
I am obscure me
A fixture of the scene
A branch in a forest of trees
A cow in the herd
Mooing lonely words
The farmer don’t notice me
And I suppose for that
I should feel relieved

Apparently
I happen to be
The most interesting subject
In my town
As boring as my life is
In reality
Someone imagines
I’m living it up
So crazily
And they want to
Knock me down
I suppose it’s a compliment
To be focus of so much attention
But I’d rather feel the insult
Of not even being mentioned

How flighty is the memory?
Some things we forget
Immediately
“Did I say I’d help you move?
Oh no; I forgot
I’m so sorry”
Other things, though
Stay in our minds
So long
Until the end of your time
That girl who talked crap
When you were eleven
You’ll be remembering her
When you’re in Heaven
But when hubby tells  you
“Wow, you look great”
That memory won’t even last the day
We’re a flighty  bunch
We human beings
Selective with our memories

Shame on the moon
For gazing at you
That moon up there has some nerve
It’s  always spying upon you
Loneliness is what it deserves
Shame on the sun
For kissing your skin
Inviting you out of your clothes
But if I had the power to do that
I would, too, I suppose
Shame on the ocean
Engulfing your body
And lapping you with it’s waves
The tide comes in early when you are around
It’s clear to see what it craves
Most of all
Shame on me
For feeling so strongly
Impotently
One day you may know
How deep my feelings go
Until then from afar I will swoon
Look to the heavens
And shame the moon

The ignored feel resentment
When you get attention
A catch-22 of life
When you receive love
So comes the hate
To tarnish your good times
With strife

I yearn
Painlessly
Yet maddeningly
Only for one
You’re my desire
I burn like the sun
I know you feel complimented
By how I cherish you
You don’t play with my emotions
Pretending to ignore me
Is what you do
As for my feelings
They will continue
And you’ll still pretend your feet do not move
To the
The dance without music
Between me and you

It is what it is
It ain’t what it can’t be
If you don’t like reality
Blame yourself
Not me

My attention is demanding
And finicky, too
There was a time
I used to wait for you
But only for a little while
Waiting is not something
I’m willing to do
Long term
Even for a beautiful guy like you

I am a beautiful mess

I am the invisible girl
Wishing to be seen
But left alone
Impossible
Dreams

My family will not participate
When I make excuses for myself
I love them for that

It is agony to me
To be invisible to you
While you, I clearly see
I know how good it could be
While you seem to wander endlessly
I know what you’re looking for
I feel it down into every pore
I’m powerless to change the score
I have no tools to help me cope
All I can do is wish and hope
To somehow catch your faraway eye
I surely give a hearty try
But you’re a really busy guy
And I’m a nickel a dozen
Doting girl
So many surround you
I suppose it’s enough to admire you from afar
It seems to be all I can do

The man I fall in love with will not be perfect
My guy is gonna be a hott mess
He will be gentle and kind
But an overworked mind
Confused and clumsy too
He will fumble when unhooking my bra
And be kind of unsure of what to do
He will snort like a pig when he laughs
And slip on his ***
Banging his head
While laying down in the bath

I’m the type to fall in love with a
Beautiful dork
Everything worth having
Will need lots of work

I want to scare you
Intimidated by an unknown feeling
I want to rock your entire world
Upon introduction
I want an irresistible
Magic connection
I want to meet you someday
Hopefully soon
And suddenly I will see in you
Whoever you are
Duel
Magic spark
Into one
I hope when it happens to me
That’s the way it will be

How long do you fight for
What seems impossible?
Do you hope the desire
Dries up
And goes away?
Do you find something else
To lead you astray?
Does a dream unrealized
Call your psyche home?
Does it settle in your bones?
Ever there to taunt and tease
Staying so far out of reach
Does it approach
And then it leaves?
That probably is the way of dreams

I was an optimistic child
I watched Gilligan’s Island
Every time
Thinking they were going to finally make it off that island
This time

As a pessimistic adult
I wonder why they would want to