This is a story repeatedly told
And to be honest, its getting old
The story of my pain
And constantly feeling insane
I just want this book to close
And to escape life woes
But instead it turns page by page
As if each chapter is a cage
I grab an eraser to delete the past
But the memories flood back fast
Is instead I grab a pen to write some joy up ahead
But all the ink is dead
I slowly wait day by day
For it all to just fade away
I wish I could simply start anew
But that is something I could never do
I have done my best and tried
But I ended up wanting to hide
I hide behind a smile
And a certain choice in style
So I can remain behind these broken walls
Because I'd rather be fake than to fall

Scared to go to sleep,
scared of the secrets I keep.
Time to go to bed,
and visit the monsters in my head.
They day I’ve gone insane,
but no one sees my pain.
I want to shout,
when the lights go out.
These demons come out to play,
when the lights fade away.
Under my bed and in my closet,
maybe I really have lost it.
Praying for a light or spark,
because I’m afraid of the dark.

I think about you day and night
But I try to stay out of sight
I try to forget you in I can
Because you broke my heart and ran
But I can’t get rid of these feelings for you
Its like the longer we were apart the more they grew
I thought I was over you but I guess I’m not
Its like these memories I hold you’ve forgot
I’ve tried to see different guys
But my heart was whispering lies
From you I can’t seem to move on
Even though our relationship is gone
I hate you for tearing me apart
But I love you because you still hold my heart
I can’t tell you how I feel inside
So from you I try to hide
Because I know you don’t feel the same
And I don’t want to feel the shame
Of you telling me I’m not your type and I’m dead weight
But I guess this is my fate
Sometimes I cannot sleep
Because memories are thoughts too deep
First love comes with first heartbreak
But around you a smile I will fake
You may think I’m trying to make you feel bad
But I’m just writing emotions of sad
A years gone by
But I still cry
These feelings just won’t go away
Maybe you could be mine once again someday

You've been here so long,
Now something has gone wrong.
You took me under your wing,
Now you cause so much suffering.
You used to have a heart of gold,
Now all I see is ice cold.
You scream and shout,
Now I can't block it out.
You throw things around,
Now crashing and banging is the only sound.
So many questions flow through my mind,
And answers I can't seem to find.
Why must you be so mad,
Even though youre supposed to be my dad.
Why after all I've gone through,
Must you continue to say "It's not me, It's you?"
Why after I lost trust in one father,
Must you make me start to lose another?
I want to feel safe in your arms,
But you've caused so much harm.
You were supposed to make me smile,
Not act so cruel and vile.
You were supposed to help me fly,
Not sad and scared and to cry.
You're supposed to stand by my side,
Now, I just want to hide.
To you I can't do anything right,
So it's hard to see the light.
Mom tries her best everyday,
But nothing seems to go her way.
Now I don't know,
Will you stay or go?
You may be tough,
But you're going through some stuff.
Wha you went through was scary,
And you changed after the military.
No matter what you go through,
Know the following is true:
There will be times both good and bad,
There will be times happy and sad,
And even though we both will get mad,
I will always love you and I'm glad,
That mom chose you to be my dad.

He was beaten down,
Until he had nothing left.
In his blood he thought he would drown,
He thought he would soon take his last breath.
They broke his halo,
Like it was a toy.
He was once calm and mellow,
Now he’ll never be the same boy.
His heart surrounded by thorns,
God never heard the prayers he said.
He felt his heart was torn,
Thats how they found him dead.

Everyone talks about the devil on your shoulder
And how their life is getting colder
But what about the angel on your other shoulder?
She's ignored as she grows older
She tries to help you out
But all she gets is self doubt
She tried to help but she's never heard
Trying to speak but you can't hear a word
Her voice a whisper, the devils a shout
Her will slowly running out
But those who chose to listen brighten her days
And to the darkness their lives don't give way
She dances in my hand
Because I understand
I am the angel on your shoulder
And I think you should listen to her
For all we try to do is help you
For its all we know how to do

The music plays loud,
And everyone is jumping around.
I feel the beat,
And I move my feet.
I feel so free,
This is me.
The DJ plays the tunes,
And the speakers boom.
This is the way I live,
When the music starts, my knees give.
I dance, one, two, three,
This is me.
I don't get drunk at a pub,
I get high on music at the club.
The music blasts,
And I'm under the spell that's been cast.
This is where I want to be,
This is me.

Hey Bad Boy,
I love the way you treat me.
I love the way you tease and annoy.
Come on Bad Boy and set me free.
Your dark eyes,
and constant lies.
But I don't mind,
because you've made me blind.
Hey Bad Boy,
do I give you joy?
With my pure heart,
I showed from the start?
Your kiss,
Such a wonderful bliss,
even though you bite,
I still picture you at night.
My heart you have destroyed,
but I love it, because you're my Bad Boy.

As I’m suddenly standing here,
on the edge
I can see so much clearer,
my friend
Thinking I should disappear,
it’s the end
Drowning in all this fear,
and dread

But slowly I remember
That day in December
You said things would get better
We’d be best friends forever
But were no longer together
Cuz you are gone
Where did I go wrong
After so long

I always think of you
Dont know what to do
We were better as two
Im trying by
Without you by my side
You were so kind
You’re stuck in my mind

Its hard not to see
You not next to me
After so many years
You wiped away my tears
You were my best friend
But this is the end

I look at the sky
Way up high
I think I can fly
Or at least I can try
But this is goodbye

Sittin in the snow
the cold wind blows
and nips my nose
i wonder how deep my mind goes
I remember those days when I felt sane
when my heart wasn’t swallowed in this pain
when I would dance instead of sit in the rain
now this change is as plain as day
how this feeling won’t go away
so instead it stays
and it laughs at the game it plays
it plays on my mind
I’m running out of time to find
to say my last goodbyes
I shut my eyes
the tears turn to ice
on this cold winter night
I’m buried in this fright
I no longer see the light
I gaze up at the sky
wishing I could fly
but instead I must die
the pain from the lies
I try to confide
but no ones by my side
so I run and hide
but no matter how hard I try
my mind won’t comply
to give a little spark
to save me from the dark
so I sit here in the cold
my heart no longer gold
no hand left to hold
my mind growing old
and my bones begin to fold
soon I’ll be buried in the snow
my death is slow
just like the wind I’ll fade
so I take this blade
and I cut deep in my skin
so I say now let the games begin

My heart is broken in two,
Because I really liked you.
You liked me in seventh grade,
But the fact I have no religion is a blockade.
I should feel relief, but I do not,
I'm moving in sixteen days, and I hate it a lot.
I don’t know where,
But I honestly don’t care.
From you, I’d be far away,
I only have sixteen days.
I get too attached to things I can’t have,
When I lose them, I feel depressed and sad.
Because of the move I had to break up with you,
But I guess you had the same plan too.
I should’ve learned from my past,
That my friendships never last.
My mind is a swirling storm,
But for me, this is the norm.
So many thoughts rushing by,
Because, yet again, I must say good bye.
I wish I didn’t have this curse,
Of emotions that make things worse.
My thoughts jerking left and right,
I know I’ll be crying through the night.
I travel to the darkness to hide,
Becouse the dark is where I confide.
The light,
Its just too bright.
I can’t help feeling confused and wrong,
Even though we weren’t together that long.
Now I’m sitting in class, thinking of you,
Because my heart is broken in two.

My wings were beaten down,
I fell and hit the ground.
Learning to deal with the pain,
my tears fall down like the pouring rain.
Was an angel, now a broken shell,
born in heaven, put through hell.
If I wish to touch the sky,
I must take these broken wings and learn to fly.

"We're not cut out for this,
so before we go, one last kiss."
You lean in and I smile,
we stay like that for a while.
We run up stairs,
and I looses my fears.
We stand at the edge,
of the buildings ledge.
You take my hand,
"It'll all be over when we land."
I smile and start to cry,
by your side, I shall die.

Computer crash,
Computer screen flash.
Windows is now open,
Thank god for copin’.
Computer shut down now,
What to do now.
Putting up a technological fight,
This is not my daily highlight!

Run, run, run.
If you're cought, you're done.
Keep a low profile.
Stay quiet for a while.
Don't mess around,
or you'll be found.
You destroyed your life,
when you stabbed her with that knife.
You just did a crime,
And it will stick with you forever in time.
You committed ******,
Because you got mad at her.
Continue to run and hide,
But the memory will forever play in your mind.

His precious eyes
His sweet smile
When I see him my heart flies
I want him to stay awhile
When he's about to go,
I already miss him
If he likes me I don't know
Without him my life is dim
I look at him and want to hold his hand
He smiles and I imagine a precious kiss
If I'm with him I'm in wonderland,
And every second is pure bliss
He is my sky
I want to be his stars
In him I want to fly
He feels so far
Bike rides down the street
Meeting up after school
I can feel my heartbeat
Not sure if I'm just a fool

Crimson red,
the sight of the dead.
voices in my head,
won't leave even when I'm in bed.
Ghosts all around,
wandering endlessly in this town.
I fall to the ground,
my sanity left unfound.
I hear the screams,
blood running like streams,
stuck in this endless dream,
my eyes with an awful gleam.
Ignore my silent plea,
this is who I want to be.
I will let my demons free,
And let them consume me.
This salty sweet taste,
I can't let it go to waste,
I shall **** without any haste,
for a nightmare, my life is based.

She lived a life full of sorrow,
She didn't want a tomorrow.
She grabbed a paper and pen,
She wrote "I'll never walk again.
I don't want to feel this pain,
So I'm walking on death lane.
I'm sorry mom, I have to run,
Soon my life will be done."
Around her neck, a rope was tied,
Her mother walked in and she cried.
She saw the letter,
And as she unfolded it, her eyes grew wetter.
She read the letter with lots of care,
And she thought "how is this fair?
What has the world done to my baby?
Maybe this is just a bad dream, maybe?"
But she looked up at her dead child,
Her face pale and wild.
Then she began to scream,
"This is no dream!"
She ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife,
Without her little girl, there was no point to life.
She looked at the moon in the sky of night,
Then she shut her eyes tight,
She stabbed her heart and took her last breath,
Welcome now, to the world of death.

Dear Brain,
Why do you fill my head with crazy thoughts,
Like the ones about pandas instead of cars in parking lots?
Why do you distract my sight from what I need to see,
To looking at a lizard on a tree?
Why do you control my mouth to talk nonstop,
Where I think my friends ears will pop?
Why do you make me listen to odd stuff,
Instead of what I need which makes life rough?
Please Brain, let me know,
What I need to do to make you go.
I want to control my self without ADHD,
But then I guess I wouldn't be me.
Dear Brain, I must ask,
Can you at least relax?
No, I guess thats ok,
At least you make me have fun everyday!

Born of two worlds,
One good and one bad.
My thoughts are always swirled,
And it makes me mad!
I don’t know which side to choose,
Darkness or light?
I have so much to lose,
My heart continues to fight.
Am I a demon or an angel?
Am I day or am I night?
Will I forgive or be vengeful?
Will I choose wrong or right?

Can you see me,
while I’m drowning?
Surrounded by misery,
while you stare, smiling.
Cover me in your ink,
fill me with your lies.
The further I sink,
and I slowly close my eyes.
Secrets I hold,
the scars I hide.
The water is cold,
but my hands are tied.
Sinking in the tears I’ve shed,
as you hold me down.
No one knows how much I’ve bled,
as I continue to drown.

I hate him,
I love him,
I don't know how I feel,
sometimes I image what could be real.
At first he was a shadow,
with a simple crush.
I asked him out, and he didn't say no,
And soon being near him gave my heart a rush.
How do I put this in words,
because thinking about him hurts.
He says he doesn't love me,
But my heart won't leave me be,
Within my heart I'm trapped, trying to get out,
But I still love him, without the slightest doubt.
"Ethan, I don't know what to do,
please help me loose these feelings for you."
You broke my heart,
I should of known from the start,
That a silent stranger boy,
would bring me such joy,
just to break me down,
and make me feel like a stupid clown.
"Ethan, I hate you for what you did,
and now I feel like a dumb, lovesick kid."
Please tell me this was all a cruel joke,
because now I can't breath, like my lungs are full of smoke.
you make me feel happy and strong,
but now I don't know what to do,
and I feel each decision is wrong.
and all of this was thanks to you.

People don't get my obsession,
And how it's the best decision.
Me and anime,
were like a family!
When I'm down,
anime always brings me around.
When I try to explain,
Its not in their domain.
They ask me "why do you watch kid shows?"
but the maturity level required is what none of them know.
Just know that anime is the best,
and that it beats the rest.

My heart is in your hands,
You have conquered all the lands.
All the women are held by the threat of a sword,
You’ve caged them like little birds.
You put me through all this pain,
Tears stream down my face as I die in the rain.
You watch my blood fall,
Now you stand tall.
My kingdom in pieces,
I just hope you find peace.

I seem to be in depression,
negetive thoughts are an obsession.
Trying hard yo get away,
but I hate everyday.
With one person do I feel joy,
but I don’t want to burden this boy.
With him my worries disappear,
and my demons I do not hear.
Not even my mom can understand,
that my heart is growing bland.
I don’t want to trouble anyone,
sometimes I wish my life was done.
Sitting here as every thought,
seems to hide and haunt.
Wishing life was just a dream,
wishing someone could hear my screams.
But I shouldn’t call for help at all,
so I’ll just hold in this call.
My life rumbling,
so I begin crumbling.

Today I had my first kiss,
It lasted about a second, but it was such bliss.
My face grew hot and red,
Fog filling my head.
My eyes grew wide,
My heart jumping inside.
My cheek he gave a peck,
While my head was nestled by his neck.
I tried to return the gesture,
Then he tricked me like a jester.
He kissed me gently but quickly,
My stomach felt tickly.
I love him with all my heart,
And I know we'll never be apart.
Holding his hand,
It’s like haveing my own private island.
He’s my world,
My emotions always in a whirl.
I wish I could be with him every minute,
I stand by his side every second I get.
He was my first kiss,
And I will always remember this.

The floors creaked beneath her feet,
But this is where he said to meet.
The hallway dark, with no light,
A perfect night for a perfect fright.
She walked in the room with no delay,
But this was the room where little ghosts played.
The door locked behind her with a slam,
Now she was as helpless as a baby lamb.
She screamed and cried,
But that night she died.
The man she was supposed to meet was dead,
He was a ghost who lay in his death bed.
He loved the girl and wished for her soul,
But that was a failed goal.
Its Friday the thirteenth without a doubt,
So be careful when going out.
For no one may hear your screams,
And won't come to save you, by any means.

A dark ally way,
Ghosts run and play.
They say I’m crazy,
Maybe I am, maybe.
To these ghosts, I am their mother,
To me, this family is like no other.
I love my little ghosts with all my heart,
Even though they tear me apart.
I gave them my soul,
They gave me a home.
Here, I feel set free,
Here, I feel that I am me.
Every day I’m changing,
My emotions raging.
I killed several,
I’ve gone mental.
I need to settle the score,
I must **** more!
My friends follow,
Death makes me feel less hallow.
Next victim standing there,
I can smell their fear in the air.
I draw my knife,
I take their life.
People stop and stare,
My ghosts feeding and bodies falling everywhere.
Police catch me and ghosts set me free,
For I’m the only one who can see.
Running down the street,
Random people falling to their feet.
I’m having fun,
As they fall one by one.
The city is dead,
The streets covered in red.
Homicide the only thought in my head,
I must go to the next city for this isn’t the end!

Ladies?
Who works night and day
Just to make your pay?
Who fakes a smile through a mask
Just because it’s your task?
Who struggles to do what’s right
not sure if they should fight?
Do you work to reach your dreams
ni matter how hard it seems?
Do you try to make yourself perfect
even though you’re already worth it?
Ladies, let me tell you something that is key
your hard work is pure beauty
You're strong,
You're beautiful
You're powerful
You can do anything in the world
even if you’re “just a girl”
because we have girl power!
we’re not just delicate flowers
we pack a punch
And we pack a mean lunch
we may look frail
but we can whoop your tail
so come on girls and join me now!
and show the men that girls know how!
we don’t have to stick to the gender roles
we can break free and let go
meaning you don’t have to like pink bows and skirts
you can like sneakers and dirt!
So come on, stand up and fight
at the end of the tunnel there is light!

You yelled at my freind, being so mean,
Your little actions make me want to scream.
You came to my house without an invite,
I hate how you're always looking for a fight.
You cling to my brother and lead him on,
The only thing I want is you to be gone.
Please leave me alone, leave me be,
Take me out of this misery.
Fare well, so long,
You think you did nothing wrong.
You hurt and you lie,
Now I'll just say "Goodbye."

Not knowing why
But I always want to cry
With every breath
I crave my own death
I have no reason to feel this way
But my demons love to play
I have friends that I don’t deserve
I wish a positive thought I could preserve
I hide these feelings so well
But when alone tears start to swell
Faking a smile that never lasts
A girl with no future and no past
A girl with a broken family
A girl who just wants to be free
Wishing go to drown or hang
Because these thoughts my demons have sang
There is no meaning in this heart beating
So my life is ever fleeting
Living in constant heartbreak
Not sure if my life is just a mistake
Im walking through life with nowhere to go
But I’ll just say I’m going with the flow
Sometimes I think about self harm
So instead I scribble stars on my arms
Tgese thoughts creep in at night
But this battle is too hard to fight
Trying to run from my mind
But in this darkness I am blind
I wish someone would hear my plea
But I know no one will rescue a girl like me

I keep myself behind a wall,
I never will let it fall.
I've tried so hard to keep quiet,
Secrets are in my daily diet.
I keep myself in a hole,
And I've grown dull.
Theres a beast inside my mind,
And to it, they're blind.
I can't let them know,
This secret is about to make me blow.
I'm in a nightmare,
But I don't care,
Because I rather hear screams,
Than be stuck inside of sweet dreams.
I keep on a smile, being a tiny spark,
So they don't know my mind is completely dark.

At school I see the couples,
as they laugh and chuckle.
Hearing love songs on the radio,
making me feel ultra low.
Just moved to another place,
not recognizing anyone’s face.
Feeling lonely and in despair,
because im not part of a pair.
Seeing cute boys at my school,
thinking about it I feel a fool.
Trying to ignore my heart,
because it’s tearing me apart.
I know my time will come to love,
I wish I could give my time a shove.
I dreamed of a high school romance,
but for me there is a little chance.

I spent the day with a freind,
We went shopping for the latest trends.
We got ready for the night,
We were amazed by the sight.
Our first homecoming,
My heart rate was growing.
I danced in a weird way,
But everyone had nice things to say.
I got a faint suger high,
And I kept on craving pie.
I just wish my boyfriend was there,
My freinds didn’t have dates, so I guess it’s only fair.
My first dance of the year,
This memory I shall hold dear.

I hate you!
Just leave me be!
It's over, it's through!
But you hugged me...

I used to be one to cry like a child,
But my tears are no longer wild.
They used to tease and make me plea,
But now I'll make them fall to their knees.
Now the game has begun,
Now it's time I have some fun.  
You knocked me down,
And pushed me around,
But now you regret as I stand tall,
As I make you curl into a ball.  
I play your death in my mind,
and your body, the cops will never find.  
Don't worry about dying too soon,
Your soul won't disappear like a balloon.
I'll **** you slowly and torture you.
Dont believe me, ask my last victims if it's true.
You can try to run away,
But one day, I will catch you.

Skipped out on morning walks
The time I planned to talk
Feeling more than depressed
Becouse I got more than obsessed
We talked through the phone today
Got tongue tied now knowing what to say
Questions and thoughts fill my head
Feeling like I’m hanging by a thread
Not enough bricks to build this wall
My hearts been bounced like a basketball
I clearly don’t make the cut
So I keep my mouth shut
My mind filled with doubt
Thinking about when we went out
To everything I’ve gone blind
He’s the only thing on my mind
My heart can’t stop asking “when?”
All I have left is paper and pen
To go through this is hard
My heart in shreds and shards
I count to three
But it still bothers me
Not sure how much I can take
Befire I finally break
I have to hold it in
It won’t stop once it begins
Starting to take a mental dive
As this feeling eats me alive
This feeling I must ignore
Throw away the key and lock the door
I must find a way to break free
Even though this is killing me

In my hand I hold beauty,
In my hand I hold simplicity.
In my hand I hold love,
In my hand I hold something that flies above.
A butterfly sits silently in my hand,
It shall never again fly or land.
A butterfly is the symbol of hope,
A butterfly is supposed to help you cope.
My life is wasting away,
I’m like this butterfly in my hand who won’t live another day.
I stare at the small, delicate creature,
Who will soon die in its leisure.
I stare at the butterfly,
I crush it in my hands and it dies.

I can’t fall asleep tonight,
wanting to feel your arms squeeze me tight.
Picturing you in my mind,
hearing your voice so kind.
The cold sends a shiver down my spine,
wishing our hands could intertwine.
Wishing to feel your body heat,
and listen to your heart beat.
I gaze at the stars,
wishing to be where you are.
Tucked away in your arms,
safe from all harm.
Wishing wishes so deep,
beside you I wish to sleep

Life beat me down.
It left me battered and bruised.
But I stand my ground,
I become immune to the tricks used.
No matter how hard I get hit,
I'll stand back up again,
I'll get through all of it,
If I get knocked out, I'll jump back in.
The scars that life left behind,
Show how strong I am,
These scars will always remind,
That I'm a strong lion, not a cowering lamb.
So I tell life,
"Come at me with with all you've got,
Come at me with a heated knife,
I will not fall, I'll stand, like it or not!"

The world is grey,
I lived another day.
I feel like a banished king,
Thrown into the battle ring.
This poor pointless life I live,
All the useless effort I give.
But yet, I find beauty in the world,
Because the orphan ******* the street dances and twirls.
Life may look hopeless and grim,
But don’t give in, don’t cut your limbs.
The world may look somber,
Just remember, others have it harder.

Anxiety attack.
These skills I lack.
Can’t find a way to get back.
No where to go.
The stuff I don’t know.
This darkness starting to grow.
Need a bit of luck.
My mind filled with muck.
Feeling like I’m forever stuck.
Trying to climb the ladder but the bars are broken.
These thoughts left unspoken.
I feel like I’m chokin’.
My soul is a shred.
This thoughts fill my head.
My emotions left for dead.

doctors shove pills down my throat
but I stay quiet, scared to rock the boat
saying there’s no way to fix me
so they end up breakin’ me
I’m fakin’ every part of me
hopin’ someone’ll see
and maybe set me free
tired of being watched with those beady eyes
and im so sick of hearing all the lies
they tell me not to cry
but I wanna curl up and die
tryna to get by
as I silently wonder why
im losing my sanity
to everyone’s vanity
and humanity
Im stuck in a dark place
and makeup covers my face
but I cry it all away
from the pain through the day
and I bottle it up inside
until I find a place to hide
i try to remember who lives beneath my mask
but instead I pull out a flask
cuz to remember is too hard of a task
and I try to ask
what happened to my life
as they hold their steely knife
telling me I’ll never be a wife
my dreams, they don’t matter
my mind full of clatter
as I hear everyone chatter
they Say i need to be thinner
so I skip my dinner
tryna be a winner
but feeling like a sinner
trying to fit this image that everyone wants
but I feel like a hollow ghost that haunts
cuz this being just cannot
So I’ve given it my best shot
I’ve given it all I got
but I’m given in
I know I can’t win
I cut up and down my arms
feeling peace in self harm
I really did try
but I must say goodbye
for soon I’ll die
and leave you wondering why
So I’ll grab a rope or knife
and without another world I’ll end my life

Look at the bird,
see how it flies.
A hunter sees it too,
so it dies.
Grace and beauty in my life,
it flees.
My life is torture,
meant for misery.
Peace in the darkness,
blinded by light.
Lost my dreams to live,
and my will to fight.
Feeling ignored,
by the ones I love.
Given up wishing,
on the stars above.
My mind to dark,
and left for dead.
A dark abyss,
in my head.
Emotions out like a switch,
and I don’t know what to do.
Cant fix a thing,
cant stop thinking about you.
Nothing to write about,
but how I feel.
This darkness once locked up,
but broken is the seal.
I’m a broken mess,
both mind and soul.
A painted on smile,
its taking its tole.
Forgotten is the face,
under this mask.
To remove it,
is a difficult task.
Look at the bird,
once free in the sky.
Then look at me,
and then you’ll know why.

One, two, three,
Come and rescue me!
Four, five, six,
I'm in a real fix!
Seven, eight, nine,
This should be a crime!
Ten,
I'm stuck in math class again!

Playing at the park,
mother said be back by dark.
These memories flood my mind,
as I remember the past left behind.
I sit at a park bench,
my heart starting to wrench.
Tears fall down my face,
as I remember this place.
My childhood went by in a flash,
now I have to worry about having enough cash.
Why is this age such a difficult one,
different from when I was young and had lots of fun.
I might be older,
but im far less bolder.
To my son, don't let your youth go to waste,
Or they'll be just memories you'll forever chase.

People always worry about me,
and about my sanity.
My emotions are always in a hurry,
and it's leaving everyone in a flurry.
To understand me, they got me something,
they got me a little mood ring.
Its always changing,
my emotions raging.
The mood ring is a lovely piece of jewelry,
but it doesn't explain me.
My friends say it's broken,
and when the seller said it worked, he was joken'.
But here's the thing,
its me, not the mood ring.

Hello my dear,
ignore the screams you hear.
The furnace heating the room,
casting the burning skin fume.
You wonder where all your friends gone to,
I eliminated them when they tried to keep me from you.
You haven’t seen the sun for many days,
I’ve locked you in my basement so you don’t run away.
You must be fine because you stopped your cries,
I promise I won’t let you die.
All the girls you’ve ever looked at,
they've been fed to my pet wild cats.
Don’t worry my dear,
no need to fear.
Don't fret my dear,
no one but me shall get near.

I wake up with a start,
through my chest I feel my beating heart.
I look around and realize it was just a dream,
I'm back in reality, so it may seem.
I may back down and shut my eyes,
I hope they don't hear my cries.
My mom comes in and asks my dreams we're pleasant,
I don't tell her about my mental descent.
Everyone tries to make me happy,
but it makes me feel even more ******.
At school, I receive many stares,
because they don't know what my life means.
Fir you can't sell dreams,
to those who has walked the path of nightmares.

Falling behind in my grades,
as my mind slowly fades.
Life is hard,
and in my hand I deal no cards.
Drowning in self doubt,
as my darkest thoughts seep out.
Feeling lost, hope to be found,
as my demons scream out loud.
Uncertain and without trust,
feeling like I’ll bust.
Trying hard to do my best,
trying hard to past every test.
Grades drop,
wish my emotions would stop.
Everything would be better,
if my mom read a letter,
saying I was gone,
and that she move on.
I’m just a burden to everyone I see,
I feel both mine and their life with misery.
Why must I try so hard to be good,
when I'm never understood?
My life feels full of pain,
and like I’m going insane.