Is it bad to wish for tragedy
A valid reason to shed these tears
A reason to fall and crumble
To succumb to all my fears
I just wanna pour my heart out
God how messy that would be
The only one that can give me validity
Is me

Breathe in, breathe in
Breathe out
Watch smoke billow from my mouth
Bury feeling
In hazy dreaming
Lost, in pale white cloud
I laugh and smile
And stay awhile
In this ethereal shroud
I relax until I notice
I can’t find my way back out

A long days work passed
The night comes at last
And I curl up inside of my blanket

A warm and happy place inside
A place my feelings go to hide
Tucked away from a world without my blanket

My blanket is security
A place where I am the real me
I can’t face reality
I hide inside my blanket

I can’t help myself i'm done
The world outside has finally won
Dragged outside I kick and scream
For its soft embrace in which I dream

This blankets hug is suffocating
Full of thoughts of my self-hating
Loathing that i'm still alive
Weak and just waiting to die

My blanket
Where i'm happiest
The place where I am at my best
Curled up in my room alone
Writing poems on my phone

A cloak, to cover up, the marks the years have left on me
Crimson cloth to cover up the shame
Cloth torn, and faded
Mold creeping over brilliant red shades
Spawned from sorrow
And though it grew unnoticed
Even death
Needs sunshine to grow

Consuming flame licking at my nerves
Flickering in my heart, flashing brilliant shades of color behind my eyes
Burning away my emotion
Bleeding from my fingertips, burning all I touch
Nothing left undamaged
Flames bleeding from my heart
Nerves numb, eyes dry
Resolve burning with righteous flame
The only thing that keeps me warm at night

On my back, a weight
Crushing my lungs, causing me to suffocate
I'm not
Sure
How much longer I can lift it
I was never very strong

I write a poem
An indeterminate number of lines
No structure or rhyme
A failure
One excuse to many in a long line of mistakes
Throw emotions on a page to escape into obscurity
Because the alternatives terrify me
Because as long as I keep writing
I can die another day