This song makes my heart hurt
In a way I come running back to
Like cold air when my head is spinning
Like Vocaloid when my nose is stuffy
Like The cold steel of my shaky bedframe
The one I got so I could do schoolwork
Or the multitool in my bottom dresser drawer
That my grandpa gave me when I was 4
Like the way my heart hurts when my feet hit the gravel of the driveway
A soft-serve taste of inevitability

If you can't eat without me don't
Can't stomach the thought of my gullet
Full of food you didn't cook
Bland tactless English delight
Boil the heart out, dispose of the soul
The taste of resignation
A sense of higher morality
As if his callused hand contained a godly glory
A Buddhist wisdom, a song of peace
A place untouched by the fettering, fleeting feelings of a family
That can't appreciate the art
Of brutal meditation

My head hurts
so bad
fingers peel back soft spot
at the top of my skull
like wet clay
it comes off in clumps
and claps loudly on the ground
and the dust
coats my brain
covered in grey matter
nauseous
confused
spinning around my room making a mess of things
it rattles and stirs until it pours down my spine
in my chest a tumbler, to keep it fluid
A controlled drip to my stomach
And it hardens
And i sink

The birds
The grass
The trees
Whoever's listening
The earth
The sky
Whoever walks on by
Can come sit, here with me
Sit by the maple tree, she likes the
company

And when we sing softly
to her
she likes, to hear our gentle words
out time, our care
are woven in her hair, blocks the sun
from her eyes, when it sets, we say goodbye
to our tree
Maple Leaf

What I see
Person drowned in memory
dog hung by a picket fence
I could've should've why wouldn't I do
more
faster
better
stronger
catchy techno song from a time where
I could not lean too far one way or another
a balancing act for the last kid
in his grade
to ride a bike

Count, breathe, read
60 seconds and again
Two more times, get up, walk
Count, don't hold
Your breath
Drink some water
Read
Don't forget to
Breathe in
Out

I woke up
Waves splish splash
I hardly notice the sting of the wind
the shift of the sand
shift the towel
off my face?
my eyes catch the rays
long red strands of sun connect to my nose
Claws raised in defense
I blink the sun away
to see my body
bright red carapace
I have slept too long