It's been a very long time hasn't it
Since we last saw each other, or even talked
I miss your warm hugs and your bright smiles

You've gone silent my dear friend
If I'm being honest
I think it's slowly killing me

I could cry everyday
I only do it every second

I miss you so much

My dear little Sapling
What a world that you chose for your birth
You are fragile, but your future is strong

My hands wield your growth, shaping your forms and nurturing your blossoms

I know neither wrong or right
You simply are.
Judging from afar yet striking no judgement

An entity that exists to exist
Gathering knowledge and sending roots deep down

Grow my little Sapling and learn about this beautiful yet ugly world

An invisible wall
Transparent yet clouded
As I pound against it, it makes so sound

So help me my Love
My efforts crumble to dust
So it seems that I do nothing

How can I show you that I care?
How can I make you see what I feel?
I'm being torn, and endless back and worth

All I can say is sorry
It's what seems to last
Yet it's meaning is lost

I will work hard for this
The wall will shatter
Then we can touch once more what was lost

I think I just remembered something
I left the usually locked door wide open
The stairs are calling me
The dark eyes stare right back
I know it's my 'guardian angel' with smokey wings

Protecting me yet dragging me down into the basement
Smiling, the time isn't right yet
My patience lasts
If it snaps I'll be closing that door behind me
Black baby wings sprouting since age 12
Carrying me and shielding me from the cold

Thank you for keeping me safe
Keeping me guarded from things I didn't know
Here I am in Life's mystery, confused at times
Other times I am shot down, my baby wings protecting my face but not my heart

As my wings grow many choices come
In the end I know that self-love should always come first

"I can sense the violence in your silence"
My throat tightens as I remember what you said
What am I supposed to read into that?

I close my eyes in hopes of seeing a blank canvas
Something we can create together

Our smiles painting a picture
Our tears casting shadows

I hope that together we can make it work
That pettiness fades and respect blooms like a flower
I love you

Maybe a bit too much
Now do you understand what I mean?
Yet I am learning to be my own soldier

Strength yet so weak
Love yet so much anger
What are we doing to each other?

I feel small and useless
A fire that has been kicked out
Only the smallest trail of smoke signalling life
My eyes peer around every corner
Why do I feel fear?

I don't want to feel this way forever my Love
Are we here to break each other's hearts?
I cling onto the happiness I have with you

Tell me Baby
Are those words what you really think?
I know I can't forget everything
No matter how much I love you

I can't lose who I am

The anger pierces me like a knife
My wounds are wide open today
Part of me is saying good bye
The sliver of strength seeps out with my tears

I would never want to see you unhappy
It seems the blame always lands on me
I know I did wrong
Yet I cannot ignore your responsibility
Seems invisible to you sometimes

I can live with pain
Yet everyone has their limit
Saying I'm approaching mine rips me apart
In a similar way that your words do

What would be if I said all those things to you?
I have not once threatened to leave you
Do I make it so easy to walk right in and out of my life?

You shut me out for what seems like a life time
We cannot talk it out until later
I do not know what to say or do
I can only take so much

Old thoughts cross my mind these days
Luring me to inflict more pain
So far I can stand strong, fighting that urge
It grows stronger with every fight we have
Hell, even discussions escalate so quickly

Lashing out in anger, I can't shield myself from every hit
I have told you this before
In order for me to live, that has to change
Nowadays I cry because it has only increased

I can only take so much before I break