what a mean girl I am
throwing around words I half understand
letting them bump and bruise strangers
not thinking it might hurt them later

what an awful person they must see
a person no one wants to be
making promises she can't keep
and disappointing in the end

A perfect example of what not to do
doing things not well thought through
crude and cruel down to the bone
yet wonders why she's left alone.

All the moments get replayed
Every mistake I've ever made
Flashing through inside my head
Makes me wish I were dead.
Makes me wish I were dead.

Did you smell my blood in the water,
fairweather friend?
That seed of resentment in your heart
I dont remember sowing it.

Someday when I'm dead I hope to see,
the people that made the people,
that made the people
that made
me.

Expectations subverted

Narrative deserted

8 years of waiting

Wasn't worth it

Virtue signaling and destruction abound
A uniting goal nowhere to be found
Too high on emotion for critical thought  
Pallets of bricks the anonymous bought

The stamping of boots upon human faces
Shadows fueling a war of the races
History repeated every four years
For votes from a populous motivated by fear

They called us plague rats for choosing to think,
For questioning systems that profit when we sink.
Now that doubt has nowhere left to hide
The truth spills out, a turning tide.
I kept my health through all their scorn,
But not one "sorry" since the storm.

Theres a fog in my mind that obscures my focus
And all the things in my life slip by me unnoticed

Keep them sick
Keep them dumb
Keep them tired
Keep them numb
Keep them distracted
Keep them reactive
Keep them weak
Keep them asleep

I want to run around and gloat
I want to shout that I was right all along
At the people who thought I was crazy
At the ones I tried to warn
But everyone I love went and got it anyway
Ticking time bombs injected into heart tissue