Why can't you hear my silent cries for help?
Don't you remember who I used to be?
Someone not afraid of everyone,
Someone who wouldn't question when someone was nice, one who wasn't afraid to have a voice.
Someone who isn't Grey.
Why can't you hear my ragged voice, straining to be heard from my prison of self creation?

If my depression, my inner demons were physical, then I could fight them                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­            If they were something standing right in front of me, instead of living in the darkest corners of my mind, slinking in the overpopulation of shadows                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                    Then I could make them feel the pain they've put me through all these years.                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                  If only... it doesn't matter, we are together forevermore. Stuck with The Grey, stuck with myself

They say I'm the Lost Child.
Hiding,
avoiding conflict
Perhaps that's true...
Maybe I am lost,
But what if I'm hiding from myself?

It's here.
All around you
Look and you'll see
It's infinite, our human brains can't understand it because of it's complexity.
The instruments we use vary widely
From burning our hair on soldering irons
To ripping it out when code doesn't work.
We are constantly trying to understand everything around us
Never lose that curiosity

Lie she here
At the foot of the tearstained bed.
Ever watchful,
Ever alert.
Above her lay her only friend,
The one with the inner demons.
She looks up to assure the life she holds in her possession is still being lived.
The soul still beating,
She lays her head back on her paws and watches for the inner demons of her master

I remember when you said you loved me the first time
    The words carressing my cheek like you do
    My soul, held ever so gently in your hands.
    That first kiss, held like a final note on a piano, sweet to no end.
    When I fell asleep on your lap, nightmares later, the faint memory of you chasing the demons away, floating on the edge of my thoughts
    Will you love me?
    Today
    Tomorrow
    Forever?
Unconditionally, my love.

You pretend to be okay,
You put on a facquade
I know. I understand.
I do too.
We try so hard to pretend to be okay that occasionally we even feel okay.