With every second that passes
I become less and less of myself
The lashing bite of your acerbic tongue
Eviscerates my soul
leaving an empty shell, barren and bare
You blew off steam to make yourself feel better
You vented your spleen in a breathless tirade of self righteousness
You huffed and puffed and blew away my sense of self worth

I squeeze my ears shut but i can hear the sniggering of the shadows at the edges of my vision
My mates, my friends, my people
And when you have left, those scavengers shall continue in their ritual of ridicule
But we both ignore them
this moment is reserved for us

In that charged atmosphere of emotion, I feel a connection to you
Your face carved in that rictus of anger shows me how human you are
You're not some big bad wolf
You're a man, sometimes a creature of logic; you always have to be right
A being who strives for perfection in words and deeds
I am a human
A boy, sometimes a creature of emotion; frail, clumsy and clueless
Wont to making mistakes
I am only human and I am myself; not you and
Not whatever you want me to be or wish i could be
I am only human
The seeds of resentment burrow deeper and take root
With every word that passes your lips, I lose more and more of myself
With every beat of my heart, I grow weaker
The spectre of disappointment hangs heavily on my shoulders
I am a boy, I have a voice
But I cannot speak
I no longer want to
After all, who would listen to the words of a boy over a man

Roiling emotions like thunderstorms
Yet on you face, an angel's smile adorns  
That curve of happiness, so false and sly
Never quite reaches your eyes

"I'm fine" is a steady lie that slips from your lips
Always so composed, calm, collected
But now and then
A yearning flits across your face
The floodgates crack, and emotions threaten to burst
But then the dam holds, the mask slips back in place


You don't have to be so strong all the time
I know, you don't want to look a mess
So you bury and hide your weakness
You always look so brave
But the truth, your eyes always do betray
Whenever you think no one is looking
They sparkle with a glimmer of tears

Motes of emotion dance in your eyes sometimes
But they flicker, sputter and die
It all happens so fast
That moment of life crumbles to dust
I know it can be hard
You already have so many scars
You don't know that I watch you
But I do
I can't speak to you yet,
Maybe you don't anyone to see who you are
But I will be here, waiting
When you need someone to talk to
I'll be here.

The sound of falling rain you said always makes you happy
That was my first image of you
Hair plastered to the sides of your head
you stood, face turned to the sky with a smile of utter bliss on your face
The tears of the sky gently caressed your face like streams of liquid diamond
Three seconds.........
That's all the time the universe granted me to catch a glimpse of you
I remember that moment with crystal clarity
The rain always felt cold and dreary to me.
Those tiny cold drops of water, evidence of the sorrow of mother earth
The thunder and lightning , the rage of Gaia at the darkness of human nature
Yet in that moment, my breath froze in my lungs
I felt a strong impulse to jump out into the rain
And so I did
The driver shouted in anger
I had not paid my cab fare you see
In that timeless moment
The air held a certain tranquility
Almost as if the forces of nature had ground to a halt
As if the whole world stared at your majesty with bated breath
In that curtain of raindrops, I saw beauty with no equal
Your tinkling laughter seemed to cause the very air to shiver with delight
I saw unrestrained childlike happiness at the world and its beauty
I took a perfect memory of you
On that rainy day
The day that we met......

Is it much of a life without you I wonder
Was there ever much meaning to it
An empty  life
A house of cards
A shelter built with sand
A painting made of dust
So ephemeral in its scope
In time, it would all slowly fall apart

Would that I could trail my fingers down your spine
- Just like I used to
Tracing every curl and curve
-like it was yesterday
Feeling the smoothness of your skin
-marking the bumps and ridge once more
Would that I could

Without you
The whispers, fears and tears are no longer kept away
When the haunting specture of depression rears its head
I find myself sinking into its deep suffocating depths
No more do I feel your sunny warmth on my skin
No more will the sweet nectar that is your voice be ferried to my ears
With you I never despaired,
Now despair and sorrow are my bedfellows

By the cruel and capricious hands of fate
My heart lies broken and shattered
A thousand icy shards pierce my entire being
I bleed from a thousand cuts deep within my skin
My screams echo in the haunted chambers of my chest
Yet no one can see me bleed
Yet no one can hear me scream
No one......

Sometimes, it feels as if all my words are the wrong shape and none of them will be able to fit into the silence left when our conversation pauses

A tapestry is woven piece by piece
And each piece added to the next brings greater clarity to what to me is a masterpiece
All those little pieces add up to you
So I offer you another piece of that tapestry

As I've said before,
I like how unguarded your eyes are
The more I look into them, the deeper I fall into their  depths
You believe that the eyes are windows to the soul
To me, voices sings the song of the spirit
The voice drawn in conversation provides a bridge
People are different
Yet linked we are, soul to soul, through the eyes
Spirit to spirit, through the harmony of our voices

But I guess I should start from the top
You must know
Your voice, always makes my heart a little warmer each time I hear it.
I have no doubt it, you hear this a lot
Your voice is wonderful
What others have said, matters not to me,
true though they may be

The sound of your voice alone, devoid of words is enchanting
It leaves the listener in thrall to its melodic symphonies
Pleasant to the ears
The audible vibrations thrum through the skin, flows through scarlet blood to touch the spirit
Within that confluence of words; a simple conversation, intimacy is born.
Our souls may touch through the eyes
But our spirits resonate in sync through our voices

I have told you, I like how you speak
Words flow from your lips with such breathtaking delicacy
Your lips, honoured heralds of your words move with meticulous care
Each syllable sharp and precise; a fine piercing edge that lances every distracting thought till I cannot help but be drawn in by the lilting tones of your voice

The deeper I look into your eyes the more I realise that within those depths are the buried remnants of different past life experiences;
Some are good, some are bad and some lie inbetween.
A lot of stories fall within those grey areas
But your voice seeps with an uncanny alchemy of happiness, sadness, fear, uncertainty and a host of other emotions.
Where your voice rises in happiness, my heart sings with joy
Where your voice drops in sadness, my heart sinks with sorrow and pain.
When your voice shakes with uncertainty, my heart twinges with anxiety.

Angel, what a befitting name
Surely, yours is a voice that only heaven can make
The perfect instrument wrought by the Hand of God
A warm summer breeze
That is how the sound of your voice feels to my ears
Pleasant and refreshing
Would that I could hear it every day
But I can't,
Sometimes
Just sometimes
Whenever I feel a warm breeze on my neck
Around my ears
I cannot help but wonder
I cannot help but wish
Maybe it's your whispering voice that I hear

You always found it strange how often I would hold your hand and compare the sizes of our hands;
how I would, from time to time, seek to intertwine our fingers.
In your mind, I'm sure our little marriage of digits amused you.
With fingers intertwined, I could sometimes feel your heartbeat.
A slight quickening of your pulse told me that though you did not ask, you wanted that connection as much as I did.
Joined by our hands, our heartbeats communicating in synch in a throbbing language of their own, we were immersed in a peculiar rhythm of life.
In this moment in time, we had no need for words