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Dec 2020 · 129
Simply Beautiful
Alina Dec 2020
I find beauty in the simple things, and usually the most beautiful things are simple
Simple does not equal boring, those are two very different things
And you peach, are many things, and boring is not one of them
You are simply beautiful
A fact that is clear as day
Simple as that.
Sep 2020 · 100
Paranoia
Alina Sep 2020
The fresh air, the sunshine, and the anonymity of the unknown.
Outside you can be adventurous, free, or held captive by fear.
The constant anxiety of never really feeling safe.
Because even when you're surrounded by smiling strangers and crowds of people you’re still alone.
Kidnappers, killers, and pedophiles, knowing they exist sends shivers down my spine.
Some days I enjoy going outside, the greenery, the sights to see, and my favorite thing the sky.
The wisps of clouds canvasing their simple but elite contrast to the sky.
No filter, no limit to the wonders they project to my eyes.
Whether it was clear, stormy, night, or day I was never unsatisfied.
I wish I could hold on to the feeling forever
But the irrational fear of being taken or the thoughts of a tragedy always spoiled the glee and brought me back to reality.
The world is not safe, there are bad people, people who want to harm and hurt.
They never even give families a chance to say goodbye.
There are good days and bad days.
Days where I don’t give myself the chance to step outside and see a peek of sunshine
Or days where I can let myself go to a park, laugh and have a good time.
It’s not outside that is bad or harmful, but the paranoia that instills fear and chains me by a leash.
Mar 2020 · 101
Hey there Child
Alina Mar 2020
Hey there child
I know you feeling down
But without you, the world wouldn’t be round
Wouldn’t be smooth
Wouldn’t be kind
You’re the gravity that keeps me down
Not holding me back but tethering me to reality
I can imagine life without you, it would ****
There’d be a crater in my heart
And a hole in my thoughts
Thoughts of what I would do to try to make you laugh
Just making you smile would make my day
You’re not fragile, you just need to be watered with care
I got the time
I got the patience
Just don’t leave
Jan 2020 · 124
Little Bird
Alina Jan 2020
This Little Bird was meant to fly
And when she did she flew so high
In the sky, she spent her days
She knew no limits, she wouldn’t break
She was happy, she wasn’t afraid
Afraid of the consequences our actions make
One day when that little bird flew
She fell into a void that only grew
She crashed into this void on an ordinary day, an ordinary flight
This Little Bird never fell and didn’t know what to do
She crashed so hard and every part hurt
Her wings were torn and cracked
Her heart ached to escape, to go back
In this void, she was surrounded by emptiness and pain
Pain that couldn’t fade away
Why does the emptiness make who was once a happy little bird feel so hateful
She used to fly so high in the sky
But now she just falls lower and lower
Everything she loves is out of reach
This hole inside her grows so deep
Little bird cries, Little Bird weeps
So much a puddle forms at her feet
She sinks
She’s gasping for air
Reaching for something to hold
How could things go so bad
Why cant she save herself
All she wanted was to fly
Not to be alone, to wither and die
All she wanted was to feel the wind under her wings
Not to feel every feather fall off at its seams
All she wanted was to love and be loved
Not to be soaked in tears and blood
Her world is broken, too damaged to be fixed
Because what is Little Bird without her wings
Without her passion and the want to sing
What good is your voice when you feel like you cannot speak
Like what you say won’t change a thing
Like you have no purpose without your wings
Then that void comes crashing down
Blocking any hope of breaking out
You spread out all that’s left of you
And slowly come to the floor
You slow your breathing and make no sound
You don’t let yourself feel anything but the jagged ground
You close your eyes for the very last time
And remember what it was like to fly
But you know you’ll never fly again
Goodbye little bird, Goodbye
Nov 2019 · 178
Walking in the Rain
Alina Nov 2019
Walking in the rain
Water falling from the sky
I hop across the puddles
Not a peek of sunshine in sight
No umbrella to shelter me from the pour of many raindrops
But with a smile on my face and without a care in the world
I admire the beauty and the simplicity of it all
The beauty in the rain, the clouds, and the mud
All of them clueless of the wonder projecting to my eyes
The calm serene sound of the streaming tears from the soggy pillows up above
Then without a second thought,
I start skipping in the rain
A calm yet thrill joy erupts from inside me
I laugh not caring who stares at me
Not caring what’s around me
Looking crazy for laughing and skipping for no reason at all
But I’m happy
I’m happy to admire the beauty of the rain, puddles, and mud
Happy to witness the beauty when those who may have looked at many times but never actually see
But then I slip
I fall
Dazed from what just occurred
How feelings can just change, as fast as they emerge
But then someone taps on my shoulder and helps me up
I gaze into eyes filled with the exact awe I had before
Nov 2019 · 136
Beauty is Pain
Alina Nov 2019
We cry into our pillows
Cry at our reflections in the mirrors
We cry ourselves to sleep
Wanting to look like the models cause they’re every girl's hero
Wipe your tears
They say to be beautiful you need to withstand the pain
But we are already in pain
When we look at others and compare ourselves to them we feel ashamed
The feeling doesn't go away
But still, we put that smile on our face and compliment others just the same
Society has changed and expected us to do the same
To be beautiful we’re supposed to have a size zero waist and shave our legs
Not wanting to eat, and hoping our waist will magically shrink
Our parents tell us, “Everybody's beautiful and unique in their own way”
Which is just another way of saying everybody's the same
So we fit in and follow trends
And lie every time we say we’re alright
But we are never satisfied
How can we let it go this far
Never a chance to relax and breathe
So we concede
To something we don't want to be a reality
And we feel worthless                                                        ­                        
Stuck in the same cycle and routine
Smile all day and say that you’re okay
All the expectations
All the fake hugs
The fake friends
The fake love
But we drown it out and live our own fantasy
Thinking about all the possibilities of being free
Free from all the hate
Free of the envy and jealousy we feel each and every day
To just be happy with who you are
To look forward to tomorrow with a real smile
A new day
A clean slate
A new life with a bright future
A future where we feel like we’ll live through today in one piece
Where we won’t break.
Oct 2019 · 123
Waiting
Alina Oct 2019
I'm okay
Okay I’ll be
Waiting for a miracle
Waiting for glee
Don't keep me waiting
I'm not very patient

Time goes by
I sit and sigh
Waiting for change
Days go by and everything’s the same

I’m still okay
I’m still me
I’m still waiting to feel happy inside
Still waiting for when I can say
I’m better than okay,
But I’ll wait
I’ll cry
I’ll sit and sigh while watching the world pass by

Every day should be a new beginning
But not for me
It’s still the same
It’s still just night and day

The grass is green and the sky is blue
Nothing is different
Nothing is new
I’m still me and you’re still you

What ever happened to happy endings
But I feel like I haven't reached the beginning
Oct 2019 · 140
I'll be Okay
Alina Oct 2019
There's a place I heard about
A place I’ll stay
Leave behind my worries
I’ll be far away
Leave behind my problems
I’ll be far away
Leave behind my life
My hopes & dreams
Leave behind my loved ones and my family
Say goodbye to my friends
Say goodbye to my home
I’ll be gone
To a place I heard of
A place I’ll stay
Not to a place I’ve known
Not to a place I’ve seen
I must go now
My worries and problems are creeping up on me
No more regrets
No more doubts
I’ll be free
I’ll say
“ I’ll be back “
A long time from now
A long time from today
But I’ll be back and I’ll be okay.
Oct 2019 · 131
My Fantasy
Alina Oct 2019
My Fantasy


I can’t explain
The thoughts in my brain
A dream that will never come true
Too many questions
Not enough answers
But when I’m with you I can’t complain
You’re my fantasy
My dreams
My life
You’re my everything
In your arms
I drift away
From a world I'd like to leave one day
You’re my anchor
My plane
My plan B when everything that matters fades away
Will you be my fantasy
I know it's a long shot from reality
I’ll wish
I’ll pray
That I can be with you
We’ll fly away
No more tears
No more fears
You numb the pain
Be my fantasy
Doesn't have to be a reality
But we’ll be safe
And we’ll be saved
Oct 2019 · 431
Listen
Alina Oct 2019
Listen
Listen to the way of the wind
Listen to the laughter in the streets
Listen to thump of your heart
It’s all alive
The whirl of the wind is alive
The laughter of the kids is alive
And you are alive
You have a voice
And I’m here to listen

— The End —