What a hazy morning
To wake up so early
Yet late
Without the smallest moment
To think of last night
But im reminded still
By the pounding in my head
And walking in zig zags through a quiet house

Driving in the snow
So early in spring
Or so late in winter
Coffee in my hand
But it has me in its own
Holding me above water
Long enough until an hour from now
The clock will stand still

The way I feel today
Is a way that I can't say
Because
It is not today
It is tomorrow
I work so soon
from now

Fast food
Why
Convenience
Why
Must you be
So tempting
So bad
For a man
Whos work
Is from road to road

I

Am a wolf

That is all
I
can be

All
I
choose to be

I
Is right
For me

There is no such thing as nothing
There is always something
Some emotion
Some feeling
Some being

But is it life?

That's up to you

On this roof
Where its hot and breezy
Work seems small
And life seems easy

Think of your favorite movie
You see it
Hear it
Feel it

What you feel
Through a screen
Revealed

Imagine all things

If you will

To be revealed
In such a way
As a memory

What is real anyway

What is it when I write
Just plain words
From left to right

Connecting to your inner dictionary
Translation adds up the equation
Plain words, ordinary

Paradigms shift
These thoughts flow
A picture in my head
To you shall go

An apples skin
To cover the sweet meat within
Sanguine as a murderous sin

Polished to a shine
A red mirror for those who dare
To stare upon themselves

Teeth sink inside

And an image into your mind

It is not an impression you leave
It is the impression you be

Well
I wish i could've given you
What you gave me
Incredible feelings
The electricity

Since then
I havent been the same
All these thoughts
Weigh heavy on my brain

I want
To write
A poem
But cannot
Find words

When one adjusts themselves to The Box
One is then confined by it

A flood runs down my wretched spine
So many toxins
And wasted time
Flushed on out
Of this brain of mine
Here it lay on this little phone screen
All this blackness
Shimmers with colors I've never seen

Equality
Is not achievable
It simply is

Inequality
Is the desire
To be equal

I am me
I am naive
I am physically strong
And emotionally weak

I am a man
The biggest of labels
The words that others
Use to define us

I am a man
But I don't let that define me
I have a feminine side
And that's my reality

So hard is it
To live like this
In a world where you are expected to be
What you are physically

I'm constantly in motion
I cannot sit still
My mind often wanders
So I work hard to stall the stray

When I get home
Things get hard
I think of the love I desire
And how few people truly feel my fire

It's these feelings that make me press on
These feeling that fuel the fire
I write these words
Because I'm feeling inspired

Moments surround us
As we reach to them
Weaving and winding
Through and from us

Thread so thin
Through the hole of the needles
Their micro molecular gaps
Seemingly infinite
Over every inch of our body

I envy the earth and her seasons
Summer, fall, winter, spring
So systematic, and nearly predictable
From one to the next, she flawlessly go

How I wish I were the same
That my ups and my downs
Could be predicted So easily
Maybe in time, but ahead now I can't see

The fact that there is an is, is what really is.

So much on my mind this morning

I had some dreams last night
Severed finger salad
And many missing finger men

Egyptian guardians
The secrets they protect
That i had found apparently

Bombs being thrown
Just to see things go
BOOM

All these things happened,
Or i remember them,
Because i woke up late

An hour past start time
Rollin in

Being talked down to
By the boss
Saying my focus yesterday was lost

The cherry on top
Is my girls comin home
does she want to be my girl

Is this week over yet

I can't believe
After all this time
I can see you
And still wish you were mine

It is not easy
To express
The way I see
Happiness

Heat
A property of matter
And its absence
Can make things easily shatter

Light
Waves and reflections
Without it
Dark is to be mentioned

Sorrow
Through my veins
Rotting and rusting
My wonderful brain

Sorrow
And the lack thereof
Turns my head
To smile at the sun

I should have never
Kissed you
Because now
I only miss you
And we should
Have never
Slept together

The things you do
The things you see
They make not you
They make not me
What makes you
Is what you percieve

Tires still spinning
As we swiftly approach
A mess of metal
A mess of traffic

Pulled to the side
Then to find
The man and his dog
Safely alive

She swung the door up
The truck on its side
The man came out
Panicked like hed died

I then hopped inside
Grabbed the dog
Up and outside
Glad they both

Still alive

The things that used to be
So big to me
Are now quite small
Considering now I can see

Ever have nights when you can't sleep
Don't worry friend
I understand
The chasms of my mind too, are deep

I need your eyes
Help me see

I need your ears
Let me hear

I see in you
Not one fear

Lend me your mouth
I don't speak often

Lend me your skin
Mine so void of comfort

Tug my strings
Help me move

Just don't let go
Ill fall tangled

Ill wait on the cold hard ground
Hoping a new puppeteer come around

And there ill wait
And ill wait, wait

Too much time shall pass
Too much string with too much slack

One day i may open my eyes
Without another willing it so

But Ill close them once again
Sleep awhile, have some dreams

Dreams of freedom
And of places far

Nowhere near
This cold hard floor

When i awake
My eyes will open

Ill feel something
Something new

My legs theyll work
Without a string

I could move
I could squirm

Tightening the web of tangled string
Constricting me to this awful place

And so again
My eyes will shut

Forever bound
To this awful rut

Ill dream again
Of things bazaar

And places
Way too far

"The dream is a better place to stay
There i can move, i can play!"

In my dream
To myself i would say

But every dream has its end
And i have to come to life again

So my eyes would open
My legs would move

Knowing not
What i should do

But i could feel my hands
And move them too

With them i feel the string
And the prison its been

Id tug so hard
As others would do

Hoping it would help me move
Away from this place, somewhere new

And once i would tug too hard
The string from me had broke

I knew then what power i hold
And had an idea bold

Id gather my strength
And gather the strings

One by one
Pulling them from me

Eventually i could stand
And finally

I was free

Mildy unpredictable
Fully unstoppable

Beautiful
Nurturing
Comforting

Destructive
Cold
Dep­ressing

Nothing but cyclic
And anothers perspective

And in this reality
there's absolutely nothing
a joke can't see
it's all just chaos
Just short infinity
Thats infinitely long
Just like my *******
Built up and brought down
theres never a dull moment
for this silly clown
everythings weird
But it's that concept
that i hold dear
Laugh with those
who laugh at fear

And I ask

What energy
Is held
Within whatever
You may consume

I consumed
A cigarette
One that I
Politely bummed

Observation,
A powerful tool.

Consciousness,
It observes you too.

Imagine,
If you will,
The inner workings,
Of a watch.

All the tiny gears,
Gently colliding,
Slowly sliding,
Like lovers locked in dance.

All different sizes,
Shaped in their own way,
But all equally as important,
To keep constant flow.

Turning and turning,
The little ones go,
Turning the larger,
But the larger turns slow.

Their size and their speed,
Mean nothing to them,
In their own little circle,
They forever go.

They maintain their rhythm,
Their sense of immortal flow,
Then and only then,
Will the bigger things ever go.

Nicotine
In my body
Dwelling
Chilling
Helping the act
Forgetting
But then again
Killing

I always wear a smile
Even if i dont want to
Its called being kind
Considering what others go through

Everyone has something
That pulls their mind to a twist
But to see another smile
Is knowing happiness exists

I have a sword
On the wall
I see past the iron
I hear its call

I like the weight
Like i've felt it before
Maybe sometime ago
I was in a brutal war

Just a decoration now
A conversation piece
For the thoughts on how
Chivalrous knights lived life

Look to a fruit
Your favorite fruit
It has a name

If that fruit
Were a person
How would it view
A fruit that is of the same

It's all about energy
The things that matter need
Is the same for humans to be
See...

Potential,
Kinetic,
And.
Thermal.
Mostly.

Everyone should be
Floating atop it all,
Always ready
For their
Biggest fall
Holding steady
And standing tall
                                                    
Hoping,­
Or,
Knowing.

That you wont
Fall

I wish to return
To a place I yearn
Where I never learn
And my stomach never churns

The place in my mind
A place I'm far from blind
Where strange adventures I find
No worries of unclear signs

Dreaming
Of anything but
My internal bleeding

Language is beauty
It is the connection from you to me
It is a feeling through sound
By noise we are not bound
It is from sound we are free

Language may be the same
But its energies be not tamed
Through each person speach
Its power
Is up to thee

Thick breezy air
Between the stars
Between here and there

Bright bright moon
Setting the rising sun's
Bright bright mood

I wish i could take a picture
One to share
From my eyes
That ive just seen

A kindred soul
Walking the streets
So late on this night
In spring

Being a proper clown
comes with knowing
when to joke around

The time to not
I have never found

Joy is a single moment
A happy hour upon your life
Maybe a few strung together
Viewed from such great heights

Pain starts from one moment
And injury lasts
No matter how high you find yourself
The fall will have the greater impact

Those few moments weaved
Into the fabrics of time
Are only held together by memories
The grips of your mind

The moments you feel
That don't feel good
Leave footprints on your body
They beg not to leave

The look of the face
Of a man I want to end

Let your energy ascend

Yelling at your wife
Questioning my ability
Not one gentle bone
Lies behind your whithered skin

You're a fool
To be so bitter

I await the day you leave

Why oh why
The need to say a man has died
To say he did it for us
And he did it for love
Then why must you hate
No man is free
No man is safe
From humanity
Be what we are
We are what we convey
If we choose to pray
Or nay
We need not god
We need not drugs
What we need
Is love

What is this light?
This light that i see?
Wonderful
Every light you see
Every little light
Even you and me
You need not clarity
What it is you may not see
But that theres energy
Thats beauty
Something creating
Something to see
Cause without light
See would not be
It is of light
That makes you see
That cradles the eyes
Of you and me
Light shine on my vocabulary
And let from it be shown
Creativity

The mind of an artist
How fine
How insatiably divine

I find
Mine

The life I once had
Had to have left me
With a sense of sad

I do not remember
But at one time did
Probably when I
Was still a kid

A childs brain
Seeming so
Void of pain

The life they recall
And usually
Remembering
Their fall

For twenty years now
I have been asleep
Lost in a nightmare
Wanting to leap

I am awake
I am alive

Time now to bring
Happiness with me
And leave behind
Such pain that stings

To the next life
I dare not
Bring strife

What makes me
Is the way
I make poetry
The way
I view a tree

I sometimes give
And I sometimes give in
Questioning the way I live
Loops and twists and circles
Make it hard to stay positive

I know not restraint
Whether in life
Or the nightmares I paint
When I give
It's always more than I make
That is not by mistake

Things done
Things to be
Is the cause of one
That one is me

Loops and twists and circles
Tend to unwind
Just keep your head up
Stay out of your own mind
Enjoy the theoretical
Concept of time