What the hell am I doing
What the hell do I care
I'm just wasting away
In my computer chair

I had a dream
Last night in my sleep
I was with my ancestors
In a place that gave me the creeps

All around me yet intangible
I knew they were there
In the mausoleum
The air smelled of fear

It wasn't a nightmare
I didn't wake up in sweats
But I did have my time
I lived among the dead

What the hell am I doing
What the hell do I care
I'm just wasting away
In my computer chair

Thoughts last night I would rather not repeat
Lead me to dreams I still remember from my sleep

Places from when I was a boy
Surrounded by my childhood toys

Alone in my room as I once was
Alone in my room as I still am

The sun shines through the window
I can feel the moment as I watch everything glow

Hidden meaning within my words
Every word you read
Like a window without blinds
People outside can see

Maybe you have to look harder
Everything seems so lonely

I envy the earth and her seasons
Summer, fall, winter, spring
So systematic, and nearly predictable
From one to the next, she flawlessly go

How I wish I were the same
That my ups and my downs
Could be predicted So easily
Maybe in time, but ahead now I can't see

"Maybe this world just isn't right for me."
I say as I think that could never be
"Maybe if I cut this silver chord,
No no... I'd just find myself,
In another place,
Just as bored."

"Maybe I'd be just a bit less lonely,
Maybe I could finally focus,
And do what the others do and make money,
But I doubt that will ever sound fun to me."

"Maybe then I could be an artist,
But then again why can I not tomorrow."
Sometimes it seems I'm destined for sorrow.

Joy is a single moment
A happy hour upon your life
Maybe a few strung together
Viewed from such great heights

Pain starts from one moment
And injury lasts
No matter how high you find yourself
The fall will have the greater impact

Those few moments weaved
Into the fabrics of time
Are only held together by memories
The grips of your mind

The moments you feel
That don't feel good
Leave footprints on your body
They beg not to leave

Some days are just black and white
Greyscale, monochrome
Just plain
Vanilla ice cream

Other days are vibrant and astounding
Kaleidoscopes viewed through kaleidoscopes
Completely original and new
Mint chocolate chip

And for me it seems
There's no in-between