It's the only decision that you made of your own choosing
While nobody cares that you're always losing
And nobody cares that you're always bleeding
Say, who really cares about what you're feeling?
When all your love will simply amount to nothing.

Trusting in our savior to protect us from harm
We believed in your neverending reign of glory
Your thick, tall lies, built us up above
Scaffolding our expectations of you really were
A liar, a fake, a false revelation.

Do I matter?
Do I have a purpose?
Should I die?
Ask, and ask, and ask.
Pray. Pray. Pray.
Yet you receive nothing but contempt. Nothing but silence. Nothing at all-
Except your voice, echoing in the halls.

Regardless,
I still deem you as my savior.
Lies piled upon lies,
Delusions become my reality.
So, reach out your hand to me,
My kind lord
You shine brightly, among the stars
Your grasp felt like salvation.
You are my everything,
My reason to survive.
You are my joy and pride,
My reason to keep this life.

My god, I am your devotee
Dearest lord, please bless me
Free us from our worldly desires,
From all of our selfish inhibitions,
And lead us to the correct end, the final decision.

But why?
Why?
Purpose fills my mind
I don't understand a thing
It's quiet, no words are spoken,
Just pure, suffocating silence
Take me home,
I've assimilated with the garden of bones.
Are you feeling happy now?
Finally you have peace
No more noise screaming in your head
Such gratifying relief.

Apologies fill my head
How can I explain my actions?
Forgiveness is out of the question
I'm sorry, for lying
A story without its conclusion
I'll leave the stage
I'm tired of this endless suffering
I'm still stuck in the beginning
Drifting.

What to do? What to do?
Sorrow fills my bones
Sorrow, I'm sorry.
How can I ever get you to look at me the same?
I know you're gone
And it's exhausting
You're gone, and this love is toxic.

But where else could I go?
Only home, in your arms.
So accept me back, my love.
Hold me tight, hold me close
Love me forever, and love me the most.
While I make many empty promises
Like when I promised you
That I would never leave
I never meant for it to turn out to be a lie
If I had told you, a long time ago
How I truly felt, how I loved you so
Would you still have left, and let me go?

Regrets are boundless.
I’m sorry dearest,
I understand your grief
And I’m sorry for leaving,
Will you forgive me?

How can that lovely, pursed mouth of yours
Spew such horrid and distasteful lies,
Utter nonsense dripping from your lips
When you say,
Dig my heart out, for the masses to see
How much I loved you, how dear you were to me
They sting and burn, chipping away at my skin
Ruining me from the inside out, I've become ugly
It hurts when you speak, it's killing me slowly.
Why, why do you hate me?

i turn to god and ask him silently
what right do you have to determine our lives?
the strings of fate, grip us tightly
we are bound for the path you have set for us
how much are you going to keep robbing the poor?
until they've spent every last of their expenditure
what choice do the poor men have?
they can only follow along reluctantly.
on and on, to the front they go
like ants they die out, quietly.

this is hell on earth.
repeating this cycle again and again.
of forgiveness, of forgetfulness,
oh how i despite it so.
i wait, and wait, and wait,
for a moment of peace,
for a moment of freedom.
but there is nothing-
except my cold, bitter self,
and my long lost hope for the future.
i lay there, and rot,
knowing my time of purgatory will never end.
it will just.
keep.
going.
and i will sink,
and let myself drown in this sorrow,
so i may never have to think about
struggling to breathe again.