its a long way down
down and down, goes the stairs
tilting right around the bend
sometimes, it takes a realisation
that some things can't be mended ever again
that a mistake lives with you forever
like a stray dog following its savior
once abandoned by its family
only to find itself wrapped in the arms of
a god, a false divinity
with fake promises of cherished love
i fall in love with a lie instantly
there's a little less than hope left
and i feel like i have no choice but to give in
losing my final say in the matter
i throw my casket out in surrender
asking the coroner to prepare the body
to seep my bones with euthanasia
and **** the life in me, forever

im sorry for ever daring to be born
and for every breath i stole from the world
i apologise for it all, every single terrible deed
my regrets run deep, seeping into the underneath
what should i say now? im sorry.
i beg of you, pleading for your mercy
please return this body of mine to the sea
and set my unsightly remains free
i wish to leave this earth peacefully
now, i sit alone, surrounded by the dense foliage
all alone, as these things should be

what does it matter?
i tire, i toil tirelessly
my mind goes awander
im not sure where i am now
in the moment, or lost forever
that, i think about carefully,
something i take the time to ponder
when one is far apart from another,
does that make the heart grow fonder?
or cause the bond between two to grow stronger
a striking question indeed, i wonder.

sorrow fills my being
it feels so emptying
words feel funny, like an inside joke
and i stand around silly, trying not to mope
about the people i left behind,
the words forgotten, trying to cope
with all the visible seriousness in an act that must be taken, i float aimlessly
my hands grasping around the line
of a firmly tied rope
rhymes are silly, words are silly
nothing makes sense anymore
why bother with a sense of structure?
what it makes for a fitting end
will never be able to replicate the magic of a beginning
and the brilliant birth of an idea
that all stems from me, my thinking
died that very night, when i lost hope
when the song of rhythm was stolen from me
when my spirit faded away, into the world.
there is, there was nothing.
my existence, my birth is an endless cycle,
of misery, i turn about waiting for the end of this tragedy
what comes first, the idea, the thought, chicken, or-
the egg's yolk?

im-
tired.
what used to be?
gone.
i need some form of pity,
some reason to keep living,
to keep leaving, to keep doing something
anything at all
but nothing comes to mind
splutters of semblance crosses my mind
i miss you,
sometimes.

the spirit of a ghost withers away
in the eyes of the world, it stills
what does it mean to live freely?
no one knows the answer, but we can try
to live without regrets, is the greatest joy
unfortunately, life may go astray,
but still, try to live your life,
it's the only one you get in this lifetime
i wonder why, people are only born once?
is it because we cherish things more?
they say second chances are true, but what is the redo for life?
you only have one opportunity, so you must take it
i regret my choices, but i must move on
no matter what, grab the strands of life firmly
and go into the light, standing bravely
embrace your number one,
your only one.

words flow about freely
something i never thought i would see
but then i hoped to see you again
and that came true, didn't it?
i thought i lost you forever, my former self
to the ends of the earth i travelled, looking for you
finally, at the finale of the journey, i realised-
you were with me all along, waiting.