I had a child in me, I realised,
when I fought with you like one,
with my eyes shining, a wide smile,
and a laughter breaking out...

Didn't think twice before I blurted,
couldn't care less of what lay ahead,
out came the bottled up excitement,
with just your presence near me...

Felt what happiness in real is,
shared whatever was in the mind,
talked for hours straight with a smile,
what more could I ask for...

If this isn't love, tell me what is..

Dragging each day to the moon like a heavy stone,
Wishing all of this was a stupid dream,
Hoping I would hear you when I wake up,
Passing time's been a struggle without you...

Smiling stupidly at our old memories,
Crying myself to sleep cause that's all I've got,
Knowing you'll never return back to my embrace,
Passing time's been a struggle without you...

Talking as if you were howering me,
Walking into a crowd of smiles as if you were beside,
Sitting on a bench with my head tilted as if on your shoulders,
Passing time's been a struggle without you...

There is no wound that time doesn't heal,
Why then, is it getting harder to breathe?
Like a rope tightened around the neck slow.

Smiles, laughs, and memories we shared,
doesn't seem to dim the pain and remorse.

Another day ends in darkness,
with the same routine beginning,
of soaking the pillows with tears,
whispering words of comfort to myself.

The ticking of the clock,
and soft noises piercing into my ears,
makes me want to scream my lungs out,
but I just struggle to silence the next sob.

And on nights like these,
I wish I could join you, wherever,
bringing an end to the pain engulfing me.
Just can't find the strength to seek the unknown.

Carols sounding all around,
Lights hanging like little fireflies,
Smiles, chattering, and laughter fills the air,
A good aura and aroma spreads around.

All of this, I once held dear, does not,
fill the void, that you left me with.

The more I seek answers,
the more tangled my thoughts get.
You left to find a happier place,
and it haunts me that it wasn't under the same sky.

Like how a shoot sprouts from earth,
each day, a thought emerges in my mind,
Of the coulds and shoulds and if's,
Even though I know they are all in vain.

Like a tiny splinter,
stuck deep in the skin,
You are in my thoughts,
every minute of the day...

The ones who care,
they try to help me get it out,
But I keep pushing you deep,
not ready to let go ever...

It hurts, and I have run out,
of tears to shed and words to say.
But you are safe within me,
never judged or blamed...

I wish upon the shooting stars and on every 11:11,
that you'd come back with your radiant smile.
You are in a place, no one's come back from,
I can only wonder if you are fine and wait...