I watch each delicate thread

Pull away

(Frail twine,
The string of life,
Warn from wash and
Off white)

The plink of one more

Surrender as

One by one

Their little hands

Let go under the pressure

(Too taxing;
Cracked glass
Invasive fissures
Wiggling their way
Downward until
Wrath forces its way
To the surface)

And prepare to lose

(Control
Tumbling upward in a
Bittersweet cone of
Fermented
Nineteenseventyeight
Exquisite wine
Ready to shoot
Straight to the brain
Unraveling the ties,
Letting the pieces fall)

Myself in fragments

Scattered upon the floor

Of who I really am

(or who I never knew
But learned to grow
Apart from.
Caged in my fear
Savagely
Awaiting freedom
So prohibited
;Slavery)

Until I shed my shell

(the painted
Actionfiguretell
Of the mold
I came from.
An assembly line model
Struck in posses
Clothed in garments of
Rejected leisure)

And feel my truenity

(the gentle nature
Peel out
And bloom
Like the dark rose
I’ve seen time and time again
Amidst a lot of pebbles
Waiting so eagerly
To be picked by
The one naïve
Green soul
To let the eye fall
In color
And lick the blood of christ
So tainted
With illusion)

***** the finger

Let the blood run out

Bleed me out

( ailments birthed
of a gentle betrayal
disease my being.
embalmed of any
logic for sense
the salvation of patience is
left by the wayside;
a token for those who
stop to think )

My sanity ridded

Corpse

A poor excuse

For my former self

(falling)

I drown my broken heart with the slow poison beneath the orange glow of the exit sign. Cheap goldent tequila wreaking havoc on my liver. Nothing changes from day to day for me, my misery stems from selfishness thinking of myself and my problems and my own tears_ while the true broken hearted sleep on cardboard beneath the stars. I've been in love before, I was a child, I wanted her name tatooed over my heart I wanted her lips on ny neck and my chest. Her arms tangled and legs spread, teenage ***** moan heavy on my ear. I rember sweat and hair being pulled and ciggarette smoke and perfume and love letters, shaving my head in the livingroom. ******* in the attic of the church while your aunts wedding went on downatairs. its not easy to forget those things, smoking a joint after a long night of drinking and ******* like animals, you looked at me, and you seemed a million years away, your black hair stuck to your sweaty skin, on your neck and your naked chest and the pillow and you said, Jacob, I love you. Cutting me with blue ice eyes. Your knees pressed into my stomach as you carve your name above my heart. I thought it was beautiful when you took that carpet knife quickly sterilized in whiskey and pressed it to the white skin of your hip and carving an ugly "J" big and red and bleeding. Wiping clean the drops with your long white fingers and mingling our blood on my chest.
Asleep
Your eyes fall into the steady rhytm of dreams,
Thoughts of us having white babies
And going to church
And growing old
And being young
And being somebodies
I slip on my pants and boots
And step out of the trailer for a smoke
Looking at the moon
Looking at the light on in the neighbors bathroom
Looking at the bikes in the yards
Looking at the birds
And your name carved above my heart
Red
Torn
Flesh
You tore away my innocence
As I tore yours
We were children
And I had much to learn places to go and not too long away
Back when the drinking was fun and the needles were fun
Back when we were Sid and Nancy, back when I fell asleep inside you and mingled blood on my chest like some ritual of fate.
Back when we rode fast on the ******* Harley  next to the sea
And I picked you up at work
When I broke my hand on Jeremy jaw for slapping your ***
But now
I hate your name
And the scar on my chest
And the cigarette burns around it
And the faded blue tattoos
I love another now,
Someone gentle
Someone understanding
Someone with a real red beating heart
Someone who understands
That the world spins
And we are just two specks
Seperated
And clinging to the same earth

Hello poetry friends, great lexicon
Facebook friends, need English lesson

At 5 a.m time stopped moving
Hands came and pushed down my door
They dragged me out of bed
It felt automatic
Everything moving
And I'm only half-awake
It's strange how hands and guns and winter
Can take you by surprise
And when the wind starts blowing
Like a dying hound moaning
You feel hands upon your neck
All the friends I have
And all the family
But I only ever think of you
When I'm half-awake
And people start pulling
My body off the bed
Only thinking of you
Face down in the grass and dew
Handcuffs around my wrist

A cave crawls into me, turns inside out,
Captures my heart and saves my skin for last.
Slimy shadows spread like faith to doubt.
Is this the Jungian Shadow here to lambaste

While all the photons of the sun depart
As quickly as they come--an original sin--
And stop my thinking like Rene Descartes,
Affronting twistless logic like particle spin?

Now perceiving nothing it must exist,
Like Freud with OCD made Oedipus blind--
Becoming nothing nothing can resist.
Finally into earth my mind confined:

Create in me a ***** heart, o earth.
Perhaps a worm will have a ****** birth.