i want to dissolve into the walls of my mind

everybody has stopped listening and my ears are bleeding because all i do is listen

my eyes have been closed
all my life
and now that they are open
I can't seem to flutter them shut

I see them everywhere now
in the shops
at school
in the reflective glass, I use when getting dressed

it's an infestation

everyone is selfish

I cannot erase the
epiphany now
it's glued to my skull

every one of them more ghoulish than the last
each carrying a heavier bag

i often wonder if my bag
yields enough weight to be part of the club

Subconsciously preparing for the end.

I'm my own self destruct button

It's always terrible talking to a stranger.
You realise that they say the things people around you are thinking.

You see how your close ones have carved a tone especially for you.
One, a stranger does not use.

It's always scary conversing with a stranger.
It's like sprinkling salt on an open wound.
Raw. Real. And undeniably painful.

I've stopped caring.


Does that make me selfish?