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Jacob Jun 2014
I'm so scared of these strings
These strings that you put on me
My life was running smoothly
Your voice sounded soothing
But you never came
No You never came
I
I don't want to live
Live Without you
I can't live without
I can't live without
Without seeing
That smile
I can't breathe right now
I can't breathe right now
You took it away
Jacob Mar 2014
I met you once
Once,  one night
You changed thoughts inside my head
And I wished that night we could have
Layed in the bed
And talked a lot
Talked a lot
Of things we wished we would have said
You took away all the bad thoughts
Regardless what happens from now
Till then
Just know you were a present
not a mistake
Everything I said were all the things I
Meant
Jacob Mar 2014
Something to look forward to.
Someone to see my happiness glisten in her eyes. Someone to hold.
Someone to carry.
Someone to lift their life when their head is heavy. Someone to mend my wounds
and someone to set me free from my demons
and back towards the truth.
She was someone I sought to have
and someone I sought to love.
But now I lay in a bathtub
Drowning in my self inflicted blood.
Jacob Mar 2014
I woke up one day
In a sudden haze
To realize I stepped back into reality
But the fog had not cleared
From my fragile mind
My dream that I had
Is what I want this time
Then I slept 5 days in a row
To lay down in bed
Processing the same dream
Over and over again
It was the most beautiful thing
A bittersweet fantasy
To dream of lying with you
Was enough to keep my sanity
Jacob Feb 2014
"Now get down on your knees on the tracks where you shamed me.
But this time, the dodge ain't going to end so pretty.
Either a bullet or that train steaming just ahead is going to end your days.
You coward little kid."
You sit and you stir, while he waits for his death.
You'll never forgive him, and you never did forget.
He'll never see the sun again.
Make him pay off his debt.
Stand on those tracks, cold steel under your feet, barrel to his temple.
"Your addict mother, you will soon re-meet," you whisper in his ear,
Feel his whole body shake.
In an instant he's got your arm,
He's got your gun, you're held down by his weight.
You feel the cold steel above and below.
You feel your stomach tie in knots as the train whistle blows.
You feel the warm of the blood where the barrel digs in.
From your cheek to your mouth, you taste the sweat and the tin.

You don't cry, you don't beg.
You've been waiting for this.
For the coward, or for death, just to see your wife again.
That train is so close, so loud and so clear.
Your hands stop shaking and it's all that you hear.
Just like father.
"You took him. If this is how it's going to be then I would rather die at the hands of my own family."
Jacob Feb 2014
Ive known you for such a short time
not for years
but one at that
the day I met you
I looked at you for less than a second
before I formed this insane impression
you're another one of those.....
but I was wrong
you're sweet
you're funny
you're genuine
you're beautiful
you're charming
i've been as close as I could get to you
physically and mentally
the day I got to just lay with you
was a day to remember
it took away all my pain
and focused it into something so much better
I can rant about how you're my dream girl
but your not
your real..
Jacob Feb 2014
Ive been through hell and back
from start to end
its been three years of endless pain
not physically
but still the same
the fact that you came into my life
without a word to say
you somehow someway
took that pain away
and showed me the way
this could all be in my head
or I could just be insane
I could be falling for you
or complete just losing
but I know that if we were to try
things could work out
or we could crash
burn
and all begin to rot out
but thats a risk I am willing to take
to see if what It could be
could be great...
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