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244 · May 2015
For Three!
JDK May 2015
The madness that started in March
is traveling into May.
I didn't even watch a single basketball game.
Been rotating my fists ever since.
243 · Jul 2016
Lifted
JDK Jul 2016
Won big to lose bigger and now the whole thing's a forfeit.
The ones who were in the back are all moving to the forefront,
and the worst bit is that I don't give a ****.
Not even a little.
In fact, I'm glad to be rid of it.
Are you not convinced?
241 · Jul 2017
With My Big Headphones On
JDK Jul 2017
I raked, trimmed, and mowed this yard today.

I can dance through it if I want to.
Happy birthday America
239 · May 2014
You and Me
JDK May 2014
I speak in metaphors,
but I feel like I've met you before.
You were what was hiding on the otherside of my door.
You were the canopy at the top of the trees;
Basking in the moonlight.
I tried to climb but I fell on the way up.
You were the branches that broke my fall.
You were the leaves in autumn;
How I tried to catch them all.
You were the one that held me tight.
You were the clouds that cloaked the moon in the middle of the night.
You were all the things that I struggled to see.
You are everything that I want to be.
239 · Apr 2017
Wake Up And Smell The Roses
JDK Apr 2017
Only to realize that the roses smell like bile,
because some ******* threw up all over your garden while he was black-out drunk.
Two days later,
you connect the dots and realize that ******* is you.
*******.
238 · Aug 2017
The Strongest Part
JDK Aug 2017
A hand reaching out.
A hand that belongs to someone you love.

I can't.

Offered in apology.
In a sincere heartfelt bid for forgiveness.

I can't.

A hand that every part of you wants to grab and hang on to forever.
For life.
For the night.
For just a moment.

A hand reaching out.
A hand you know so well.
A hand that belongs to someone you've loved.

I won't.

That every part of you wants to reach out and grab,
save one.
238 · Dec 2017
Swimmer
JDK Dec 2017
The feelings begin to warm.
The son has left without warning.
The night stretches out in a black blanket of unknowns.

The feelings heat up.
The hair on the back of necks bristles.
The midnight hour has come and gone like a missile.

The feelings are boiling.
The oceans are churning.
The ships have all set sail straight into the eye of the storm.

The feelings simmer.
The son has returned.
A new day is breaking.

All feeling has burned.
A cooking tutorial . . .
237 · Nov 2014
Which Kind Are You?
JDK Nov 2014
I get drunk, then I get weird.
It's kind of what I do.
Sometimes,
I'm weird when I'm sober too,
but only around those who never do.
Get drunk, is what I mean.
I deal with them best when I'm hungover;
Half-awake and half-asleep.
Maybe it'll be easier when I'm older. It's true:
I'm filled with doubt and dreams,
and hung up on memories that I can't keep,
but that's nothing new.
Sympathy is when you feel for someone you can't relate to.
Empathy is when you feel for someone just like you.
237 · May 2014
Her Song
JDK May 2014
I heard her laughter through a wall made up of space and time.
I swear there's something in her voice that reminds me so much of mine.
If I tell you a joke will you do me the service of granting me a smile?
It's nice to be reminded of my lost innocence once in awhile.
I'll force rhymes and recycle lines just to get a rise.
I'll speak absurd profundities to spark a twinkle in those eyes.
Her glad and simple laughter makes me want to cry.
When I'm in her presence, I feel like I could die.
You simple, silly girl.
You clever, brilliant thing.
You make me feel alive again.
You make me want to sing.
Stuck in my head
236 · Dec 2024
Odious
JDK Dec 2024
This one is better.
That one is worse.
Constantly measured.
What are they worth?

Gauging the other;
bonds can be severed, tooled and re-worked.

Stats can be padded, embellished and torqued.

Doomed from the start,
or gifted at birth?

Crimes can be trifled, hidden, obscured.

Nothing is certain, but one thing is sure:
Romance is dead, and couples are cursed.
Good luck
236 · Jul 2014
Echo
JDK Jul 2014
Trees melted in the sun
and I realized that you are not the one to save me.
Nothing ever said or done will be enough to erase what I felt
while the earth surged up inside.
Thirty-six hours never felt so long.
I lived and died so many times.
I never knew I loved this song
until I heard you sing it.
A constant ring inside my head.
My crime now is to bring it back.
Cut off but don't leave any slack.
I swear my middle self was dead.
Your outer brought me back to life.
I hadn't felt it in so long.
I didn't think I'd ever hear it again.
JDK Apr 2015
Aw ****,
I'm gonna get fired for being drunk.
I hate ****.
JDK Dec 2020
Despite all the shade I throw at my family,
truth is,
they're alright.
I often find myself wishing they were more, you know, financially responsible, attuned to social customs, better hosts, etc.
But at the end of the day, it all comes together in such a way that makes me feel okay with life, and that is worth so much more than any of that other *******.
235 · Jan 2015
Gray
JDK Jan 2015
On the back of my heels.
Things are starting to feel unreal again.
Exit in sight, but my feet are on the edge of quicksand.
I've got plans of running away.

She's been feeling alone.
I'm sitting too close to the fire.
I'm wary of hell in her eyes.
Can't take the heat.
***** that desire.
I cannot stay.

Sounds are getting too loud.
Colors are becoming too vivid.
It's all too bright.
I don't want this life.
Escape to a place where everything's black and white.
Because it's easier this way
235 · Mar 29
Hidden Talent
JDK Mar 29
"Here, let me see . . . "
she takes it out of my hand,
grips around the base, twists and pulls.
I stare, confused; more curious than alarmed.
Finally, she clasps it closed and holds it up in triumph.
"It's so tight," I said,
admiring the umbrella as she hands it back to me.
"Yes. It's a hidden talent of mine."
234 · Jun 2015
M.O.T.M. Club: Some People
JDK Jun 2015
People, you know?
Some people are young and some people are old.
Some people are strong and some people are weak.
Some people need to be told what to think,
while others prefer to find out on their own.
People can be black, white, red, brown, or gold -
and we're not just talking about skin tone!
We've sort of got a love/hate thing going on when it comes to people,
but we happen to like you.
You're one of the good ones. We can tell.
Anyway, you know what they say, (who is this they?)
"Different strokes for different folks."
We think people should do whatever tickles them pink,
just so long as listening to this CD is one of those things.
This was in the letter sent with this month's mix. I'll bet you can't guess what the songs are about!
234 · Jun 2014
Thawed
JDK Jun 2014
Everything I've ever told you about me has been a warning.
I tried to cool down your warmth.
Please don't smile at me again.
I can't make you understand how much it's worth.

Everything I feel about you is way too intense.
I want to explain it,
but it doesn't make any sense.

Anything you say gets repeated infinitely
to leave me swimming in a pool of memories,
but my arms are tired and now I'm drowning.
The thought of you takes the breath out of me.

I'm caving in underneath the weight of what it means.
These are the kinds of things I've tried to stop myself from feeling.

Everything I've ever said to you has been a warning.
Every single one of them has gone ignored.
Please don't smile at me again.
I can't handle loving you any more.
234 · Jun 2014
Hell
JDK Jun 2014
I'll swim after writing half an essay about my favorite philosopher.
I'll swim again and think of her.

I'll drown after agreeing to go out tomorrow night.
I'm not looking forward to being brought back to life.
I'll drown again and think of her.

I'll burn after I turn out the lights.
I can't sleep when my head isn't right.
I toss and turn and again, I burn.
All the while I think of her.

I'll melt as the dreams come on too fast
with desires of the one I cannot have.
Into a boiling ***,
I am thrown and stirred.
I'll melt again while I dream of her.
JDK May 2017
Made a big splash by playing their out-of-tune upright in the spare bedroom,
with the kids all gathered around.

I can't play any songs that you might know,
but I can make this thing sing if I really wanted to.

"You should make soundtracks for movies or something,"
says an impressed parent.

Meanwhile I'm thinking:
*If this was my way of making a living,
it'd ruin all the fun.
"This one's about my late grandma . . . "
"This one's about a girl I loved so much that I couldn't stand her . . . "
"This one's about . . . aw hell I don't know;
I'm just making this **** up as I go."
JDK Jun 2017
I never really got to know you before building you up into an emotional vortex.

I could argue that you ****** away the best parts of me,
but we'd both know that I was really just looking for an excuse to shed excess weight.

I tried a trick that I half-remembered learning during that short eternity when I lost my mind.

It worked.
We were both surprised.
On second thought, don't.
Please don't.
231 · Jan 2015
Finally Begin
JDK Jan 2015
I've got to drown one last time before I can swim.
Sink down into the whirlpool and pass through the eye.
Feel those winds on my face under a stormy sky.
Curse the gods with a dizzy head while clinging to life.
See it flash before me in all its bliss, pain, and strife.

Just one more time.
One. More. Time.

Before I can come out clean and dry on the other side,
to finally leave that maelstrom behind
for good.
I feel like I've written this before
231 · Jun 2018
Wordplay (You Used To)
JDK Jun 2018
You used to play with words.
You used to dance to the sounds they'd make as they wound their way through the cogs in your brain.

You used to savor the way a juicy one would linger on the tip of your tongue,
while surrendering to the pleasure of a proper pronunciation.

You used to wear your words
as a fashion statement,
the scope and shape of the connotations beneath only ever subtly hinted at;
An enticing invitation to think.

You used to play with your words.
You turned it into an art.
But now you only use them to get something you want.
229 · Apr 2014
Favorite
JDK Apr 2014
When I was six I ate a fish that tasted like my future,
and presently I'm telling her that things are starting to feel unreal again.
"Shhhhhh.
Rest your twisted head."
I said she gave me this wicked vessel,
and that I hate her for it.
She said,
"I know darling.
That's why you're my favorite."
229 · Oct 2014
Y. A. F. T. G. F. M.
JDK Oct 2014
It was just a fantasy.
Faded now, but even then,
I haven't grown up yet.
Still a kid playing make pretend.

In reality, I'm afraid to be your friend.
I've a pristine image of you in my head.
All glossy glow in a coat of varnish.
I'd hate to see that halo tarnished.

Angel, don't you understand?
I'm not fit to be your man.
I know you've got one and I'm not him.
Jealousy is such a deadly sin.

Heard it said many times from lovely lips.
Karma has gone and flipped the script.
Finally forced to admit a phrase wrought in irony:
You Are Far Too Good For Me.
We both know it
228 · Jul 2024
Heap
JDK Jul 2024
Blue marble,
lifeless eye.
Rotten cherry scented earth.

Nuisances poking up,
being pulled out -
composted for new dirt.

Don't you go getting sedimental on me.
Grains of insignificance ingratiating themselves in want of new life.

Rotten blueberry orb.
Fermented fungal stink.
A world in full decay.
Eyes that cannot blink.
228 · Jan 2015
Like a Mirror
JDK Jan 2015
I want to have grace, like she did.
I want to have patience like this one.
The most intelligent friend of mine once told me:
You're like some sort of chameleon.

I want to have skills like his.
I wish I could play guitar.
I want to have money, like their parents.
I'd like a reliable car.

The most psychotic friend of mine once told me:
Art is truth in disguise.
I want to be bold, like she is.
I want to reflect the fire in her eyes.

So I'll go and change colors again
into a new skin that matches the times.

I want to be beautiful,
like the one who'll never be mine.
I wish I could sing like she does.
I wish I could blow her mind.

I want to vibrate with vibrant energy.
I want to echo sounds that fill my soul,
like how the most reckless friend of mine once told me:
I'll die before I grow old.

I want to combine of all these things to make a new mold,
and reform myself from its grooves.
I want to shine like a statue made of gold,
with tinges that reflect the best from all of you.
228 · Nov 2014
Do You Get It?
JDK Nov 2014
Got it.
Don't you get it?
I'm gonna overthink it,
but I've got to keep it going
while the getting is hot.

Got the feeling she don't know it.
Now I've gotta show it.
She gets the underlining meaning of everything that I have thought.

Fought through thirty memories I swear I had forgot.
She gets it and she gets me
and now these feelings just won't stop.

In her eyes I'm not reflected as anything that I am not.
Got a funny feeling that she's stealing all these lines straight from the heart.

We gave it all to be forgotten by the ones we chose to love,
but I got you and you got me:
Together,
we'll rise above.
Nobody gets me but you
228 · Feb 2018
From A Distance
JDK Feb 2018
All the things you think you want
hang precariously from string.

Pretty, precious, fragile things.

Reach out to grab one and they all fall to pieces.
Alternate title: Edward Scissorhands
JDK May 2015
Read a short story today
about a guy who has a dream
that he's writing a poem.

Took a nap when I got home.
Had a dream about writing a poem.

Woke up and wrote it.
This isn't it.
227 · May 2015
Missed Stake
JDK May 2015
Regret is a vampire,
and Guilt is supposed to be a thing of the past.
I thought I killed it already,
but it just keeps coming back.
Aim for the heart
226 · May 2015
I've Got Something to Say
JDK May 2015
And I'm going to say it -
real soon.
Just give me a moment.
Give me a momentary stretch of time to collect myself.
You know,
to clear my mind,
so that I may let this thing that I want to say come to the surface;
unobstructed. Without any need for fancy presentation or forced rhyme.
Just give me a second. Okay, I think I'm ready.
Here goes nothing:

*Something.
I feel better.
225 · Jun 2014
Odd Anthem
JDK Jun 2014
It may sound strange to you,
but this is what we do.
After dealing with ******* all day long
we come here to tell the truth.

You may not understand why,
but this is how we get by,
and it may not make much sense,
but it makes us feel alive.

You may think it's all we know,
but this is how we grow.
Go and shove your "normal"
To us, you're the ******.
Drawing lines
JDK Jun 2017
So this is what it's like to be alone.
It's not so bad, really,
but I can see how it could get old after awhile.
Just looking forward to the long weekend.
225 · Jul 2015
I Want To Be A Screenwriter
JDK Jul 2015
To think about the same things in a different way.
(To think is to play with meaning.)
And to be struck with a heaviness that makes me sink through the ground,
only to find that there's nothing but air underneath.
Gaps between layers of earth.
I can dig down to another one.
I can run on the surface of one ad infinitum.
Or I could float.
I can fly between two then push off with both legs from the bottom of one to burst through the top of another.
I can clench both fists full of dirt along the way to spread them spinning around me in the empty gap above.
I can watch it all bloom,
surrounded by beauty,
and feel filled up with love.
I wanted to write something tonight.
I wanted to write something metaphysical and transcendental,
but I didn't want to feel the pressure of the task of it.
I didn't want to fret about how to end it.
I just wanted to reflect beauty that I'd witnessed today.
I wanted to feel free for a moment.
I wanted to play.
225 · May 2014
Friend
JDK May 2014
There are so many things that I want to say to you that I shouldn't.
There are even more things that I should say to you that I wouldn't.
You remind me of somebody that I used to know.
One who let me break their heart then broke mine in revenge.
I'm scared that I might do it again if you ever give me the chance.
It's why I keep my distance.
It's why I hold my silence.
I've always had trouble with letting things go.
It just means so much to me -
every word you say.
I've always been afraid of letting people in.
I'll exhaust every effort in pushing you away.
Really all I want is to be held in your embrace.
224 · Mar 2022
Complete Bullshit
JDK Mar 2022
It's as if everything that happens only matters if
you can somehow manage to incorporate it into this
Over-arching narrative
that's meant to be your life.

So that when, and if,
you're hard-pressed to explain it to someone,
you have these convenient bullet points to hit.

"So then that happened, and it was traumatic, so then I did this to deal with it,"

And the scary part is
when you stop caring to weave it all in together, when apathy sets in,
and the actions and events just stay random nonsense.

Just chaos.

And I know there are those who don't struggle with this.
Where everything that happens to them automatically gets justified into this narrative of who they are, and what this is, and they're surrounded by people to explain it all with.

But I am not one of those.

And I can only ever make sense of it after the fact.
Put it into context,
after time has passed.

And I can only ever do it alone.
And you know it
224 · Jun 2015
Overdozed
JDK Jun 2015
The sickening sinking feeling that comes with sleep still persists.
Is this what dying feels like?
I know bliss is fleeting, but it cuts deep,
and gives me a reason to continue to exist.
Wake up.
224 · May 2015
I Swear
JDK May 2015
She was crying when I got there,
and throwing up when I left.
I hate seeing her like that.
She's always been the strong one.
Well, the second strongest,
anyway.

I practiced guitar and played my keyboard,
and played burn ball with my brother and his (sort of) son,
but I still feel like I did nothing productive today.

My friends were drinking and I brought a bottle.
Beer wasn't going to cut it-
just sayin'
Gave a ride home to the kid who drove me to Tim's.
I didn't bring up the irony of the situation.
Brought Wayne home soon after.
If M.A.D.D. ever got word of me,
I swear, it'd be a disaster.

I killed a turtle yesterday,
on the way home from the hospital.
I didn't mean to.
Thought it was a piece of trash.
Placed it between my two front wheels.
Too tall for his own good.
When it hit, I swear,
I almost had a heart attack.
Went back to see if he'd survived.
An upside-down and ****** broken shell was all I found.
I'm a horrible person.
I swear, the worst.
Kicked him off the road so he wouldn't get run over anymore.
But I'm pretty sure he was already dead.
He was dead, for sure.
**** everything;
I don't care anymore.

So much for breakfast.
Tim locked us out.
I'm half-shocked that I didn't get violent.
I thought that I might get violent.

I love my friends.
I love my sister.
I love that turtle too,
even though I killed it.
And now I'm crying cause I'm drunk and stupid.
223 · Aug 2017
Not Interested
JDK Aug 2017
Not curious.
Not even a little bit.
I won't spend the rest of the night thinking about it,
or wondering, "what if?"

What if I'd said this instead?
What if I'd acted differently?
What combination of behavoirs would've lead you into bed with me?

These are not the thoughts that will go through my head.

Not even close.
223 · May 2015
Remember
JDK May 2015
Memories are moments in past tense.
Make some.
223 · Jun 2015
Tilt The World
JDK Jun 2015
His head spun so fast that he kept forgetting where he was;
Laughing as his cart flew off the tracks to crash-land in a graveyard of carnival ghosts.

"I've lost my way," said the sea gull.
"Can you please direct me to the coast?"


His eyes rolled so fast that he lost sight of himself;
smashing the magazine rack into the bookshelf
which sent every never-read novel straight into the trash.

"I'm lost," said the runaway.
"Won't you help me to get back?"


His arms flailed so fast that he sent the silver-surfaced sphere soaring past multicolored circles to crash through multiple ***** resulting in flashes of blue, red, and green to play across the shadows of his face.
In a frenzy, he shook the machine and caused a tilt.

*"I've lost," said the mason.
"Everything I've ever built."
223 · May 2015
Infected With Insanity
JDK May 2015
But what does that even mean?
Caught up in definitions
and playing with the meaning of things.
Life seems so real, in fact;
it's like a lucid dream.
The way we deal with that is at the core of all our being.
B Major
222 · May 2015
See Monkeys
JDK May 2015
If you let them,
they will try to keep you here.
In this sea where you've learned to swim,
but the water is thick.
Just treading it
is exhausting.
Stuck in muck.
JDK Oct 2017
In five more minutes the gas station will be open.
I once tried to live and love;
It didn't turn out so good
217 · Sep 2014
We Exist
JDK Sep 2014
To the bright shiny people with a radiant glow,
I'd say this one's for you,
but you already know.
And so, this is for the others:
The battered and bruised.
The broken in shambles;
distraught and abused.
Those who think that they make no difference.
I'm here to acknowledge your existence.
This one is for you.

The world can be cruel -
known to deal a bad hand,
but you've still got to bet,
and play the best that you can.
It's better than just sitting at the table
as a cynical, do-nothing, always complaining and then
criticizing those who take part in the action.

You hate others because you hate yourself.
You're hopeless because they've got you convinced that you're living in hell.
"I can't do anything right," says the self-loathing pessimist.
You can't change the facts that make up your past,
but the fact is that you can always change your future.
There's hope for you yet.
No longer will you deny your own happiness.
You deserve it simply because you exist.

Did we not all squirm and twist our way to the ****
to get there first so we could worm our way in?
Naturally,
no one remembers any of this,
but it had to have happened because otherwise
we would not exist.
Not as we are now -
not how we've always been -
so I say raise your fist in celebration of that initial victory.

Even if you haven't won one since.
Even if you feel bogged down by misery,
it only means that you've let yourself temporarily forget that it's miracle at all that you even exist.
You're a part of it all just because you are there.
So I ask of the forgetful,
the indifferent,
the scared.
How can you not see the beauty?
How can you not care?
JDK Apr 2017
In a pinch, the picnic table can double as a shelter.
Nevermind the would-be athletes vaulting over it.
The lyrics of our song are carved underneath.
Sometimes, late at night,
I stand on top and remember how to breathe.
JDK May 2015
This road looks like a picture
that I took before my time.
It sticks with me like déjà vu,
but I'm about to drive.
Get out of my way.
I'm hungry.
212 · Mar 2022
Penny Pincher
JDK Mar 2022
He tears petals off flowers with a limp wrist,
hoping one day he'll hope for something more than just another tryst.
But his hope, like his desire, is lethargic.

He wastes no pennies on a wish.

He's convinced a seed was sown long ago,
when he let a stray emotion get the better of him.
But he's never let the water touch the soil since,
for fear of what would grow.

He resists having to tend a garden born from a whim.

Just a snake wearing a farmer's skin.
Too distracted by his own hiss to hear the promise of kisses.
He pinches his pennies with off-green thumbs held close to his chest,
and he wastes none on wishes.
The loathed lothario knows best.
211 · Nov 2017
For Old Time's Sake
JDK Nov 2017
Is it ever any wonder that I should wind up back here?
The bittersweet nostalgia and the taste of old tears are just a reminder of what I've lost over the years.

I could argue that it's a good thing.

The best intangible stuff best left behind.
But I'm reminded of what I forgot.

But then I remember why I forgot it.
JDK Jul 2018
People are so angry these days. Angrier than they've ever been.
Let's not get into the reasons why, but rather, work on finding a solution.
Perhaps that's too ambitious. Maybe settle for some simple anger management instead. A healthier alternative outlet for all that anger would do wonders for our collective interpersonal communications.

What you might try is yelling at objects.

Why objects? (You might be asking . . . )
Well, because the last thing we need is more yelling at each other.
There's more than enough of that going on already,
and yelling at animals would just be plain cruel.
They put up with enough of our **** without adding in random unsolicited rants to the mix.

And definitely not plants or trees. (I mean, that's obvious.)
Everyone knows that they're vengeful and hateful things,
and hold grudges that last longer than most lifetimes.

This leaves inanimate objects, which are fantastic candidates for the receipt of the worst of our wrath. Traffic lights, for instance, make a great target. Go ahead and feel free to dive in the next time you're forced to stop at a red light. Yell at it for not staying yellow long enough for you to make it through. Yell it at for making you sit and risk being late to whatever important destination it is that you're going to. Yell at it for being the whoreson ******* three-eyed ******* that it is. Curse its stupid ******* face and its whole ****** family of stupid-faced ******* ******* *******. By the time it turns green, I'll guarantee that you'll feel much better.

What if I'm angry at home? (You might be asking.)
Well, there are plenty of objects to choose from there, though I find it's best to have an added incentive to already be mad at a thing.
For this reason, you might find it helpful to keep a few faulty kitchen appliances around. It doesn't have to be anything major. A coffee maker with a cracked carafe, for instance, or a microwave that never fails to burn the bag of popcorn. Feel free to not hold back on these things. Threaten to smash the worthless ******* to pieces, then to light those pieces on fire in the backyard and **** on their ashes. (Do refrain from actually acting on these threats however, lest your neighbors think you've finally lost it.) Simply making the threats alone should grant you some relief.  

What if I'm too tired of being angry all of the time to get out of bed? (You might be asking.)
Well, there's the alarm clock right there within arm's reach. It's such a cheap and fragile little thing. I think it'd be forgivable to actually go right on ahead and send the thing sailing across the room. If your alarm clock has already been smashed then you could attack the lamp, or whatever random knick-knacks might be lying on the bedstand. Though it would require standing up, tearing down the ceiling fan is also a viable option.
I'd hold back from laying into your bed though, lest all that hateful energy gets retained in the sheets.
The last thing you'd need after a long day of venting anger at everything around you would be to dream of evil trees finally getting their revenge. Trust me.
Lol u mad bro?
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