I am a fool
A tool
A rave roaring menace

A sinner
A devil
And I beg for no penance

Relief is to me
What work is to you
And so in this life
I'll live like a fool

In truth a man tries to be what he can
But deep down he thinks,
"I'd rather be what I am."

Understand this land
Of mountains and quick sand
Where one can rise to the top
Or sink through to the bottom

In autumn I see an array of leaves
Who wish in some sense to be more like me
Changing different colors before they die
Then lying down
Onto the ground
To make all fertilized

I try
I do
To be more like you
Until my heart goes dry
And my energy's used
Left dying and withering to form a pile of ash
Every missed opportunity,
You can't get back.

Like trash we pile
In a hurricane's eye
And our biggest denial
Is that we don't lie
Or that we don't mind
Or have no time
To give to someone else what I know to be mine.

Exhausted
I have done to myself
a beating worth giving to somebody else
Someone I used to know. . .

Inducted
Unceremoniously but proper
Into a world pushed out of a stopper

Oh, how I used to know
the shine of your skin in a moonlit glow
the pause of your chest after taking in breath
Awaiting the exquisite,
Inexorable,
Exhale

Where I too would exude from your abysmally beautiful depths
to fall gracelessly down frosted wrought iron steps
to land in a mangled heap of electrified fear
Wishing frantically
that your faraway ears may hear
the call of my heavy falling tears.

For years
Four years
the end had loomed near
but I pushed it away
Awaiting the day
When I would exhaust all the words I had left to say

It never came
It never does
So what you're left with ought to be enough
but if it's not
then stop right then
Quit right there
You can't hold it in
Breathe out your tainted air

I've walked down that dark street before
Went up that drive-way and knocked on the door
When the house stirred, I let out a sigh
Ran away and forgot to hide

Wrote my name upon a wall
But the name was false, and the wall was small
Called out loud to the starlit sky
But no one heard my desperate cry

Fell inside and broke my heart
Then couldn't find the missing parts
Filled my glass at dawn and dusk
But we were far from giving up

A restless soul on sleepless nights
Took to words by candle light

There is no place in here to hide
So if you are me,
then who am I?

A Saint, a Sinner, a Child, a Lie.
A Cynic, a Critic, a regular guy.
A man with an idea that refuses to die,
but with a memory that fades
along with life.

I took the road less traveled by
Broke my heart then remembered to cry,
Thinking to myself
All the while:

I've

never

felt

so

Alive!