She looks at me and asks if it's true
What will hurt more, I think in a panic
The Lies to continue to comfort her
or the cold, hard truth?

What must I do?
What can I say?
I don't ******* know

She's still looking at me, with those big, sad eyes
I'm meant to protect her from all this
but I don't know how to anymore, and maybe, in the back of my mind,
I was hurting too and needed a comrade to help me through
no...I can't bear to think about that for too long
So, in a moment of blind faith that it will all be OK
I tell her the truth, the core of the problem
and as I watch her face crumple
her beautiful face which is now plagued by the hurt
Her eyes spill over and her mouth makes the perfect shape of an 'o'
It smells a little like rain, but it's only her tears
I have to ask myself if it was the right decision
but I cannot reach a conclusion
when I see my baby sister
take the world on her shoulders
and knowing I put it there.

I want you to know that I had no right to judge your scars by their size
Nobody has the right to decide how
d
e
e
p
is deep enough to be real
nobody can put an amount on how much blood is enough to prove your worth
because if you are so full of raw emotion inside
and breaking your skin is the only way to let it all out
then the evidence becomes entirely peripheral
and I need to remember that a scar, no matter what measure,
is a scar all the same
and is the tip of something much bigger
the external size
doesn't matter

When are you coming back?
By all means you're here, and 'aren't we lucky'
that you survived the fall
Technically, physically you're here
lying in front of me with your eyes closed and your fists unclenched
You look peaceful, like yourself, for the first time in a long time

But a long time isn't forever, and so I know you were here once  
Wasn't I enough to keep you going?
Even if I'm not your whole world
was I not a big enough portion
to make you see that there are people who love you
and reasons to stay?
But you still left

You left with all your kindness and soul
It's like you packed up everything that made you real
Your smiles and tears
Anxieties and ambitions
love and laughter
and just...
left.

You left behind this robot in your place
It didn't care about me
Or consequences
It didn't appreciate life
and tried to throw everything away

Please come back and claim what's  yours
Please tell me you love me
and loose the lifeless look in your eyes

Maybe then I'll tell you what it was like when you were gone
And maybe then you won't go again
I'll tell you everything
Like the time I asked you if you loved me and waited for a reply
and waited for a very long time
I'll tell you about the monster that you became
And maybe you won't let it in again
But first  YOU  have to come back!

Dad, I don't know who is after you, or what they did to your humanity
But I'm scared because they're after me too.
They enter our minds and steal our hearts
When you were gone they were the only thing left in your place
And I was scared

I'm scared now, for you and me
Which is why I'm repeating myself so desperately

Dad...Please come back.

Well, Darling

I guess this is it.
Here we are, with an expanse of history and an uncertain future
I can't imagine what you must be thinking
Of course, there was a time when I knew
Once upon a time I knew every thought you had before you did
I knew every emotion by the subtle, almost invisible, flashes on your face
I knew your face, so beautiful and in love
I could make you smile just by smiling at you
and, Darling, how I loved that smile
I loved the smile and the way it lit you up
You're whole body, waking up in anticipation for life
I knew every curve and edge of you
and I loved you
So much that it became my biggest weakness.
There was love, and I can't forget it
Even though, Darling, there isn't any love now.

You let me in once, and we were vulnerable to each other.
But it only made us stronger
Darling, we only broke when you closed the door

So I don't know what you're thinking, and I'm about to walk away
I won't hurt you any longer
But I won't pretend to forget
Because Darling, you and I both know
There was love once
Until we both let go