Jenna B

Jenna B Oct 2013

I love you, but it sounds so primitive to say.
Because it's so much more than that.
I don't love you just for you, I adore your aura and your vitality
I want to melt into you whenever I see you
You make me happy, but at the same time my heart is breaking.
I want to ask you to stop the hurt
but I can't.

I want to live in your head,
and be the love in your life
I want to know what you are thinking.
So I can learn all your dynamics
I want to have a comfortable, boring human interaction with you
because even that would make my world explode

But I Can't.

I can't wait to be closer to you
and I can't wait to know more about you
but I don't want to make it obvious
I don't want you to know

YOU CAN'T EVER KNOW

We're the same,
you and I,
me and you

I don't know what's happening, and I don't think you would either
So I won't say anything
I won't act on the fireworks on my skin when I see you
I will keep quiet and stay away
nonchalant and cold, even though my blood is roaring
I won't try to get closer to you, to try and understand you
At least not until I understand
myself
And what this is.

Jenna B Oct 2013

The Lies

The Lies were better
The gossip was sweeter
I'm slamming my fists against his chest
I never appreciated the effort all that pretense took
I didn't see how much simpler it was
Not to know

I don't want to know

When the rumors began to unravel
I was the one who tore them apart
It was as sadistic as ripping a flowers' petals away
to see inside
I saw all I needed to see and more
I saw it all before my time
I couldn't stop the Lies from falling at my feet
I tried to patch them together again, gently,
but they fell apart
and unraveled
some more.

Now I will always know
And I will always remember how the Lies
crashed into my mind
Like the rough waves of the sea
that leaves violent indentations on the sand before they leave again
silently

I never really knew him
Until the Lies began to unravel
I heard the rumors and he fell a little further
When I put my face to close to the fire
I was hungry for answers, but I didn't know
That I don't want to know
and they
burnt his memory ever so slightly
Then the truth escaped
and he was set on fire.

The night was better
The Lies were easier
living in darkness makes it easy to put out the flames
Living in this daylight is too bright, too real.
I loved the subtle distortions
but now they've become ugly truths

— The End —