you showed me where we came from

the dirt in all of its glory

in the end, you said, we all have the same old story

from the dirt, we come from

to the dirt, we go

such a thought did grieve me so

you took my hand

not letting go
"what is dirt but where one grows

not only where we always go"

you kissed me then

and you were gone

the dirt is where you now belong

yes, i grieve you,
and wait anxiously for dirt to grant me its *****, holy access

meanwhile, I will take some seeds

and
grow flowers in your absence

what difference would it have made,

if you had gone or if you had stayed


you wrangled your way into my skin

and tightened at the core

it pains me, yes it does, this ungodly pain within,

yet I keep you inside, wanting more and more and more

this decadent, sweetening sin

As God asks us to sing as a part of his choir

It's no fun, there is no dancing required

I am no heathen, nor filled with nefarious intent

I simply prefer to dance to
the rhythms of the fire

I am so so broken.

I feel like I'm grieving everything every night.

I even grieve things that haven't even happened yet,

still, I know how this ends.

I die, or you die, we die, or they die

and what can you do?

I don't need to be made to feel better about this

I don't need to be made to be cheered up.

I need to be broken down and understood

that my grief is who I am

and it is all anyone ever ends up being

so instead of trying to fix it

can we just carry each other

and tell each other

that pain wouldn't be the same without you

I've been in a fog lately

and I'm scared that all of my friends hate me

I am more than what I decide to show you

I am more than all I had to go through

do not tell me you know who I am

when I have yet to figure it out for myself

I do not need a plan

much less any help

say that I am lost, it is true
and I am all that I have got

but better to know that I am lost

than to convince myself that I am not

you cannot stay here

the sun is waiting to rise

to gleam into your eyes

and steal you from the blue night

the burning in your heart

is yearning to be matched with the dawning of the day

wander into light

and leave me in the dark

it is okay to love

even if yesterday took so much from you already

it is my fault

I do not mean to leave

but the night had called me

and I could not say no

leave me in the night

allow yourself to shed the hardened skin

along with the tears

that will be dried by the sun in the morn'

life persists, of course, even after we go

though how life works

most have yet to know

it is not something studied

in books, lessons, or other

it is experienced

in the clouds
and in the gutter

this intrinsic desire to understand how life works

it is not something learned over under or through

it is only ever understood

when you accept that life

must first work you