My thoughts weigh heavy
My family is ill at ease
Can't just be happy


© Misty Bishop-Martiss

She smiles when she remembers
how he kissed her feet
Because of a misunderstanding


© Misty Bishop-Martiss

In Your Arms
When I’m With You

In your presence,
I am the person I want to be.

In your arms,
I am the **** girl you can’t take your eyes off of.

In your mind,
I am funny, and smart, and all of the things that are worthy.

In your arms,
I am safe,
I am welcome,
I am wanted,
I am cherished,
I am desired,
I am…


© Misty Bishop-Martiss

We Should Be
At a baseball game
Walking around our park
Sharing our favorite meal
Holding hands
Staring into each others eyes
Sharing stories
In bed, wrapped up in each other
Allowed to be together
Not afraid to be out in public
In the past where we were one.


© Misty Bishop-Martiss

I love oatmeal
And I love you
Oh shoot, did I just say that out loud?

I miss the summer monsoon's
And I miss your hands on my body
Crap, I hope you didn't hear that?

I want to win the lotto
Also, I want to be your wife
Man, how did that slip out!


© Misty Bishop-Martiss

I need to be in love with me if I want anyone else to be
I can't be one of those girls who only sees her worth through the eyes of others.

I must see the beauty in me that I want others to see.

There is a difference between thinking that
'I am too good for you' and thinking
that 'you're lucky to have me'
instead of me feeling lucky you that you love me.

I should also think that I am lucky to have you,
because so are awesome,
not because I don't deserve love.

I think that I am funny.
I think that I am attractive, cute if nothing else, but I am not ugly.
I think that I am smart, could be smarter, but definitely could be dumber.
Is that all there is? Funny, pretty and smart?
That can't be it, but that is all that I can think to quantify right now.


© Misty Bishop-Martiss

I Wonder

I wonder sometimes if others can see my flaws the way that I do?
People say I am good at what I do, and I think that I am, but I know that there are things that I could improve on, times that I drop the ball completely...
Do they not see those things, or are they nice enough to not point them out?
"Yeah, you are good at this, but you **** at this other thing... It all comes out in the wash"...

I wonder if you see the flaws in me that I see?
I wonder if you see other flaws in me that I do not see?
If so, are they really there?
Why can't I see them?
Maybe I choose not to?

I know no one is perfect, but can people, can you, see just how far my "not perfect" goes?

Am I harder on myself than other would be? Isn't everyone hardest on themselves? Is that because I am really not as bad as I think I am, or is it that I see things that are maybe not really there? Or, do others see things that are not really there?

It is hard to know what is the truth, when I do not let even the most important people all the way into my darkest places. I have told you many things about myself. I think that I have told you more than most about myself, even more than I have told her, about what is really going on in my mind, but I have not told you everything. Is that because I don't want to burden you with my baggage, or is it because I do not want to see you run away screaming? Maybe both. Yes, I think both.

There are things that I have told you, that I have not told her, because I know that you will hear me, where she will think that she hears me, and maybe she does hear me, in the best way she can, but you really hear me. We have both been through things that she will never understand, because she can't or because she won't. Which ever it is, the end result is the same, a spacial rift in the thing we call a relationship.

I didn't mean to get so heavy with this email, I think that I need a good night's sleep, I mean a REAL good nights sleep, in my bed (or yours) with no dang stupid barking dogs.. Ugh!

Yes, come to think of it, yours would be better. I feel safe with you. I feel calm, at peace, on vacation, medicated, and more comfortable in my own skin with you. So, it is settled... One solid night of sleep is what I need. Alas, I don't see that happening with you anytime soon, so I will have to settle for sleep in my Tardis bedroom, with no dogs, and maybe some nature sounds playing in the background... Maybe some medication to make sure I sleep. Do you come in pill form?

Once again, didn't mean to get to deep, Just wanted to share.

I hope that you are having a good week, so far, and that is stays good. Study hard, kick *** like I know you can and do...

Thank you for being you and for letting me be me

You truly are the best of friends


© Misty Bishop-Martiss