Today
Was one of those days
Where I couldn't
Stop looking
Over my shoulders
Expecting to see you
Close to me
Waiting for me to do something
To push you away like before
Freeze when you started to
Do what you did
I've let the paranoia
Sink in
Its been controlling me
Like you had been
I wasn't perfect...
That terrible feeling I had gotten the night of the storm
How I cried myself to sleep beside my best friend
Because that was the first time
The first red flag
I couldn't getaway
I tried so hard
But couldn't
And so I gave up
That's when the voices started to reappear
I hadn't heard them in two years
After I had stopped talking to you
And then...
I had that feeling
Once again...
And I couldn't stop you
But I never gave up
I pushed you away
I didn't speak
except for once or twice
I know I said no at least once
Or maybe I didn't
Because they took over to try
She wanted to protect me
So she did
After I was choked
She was the one who said something
When you did what you did
I couldn't stop her from telling them
She was so angry
Because it wasn't just me
That you hurt
So now
The paranoia has set in
And I'm so scared
Because you know
Where I live
Where I go on the weekends...
Who I hang out with...
But even though you can't touch me...
It still makes me
Paranoid

You know that feeling
You get when something bads
gonna happen?
Im crying right now
And I have no reason to be crying
But I am..
I want to scream
Punch something...
To my future wife
Im sorry..
You have to deal
with such
a stupid
broken person
Who keeps putting herself down...

I'm Happy I have
Most of you
In my life
My best friend
And my close friend
If I can call you that
If you can call me that
I want to be more
Maybe one day I can be
But I'm happy
That you guys are sticking around

You're innocent
Until proven
Guilty
Innocence
I'm not sure that I have that
Broken
I can try to pick the glass up
But ill only get
Cut
Love
One-sided till they leave
You can see the evil
But you can't understand why it happened
Why he hurt you
Why he didn't tell you
Why he said
He loved you
Just to leave you shattered
I wish you had gone to jail
Because then I wouldn't have to see you
Or hear her
Or watch you try to stare me down
They made me forget once
They can do it again
All I want
Is to forget
The good
The bad
The hateful
Things you put me through
I left because
I was scared
I knew that day
You would show up
You'd done it once before
and I kept my mouth shut
I wish I hadn't
I wish i had gotten anyone
But I didn't
I thought
I could trust you
And a few months later
What do you do?
You take it farther than before
It's not just pulling me close to you
It's kissing me and trying to force me to kiss you back
It's your cold lips on my neck
Making me want to scream
And cry
And all I can do
Is sit there
Trying to push you away
And I couldn't stop you
Till you said
That you never stopped loving me
And then I snapped out of it
I told you that
I couldn't
I was happy
Until that day
And I won't forget
Your name
Your face
Until they prove you guilty

I want you
To Love me
I'm not sure
Because you still
Love him
So right now
I'm just
A friend
Until you realize
That I want more than
Friendship
And you leave
Like the rest of them

I feel them when you come around
Forever and always
When you speak
I wish to hold your hand
To hold your heart in mine
Forever and always
You'll be
My butterfly

I'm Sorry
I know you don't like me
at least not like that
I haven't told you
Because I'm scared
That you will reject me
I mean why wouldn't you
I'm not the prettiest
And I can be so mean
Who would love a girl
Like me?

No matter how many times
I try to forget
Your Name
Your face
The things we used to talk about
The dreams for our future
The things you did
To suffocate
To hurt
To **** me
Little by little
I'm slowly
Trying
To fix
Myself
To fix the things
I hate about myself
Hate
About
You
Although
I wish you
The best
Because I did
Love you once

I wanna tell you
That you are so much more
Then what you think
You deserve so much better
Because all he did was cause pain
I'm not sure what I wanna do
But I know I wanna spend my time
On you
Even if you don't feel the same way
I'll still be here
When you need me the most
And that's never going to change
I'm going to make sure you'll be okay
Before I tell you that I might love you
Before I take you to neverland

Was I that stupid
That I couldn't find the clues
That I had no special length
I would go to try and fix it
That right now I'm crying
Because I keep self-destructing
Trying not to do harm to myself
Or someone else
It's hard
So hard
Not to hate something
You never loved
In the first place

Rose petals will fall
Wishes scattered
As new leafs start to grow
On the once bare trees
Cool winds
Pulling me
Into a soft echo
Of the former me
Saing goodbye
Is terribly hard
but so is loving someone
who won't move on

Rain can be good
It can also be bad at times
Like how I'm absolutely terrified
Of thunderstorms
Like how I'm scared to drown
I used to love playing in the rain
I love watching it from my window
Because rain is beautiful storms
Are scary and love is….
Both

Little voices
Stuck in a trance
Patience
A key to dance
Demons
Scratching
Crying
Wanting to be let out
Waiting
For you
To
Fall

Thunder Storms
Rain falling down
Whispers and screams
Tears falling
Hoping for better
One-sided love
Knowing
Thinking
Everyone is different
Set apart
From their skin
To their personality
Broken girls
To stupid boys
Who regret
But say nothing

Sitting around
I can see
The pain
You caused
Inside of me
I'm not that bright
Or that smart
But I know how you work
how you think
I waisted time
Trying to remember
But they wouldn't
have made me forget
if you were worth remembering

Love is
A four-letter word
Love can
Be painful
But I love Love
Even if you don't love me
Because you are happy
I want you
To be happy
Even if it's not me

Scared and tired
Wishing you could help
Someway and somehow
You want to fix the small thing
Stressing
And waiting
For something better
Heartbreak and pain
Sitting in the dark
Listening to people talking
It's hard enough as is
But we still keep going

You love him
It's obvious
He doesn't deserve you
I don't deserve you
He treats you terribly
Even I can see
That you need better
Someone who can give you everything
Love
Attention
Its obvious I like you but
It's oblivious to you
So I'm glad you don't know
I may be jealous

You said I could trust you
That you would protect me
did you?
Or did you do the worst possible thing
I'm drowning in the pain you caused
Like how every snowflake is different
Same goes for people
You treated me like a queen back then
Looking back
I can see how you changed
You continue to cause pain
And sorrow
Nobody knows why
Maybe you don't either
Maybe that's your problem