I’m lost, unable to truly love.
Satisfying my own needs.
Make it hard for me to sweep you off your feet.
I make it harder to want to even be here.

Don’t bother trying to get close
You’ll burn out at the starting line.
Don’t try to captivate my heart, you’ll overdose.
A poison lingering inside.

Give up on getting me to talk.
‘Cuz I gave up a long, long time ago.
I really don’t even want to do much.
I don’t want to socialize, just leave me alone.

Don’t bother trying to reach me.
I’ll cut you off if you’ve come too far.
I don’t have that many tendons left.
I’m already battered and scarred.
Don’t tell me that it’s not hard.
I haven’t tried every method.
But I’ve tried all of mine from the very start.
Let go of me, I’ll keep pushing back anyways.
Look you straight, dead in the eyes.
Lie to you, “It’s fine, I’ll be okay”.

We’ll stare into each other’s eyes
A seabed of imaginations
Devoid of others prophesied
Delving in to lustful sensations
A world where sadness dies
A moment we two have created.
A world no one else can find.
I wake to realize we haven’t dated.

Dreams are lucid, taunting memories
That’ve yet to happen
It’s up to me to see it through
Hardly knowing each other
I can see that I’m see through to you
I knew
But I still kept on trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel
Bright, bright, oh bright, gentle and subtle.
Shadows that want me to themselves
I’ll reject them until I’ve made my bed in the coffin.
With you, with you, is all I ever I want to be

Signs of dismay
The scorpion’s rebirth
The tunnel a labyrinth, a cave
My chest is swelling, I’m hurt.
Confessions at the lowest rate
“I like you”, I said, you said,
“It’s not me, it’s you.”

I still kept on trying, and trying, to find the light
At the end of the tunnel
No more, that’s it, I’ve tried.
I can’t put up with the fight.
Dimmer, and dimmer, darkness
Has suffocated my only light
Embrace them, and take them
Snug in the bed of my own coffin.

I can’t think of a reason
I don’t see any meaning
It all hurts, but there’s no bleeding
The cleaving, the cleaving
Wrapped in an all black dress
Headspins, the crowd is ecstatic
You walk to me, then I wake
I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming

Oh, you taunt me in my sleep
A broken, hopeless mess
Refusing to rest
Symbolizing my depravity
No you don’t even know what’s best
Heartstrings pulled from my chest

I want you here
But you’re only in the deepest of sleep
What do you even care?
Perfect moments laying stuck in repeat
Kick over the chair
To match that beautiful outfit
This is my despair
No way out, no outlet.

I can’t sleep
I can’t move
I’m trapped in this limbo of urgency
I can’t speak
I can’t breathe
Performing a surgery with those eyes
So refine
Put me to sleep, or be my demise
It’ll be fine
I’ll close off my mind
And think nothing of you.

Happiness, a strange thing.
Happiness with you, more than anything
I need to be with you, but it
Feels like I’m losing my touch.

Happiness, a brave thing.
Happiness with you, I’m begging for it please tell me where you’re going because it
Feels like I’m losing your touch.

You’re my light, yeah.
Otherwise, it’s all the same.
It’s just all the same.
All the same.

Happiness, deranged me.
Happiness with you, all I can think about, it’s true
I’m so ashamed, but it
Feels like I’m losing too much

Happiness, leave me.
Happiness with you, questions left unanswered, no clues
I’m to blame but lately it
Feels like you’re losing enough.

Why?
Why did it go to waste.
It’s all gone to waste.
A fire no longer tamed.
No longer the same.

Happiness, a stranger.
Happiness abandoned, the ship a wreck, seasick, no longer standing
And I
Have given in too far

Happiness, belated.
Happiness, I’m stranded, gashed the wound and taped over with a bandage
And yet
You’re too far out at sea for me.

Smoke away all the problems
Cloud your mind with the fog
I’m too beat up for this ****
I’m too tired to care anymore.
Keeping quiet underneath the lighter
How many times do I gotta say it?
I’m just always ******* tired.

And it hurts to even move.
Nerves of steel melting away.
My body doesn’t know what to do.
Leave me alone.
I’m making love to the trauma that you left.
Serpents swimming in the back of my head.

Call me later.
I’m too busy sleeping.
There’s something greater.
Not strong enough, a simple weakling.
Never said it aloud, but I’m far from proud.
And that’s all I’ve ever been thinking.

Shoot me a text, reply fast as ****.
Six hours later, I was never enough.
Pack up my ****, you threw out my stuff.
Told you I’m leaving and you called my bluff.
The world’s become one massive headache.
If you won’t take me out, I’ll do it myself, for my sake.

Don’t call me later.
I’m too busy making up my mind.
I’ve fallen too deep.
Too long for me to even find.
Alcohol with no chaser.
Drugs that fit like the design.
I’m ******* exhausted.
Too weak to even wave goodbye.

One bite is all I wanted
The taste, the euphoria
An addict with no composure
I just wanted, and wanted more of ya.
Pleasure is something I lack
But yours is becoming a torture
Hours and days can go by
And I just want you to be closer, and closer.

Nothing can ever take the place
Of reminiscent touch
Your skin on mine
I can never get enough
The jester goes on praising his queen
Not everything’s as it seems
To realize that he is no king
To her he means nothing

Wanting nothing more than her
The moment set to be a curse
The cure for a sickness that’s only made symptoms worse
This wouldn’t have started if you hadn’t kissed me first.

Diamonds in the sand, quickly, I’m sinking
Fools gold across the land
Still treasure is treasure, that’s all that I’m thinking
My demons have played a huge part of this hand
I’ve become a civil monster, straying further from man.
God, look at me, the simple fool. Watch as I play along the Devil’s Tune.
Your lightning in the fray, to the goddess I am simple prey
Sins I would not think twice about if asked again to do
All I want
All I want
Is to be yours, and you feel the same about me, too.

I can’t breathe
I can’t see you
I can’t feel you
I want to be whole again.

I can’t reach
I want to be near you
I want to just hear
One more time again.

The world is trembling
And it’s my story that I can’t tell.
I’m screaming but it’s hard to even rebel.

All I ask for is your loving embrace.
Caress my face, tell me it’s okay.
My heart’s in a high speed chase.
Filling the void with deeper pain.
Nothing’s left at stake.
I can feel myself begin to break.

Climbing
The tension’s climbing
The pressure’s rising
Everything’s got me terrified
Please put me back in to hiding
Dying
Feels like I’m dying
Catch my breath, I need you here
By myself, I can say I’m trying.

I’ll kiss the scars on your skin
Treat you like a princess
No queen to rule with a king
Because I’m scared of commitment
Maybe we could start over
Maybe things could have been different
A bullet aimed at hour love
I’ll take the shot for you, my best friend.

Crashing, they’re crashing
The waves of my regret.
Holding on to nothing
At the edge of my seat left in suspense.
Cover my eyes
So my heart can’t bleed through these bandages

I need my wake up call
Bring to my ears, the ringing of tears
Watch my own downfall.
I refuse to take you down with me.
Use me as a stepping stone,
Land on your own two feet.
Your life is more valued and precious compared to mine.

And there’s no real way of telling you.
There’s no real way to say goodbye.
You’re sorry that things had to be this way.
I’m sorry that our love couldn’t survive!

Crashing, it’s all crashing down.
Flooding my mind with waves of shame.
Holding on to barely anything.
What’s yours is yours
And I’ve nothing good for you to claim.
A bullet aimed straight towards our love.
Shoot it down, shoot me now,
I’ll take this pain.

We always talked about how we would leave this place.
That high school was nowhere near the stepping stones to life.
All it ever taught me were new tricks, better places to hide.
Three years later and I’m still stuck at home, better yet I chose to stay inside.

Fitting my eyes on to the screen, locked on pointless detriments
At least that’s what they tell me.
Finding comfort behind the infinite web.
Even if I can’t see you, you guys are all that I need.
You don’t have to feel that way.
You don’t have to force yourselves to stay.
Life outside this box of wonder pulls us back in to check on reality.
And I’m so sorry for how I’ve been.
Enduring the worst, for an inevitable fatality.

Lab rats to the social media game.
Unwillingly we played.
Trapped behind closed doors shutting off more than circulation to our peers.
I pretended I was alright.
Fell in deep conversation almost every night.
My best friends now consist of a keyboard and mouse
And a monitor to reflect the pain.

When it goes black, so does my mind.
Addicted to always losing track of my own time.
Venture out to the otherside without ever having to leave my bed.
All of these theories are in my head.
Maybe I should just log off instead.
No one more game, then I’ll call it a night!

Finding fools gold in a treasure that only I
Can appreciate when times get tough.

Thank you for giving me validation.
Thank you for adding me.
My name is so-and-so.
I’m glad that we can finally meet.
Raise your hand up high.
The cyberworld a crippling joyride.
Life can pass me by
So long as I can connect online.