Your message popped up,
And my world stood still.
Three years later
Your words cut to ****.
I lay there in darkness,
Professing my will.
Only for you,
To take it back still.

You didn’t mind
Tearing my world apart
You dangled your touch
Then stabbed me in the heart.
You said you didn’t love me,
And we would never be friends.
You gave me a week
To be good and just listen.

I crawled on my knees
Chasing answers from you.
As I was Losing my mind,
Your arrogance shone through.  
As you casually ignored me,
Played me for the fool.
Left me there waiting,
For approval from you.  

I promised I’d be softer
And ask you for less.
If you’d just let me,
I could pass the next test.
We could have fun together,
Like before all this stress.
You just watched me suffer,
And wallow in my own mess.

So casually cruel
With the words that you choose.
Carving your own path,
Ensuring a scar from you.
As I begged for truth.
You swatted me around,
Before your claws gave mercy
And let me loose.

You then said it was over
That it all was just a game.
I signed up for it,
You were not to blame.
But what if it doesn’t matter,
And all I want is you.
Could you let me earn back
My spot in life with you.

Because you showed me lightness
When my world was the darkest.
Your touch felt the safest,
And you held me the closest.
Your kiss felt like magic,
And filled me with wonder.
Your eyes were the only ones,
I wanted to be under.

I kneeled down below you
Told you I’d be anything for you.
You told me don’t bother,
You’ve already been through.
Taking all of my bones,
You crushed them with yours.
You told me I was nothing
Nothing More than a *****.

I wrote your eyes
into every poem.
Dreamt of the two every time
I got a moment alone.
I placed you up high,
on the highest of thrones.
I dreamt of your hands
calling mine home.

My eyes saw you as rare
Like the freshest of air,
the kind you feel by the sea.
Warm like a blanket,
smells like coconut,
feels like living in a dream.

With skin so golden,
your touch was unspoken
And I’ll never forget the way i felt.
Like I finally belonged,
in your Latin songs,
That said you wanted me yours.
I fell to my knees,
In you I believed,
I was your American *****.

I’ll be ******
If you’ll ever catch me again,
fighting for a man.
Parading him like he’s mine,
as proud and protective
as a mother lion.

I’ve been there before,
And soon learned,
the battle was not worth
the strength of a woman’s
roar.
It’ll only lead to multiple wars,
And feeling lonelier than before.
Ripping away my identity,
gutting me to my core.  

It’s systemic and unfair
and my heart is meant to
do more than just bare.
Bare the control
of your dominion hands,
Always at my throat
at your command.

Caged to perform
In hopes you’ll keep
me around.
You timid lioness,
You center stage show clown.

Behind the curtains
You remove my claws
one by one.
A life used as your attraction,
Losing all autonomy,
Loving as a transaction.

It’s strange how fast
my heart dropped you.
Because the past thousand days
have lived in shades of blue.
Darkened by the
unfinished business of
my unspoken truths.

I relentlessly crossed your boundaries,
reaching out by text.
Multiple numbers downloaded,
I’m sure you never knew
when I’d pop up next.
On my knees, I begged
for scraps of your humanity,
feeling like the child I once was,
crying out for her family.

You punished me for being
too much,
and for not being obedient.
You said if I ever wanted your
love again,
I first must learn to repent.

You held your power over me,
like a cowardly, tiny man.
seeing past your twisted persona,
I no longer want to hold your hand.
Instead I cut the string that connected us both,
releasing the admiration I once held for you,
like my own sacred oath.

I wrote some of my best poems
about you.
Now, everytime you
cross my mind,
I want to throw my pen,
across the room.

You must have decided,
it was time to get rid of me,
once and for all.
Dangled the hope of your
touch as the bait,
I fell for it so fast,
it was almost criminal.

You have free will
And what was it
You chose to do?
Emotionally mind ****
A woman who
Cared deeply about you.

I think you said
You liked me best
When I was obedient.
“Your good,
Little girl.”
You got mad at me
When I spoke out of line,
When my quiet
Passive ways
Began to become unfurled.

It’s almost like
You wanted me dead
You only came
Back to make sure
You walked off
With my head.

As you cut my Throat,
You told me
You’d have me again.
As long as I stayed
On my knees,
So you could
Live out your sins

Love is such a lie
Take my advice
And never pluck
From the same vine twice.

The beauty is deceptive
And will cost you your mind.
Piercing your skin
each and every time.