By the time the moon rises
I'll be on the run.
I'll go far away, to a place
To call my own.
To leave you all behind
Is what must be done.
I won't apologize for who
I've become.
But I'll apologize only because
I'll be gone.
So don't go looking for me
I won't be found.
Save your breath
And be safe and sound.
Take care, my loves.

This is where I'm free,
hidden behind a computer screen.
I type from within,
not caring what you think.
Yes, it's true
I've lost feeling
I've lost hope
I've lost myself.
No denying the truth
I'm going to swim
swim out of the blue
I'll go far
far from you.
Once I'm there
I'll know what to do.
I don't plan to keep in touch
So I say to you
don't be surprised when I'm gone
out of touch
It was only a matter of time
when I would be free.
I write from within
no sense comes from it.
just truth.

I've always been called strong willed,
But I'm not as it seems.
I've always stayed ahead than the rest
Never knowing where I'm going.
I've always felt numb
Until the day I died.
I've always thought crying was for the weak hearted
I'm the one whose weak.
I've forgotten the feel of happiness
Until true pity arose from within.
I don't know who I am.
I've lost myself over the years.
.
.
I never anticipated for this to happen
.
.

It's an almost hazy stage
The one where I'm numb.
I lie here with my body
And let my mind roam.
It's almost a spiritual feeling
Without anyone.
I travel back in time
A time where I was young.
Running around the block
With a few boys behind me.
The girls they all watch me

One of them walks over
And taunts as she reaches
"girls don't play with boys."
Bewildered with myself
I stop and stare
At a puddle by my feet.
I look into the water
And see what they see.
A girl
No, girls don't play with boys.
Confused with their reason
I tread along back home
Kicking stones as I'm passing
I took one look back
One final look back

They were playing
The girls were playing
Not with themselves
But with the boys too.

It's an almost hazy stage
The one where I'm numb

I sit here and think
Blank
Nothing comes to mind
Can't figure out what to write
I need to go out
Need to go find my grind
Not a ****** kind
No
The one where I think
Use it as an advantage
Yes
Let people know how I think
stop
I look across from myself
and see a mirror
But what I only see
Is who I used to be
Its a messy old image
Seems almost non-existent
If only times were different
I wouldn't be so conflicted.