where I pushed you away from me because I loved you too much

but now I see you love somebody else too much and

I can't help but wonder

you are the blue and golden valleys
glistening in solitude

unexplored and solemn
frozen in dark fabric

I want so badly to reach my hands
feel the way you curve

But temptation is fatal
and you are my death

pine needles naked bodies and golden hairs
you belong on a silver ship
                                               that goes
                                                            ­   to nowhere
                                                         ­               but
                                              ­                 sometimes
                                                    stops
      ­                                   near
                        paradise
storms blowing at stubborn desire
   filling lungs with memories we thought were lost

we die when the soul is exhausted by the torment
   it has swallowed
                                 like honey
                                                   ...and your skin
when it is next to my skin

heavy weights pulling                  your
                                                       ­      mind into dead end streets
                                                         ­    that once looked like happiness
illusions made to keep us moving
                                                          ­    false hope
patterns we like to contrive for comfort
             but comfort is only the brief graze of
                                                          your  ­hand
                         or the flutter of eyelashes
                                 that dance into my heart
                                           *like morning birds

I often wonder
where you travel to
when you disappear

Do you float
through orchards of
ripe fruit

to say hello
to the spirits
who wander like you

Or do you travel
to the Mongolian times
with fire in your eyes

to fight the battles of history
as you wish to fight
your mind

Or do you just disappear to
see
me
suffer

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body.  i like what it does,
i like its hows.  i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones,and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the,shocking fuzz
of your electric furr,and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh….And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new